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Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 14 Dec 2019
Age: 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 33
Location: Colombia

28 Jan 2020, 11:19 pm

So...I have recently been diagnosed with a mixed anxiety-depressive disorder (MADD).
I feel like complete s**t, what a shame.
My psychiatrist send me 50 Mg of Sertraline to consume daily, and also he referred me to cognitive behavioral therapies.

My mom says that the medicine will help me to "camouflage" depressive and anxious symptoms superficially, and maybe she's right. The change must start by myself and carry out an internal improvement process, right?
I don't know... It's very difficult, you know. Ruminant thoughts do not cease, my mind looks like a pot under pressure about to exolt. And my feelings are a roller coaster.

Possibly the problem is mine, of course. Many factors influence my mental state. The political, social and environmental problems around the world, and even the disadvantages of living in an underdeveloped country don't favor my mental state in the least. I guess the bullying done in the past also left its repercussions. I think I should stop identifying so much with my thoughts and start paying more attention to my conscience...

Anyway, a sea of sensations are desperately overflowing me. My mind seeks to wade the moon and the stars. Travel through the speed of light and disappear perpetually from this tangible dimension in wich I am currently. I sincerely want to navigate the inscrutable universe, embark on a moderately volatile odyssey and feel that the world could be mine.

I think I'm losing consciousness about myself. Or maybe I never had it.


Joined: 17 Mar 2019
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270

29 Jan 2020, 12:11 am

My experience is that the meds can take away enough of the symptoms to make some room in your brain and give you the energy to work on actual changes to your thought patterns, daily habits, etc. I would give them a chance, along with a therapist qho either has experience with autism/aspergers or who is very willing to do some research (if an expert isn't available/affordable).

Metaphorically, the meds can be like a helpful person who offers to carry half your books when you are struggling with the weight of all of them. They are still your books and you will need to get them sorted and put away, but the helpful person alongside you makes the work more manageable.

~AQ 32; not formally diagnosed.~