Have you been called "creepy" by the opposite sex?

Post Reply New Topic

I've had girls refer to me as "creepy". They apparently are not interested in me and are afraid of me.

Of course!  Being 'Creepzoned' is part of the Aspie Experience. Women have called me a 'creep' for assuming their gestures of affection and kindness meant sexual interest. Women have also called me 'creepy' for not responding to their obviously sexual overtures. It took a lot of trial-and-error to find a middle ground that worked well for me.

The last time this sort of thing happened...was when I was in my early 20’s.

I knew I had to search for ways not to seem creepy to women.

I'm dark and twisty. Nice to meet you all.

It was an issue for me in my 20s. Like you, I had to learn--in my case, by trial and error and observation--how to respond to in order to avoid this. I still get called "eccentric" and "weird" but not, to my knowledge, "creepy".

Yep....I am regarded as being "eccentric" and "weird."

But, at least on my job, I am given a certain respect because I've been there a long time. My knowledge is respected. I'm also respected for "being myself."

Total opposite in my case. The bitter middle aged women I have to be around still scowl at me for trivial things and the patrons are still argumentative. I also get older “bad boys” telling me the women around me “look better” than me. Instead of “Hi, how are you?”, I get that stupid crap.

I’ve never been called a creep before; I’ve actually had women tell me I am attractive though mostly older women who are already married. But the fact I didn’t get any of the girls “chasing” me like they did to my older brother and other guys makes me question that. I remember one girl I was attracted to would cuddle up with other guys but slap me on the hand. I’ve also had women look away from me or give me a “don’t come near me” look.

Let's see....

Men have called me he-she/dyke/it/Big Foot/fa***t/ret*d/lezzie/Sasquath/duck-feet and, yes, "weird." I've also been slapped, punched, kicked, spit-on, and have had various item hurled at me by boys.

Of course, then I get to come to L&D and have people lecture me about how society doesn't judge women for being strange as harshly as they do men.

People throwing around unwritten social rules as if they're laws is creeping me out.

Society judges everyone very harshly & it's on all of us to cut that s**t out before it destroys every relationship bar none.

I'm not creepy on purpose, I'm quixotic & bluesy. Learn the difference folks.

At some point, you acquire enough coping mechanisms to pass as normal.

I work with mostly women, but I have a personal rule against dating people I work with. I have good working relationships with just about everyone at work. I'm getting old enough so that 'eccentric' is becoming more acceptable, but we have some unique people at work and we value 'out of the box' thinking. That and anyone who might think about being snippy needs their tech fixed when it breaks or misbehaves, so be nice to Mr. Fixit. People know enough to go along with my political in-jokes (covering up Barron's with brown paper so it doesn't get torn, but saying it gets covered so that the blatant capitalism doesn't offend the sensibilities of certain staff and patrons and talking about turning the new luxury hotel down the street into free public housing and/or a 24-hour diner). I also work with really bright people, so the occasional Aspie yabbering about some special interest doesn't generally sail over their heads.

Thinking about starting to go to more left-wing political rallies to meet people. Amateur Radio is my big thing, but that tends to be a 'boys' club'. Ratio of male to female ham operators is probably higher than that of male to female diagnosed adult Aspies.

Guess what I was trying to say before I went down that rabbit hole is that you should go out and find a place where you at least sort of fit in.

Last edited by Archmage Arcane on 29 Jan 2020, 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NT women are creepy too. Social media has a monopoly on how to be a creep & they're very sexist about marketing it.

Not all of them but many of them ...

Creepy, no. Weird, yes.

I doesn't bother me much though.

Probably, but not directly to me, and not only by women. People try to reassure me that I'm not creepy, but I know better. I'd prefer not to be thought of as creepy. The obvious, common sense solution is "well then don't do things that are creepy." I don't intend to be creepy most of the time. I'm socially awkward, anxious, and I don't have the best social skills or the most experience socializing, so there are bound to be faux pas and 'creepy' body language, with anybody, not just women.

But it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy and a self-referencing feedback loop. The more I obsess over how 'creepy' I am, the more self-conscious I become, and thus the more prone I become to committing faux pas, having creepy body language, and giving off creepy vibes. This bothers me to no end, because I don't want people to be uncomfortable around me, and I don't want to be uncomfortable around them.

Hi