At times I dislike being Autistic

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Reasons are:

Because our body language appears differently to other people and it comes across to them as though its weird.

Hate being perceived as being rude and being an annoyance to other people.

that some of us make irrelevant noises or laugh in a funny way than what other people laugh.

That we over react in a dramatic way.

I can't stand the feeling of awkwardness because it then makes me feel like a weirdo.

People look at me walking past in a weird way thinking they must think I'm weird and know there is something wrong.

These things still try to manifest when I try to be as ''normal'' as everyone else and at times upsets and annoys me in front other people when a conversation doesn't come out very well or I hesitate and doddle. I don't know the solution really, obviously I can't get rid of it because it is not an illness, and I heard before that trying to be like everyone else will not make me feel any better either.

Someone made an interesting post on here about eye contact, cant remember who it was its on my comments.

Basically he started to wear dark sunglasses glasses and found he was able to relax more in speaking to people, it reduced alot of the stress associated with face to face contact. He found NTs started to warm to him too as many find non eye contact insulting.

Other things you could try is keeping fit and taking up a constructive interest.

I know it sucks sometimes but until treatments are found we just have to make the best of it.

I like to keep fit but if I was to go to the gym I would just be going for the sole purpose of trying to make my arms look more muscular and I would think it would quite pointless if that was all I was trying to do, I did once have weights at home which I would use and do press-ups and I don't do use the weights anymore because they disappeared and must have been got rid of. I do a lot of walking and I keep fit at work when doing any heavy tasks etc.

I get what you're saying, people do tend to look weird at times, but it's understandable after all. No one knows from the get-go that another person is autistic, so it's natural for them to find certain things about you weird.

I always hate being autistic.

Yes, I'm not quite sure what the "right" body language is, unless I'm doing something noticeable like not moving arms while walking, or visibly stimming - which I don't do anyway. When it's not body language, it's vibes - and giving off the wrong vibes is worse because no matter how well you can work on your body language and appear normal, you can't do much about giving off the wrong vibes and it's not fair.



Sometimes my laugh comes out louder than I wanted it to, resulting in people saying "sshh", which makes me feel like a twat and not feel like laughing any more.



I've gotten better at how I socialise but I still worry about how awkward I can be sometimes. I worry more about how I look in public than I do around friends or family.



Yes, it's unsettling when strangers basically have telepathic abilities. Makes me never want to show my face in public again.


Yeah, being autistic sucks.

I've gotten all of those too, but instead of hating being autistic, I hate being unable to control myself better. I just find it better for my mental health to not hate something that's permanently part of me. Autism doesn't go away, so hating it would be an endless loop for me, but lessening it's impacts one by one is possible.

I do not agree that we overreact in a dramatic way. I think our reactions are very appropriate for the intensity that we feel whatever we are feeling.