Why was I like this as a child? Was anyone else like it?

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When I was a child I was a poorly-behaved brat, but it wasn't caused by bad parenting or being spoilt, because my brother was a pleasant, well-behaved child and we were both treated the same.

From about the age of 4 onwards I had temper tantrums, was so demanding on my mum, was jealous and angry and very attention-seeking, I wanted to rule the household, was so hyper, and would cry and whine if I was anxious, bored, jealous, angry or annoyed.

Example of some things that sent me into a meltdown:-

- If a friend or cousin had to go home early for whatever reason
- If I couldn't go out or have a friend/cousin round to play
- If my brother was teasing me
- When I had to go to bed (although this didn't happen every night but I did dislike bedtimes)
- If someone else had the last sweet or cookie
- If my brother was watching something on the TV and there was something I wanted to watch on another channel
- If I couldn't find something I wanted to use or play with
- If my brother wouldn't play with me
- If my brother was ill and didn't have to go to school
- If other children "derailed" whatever imaginative game we were playing or cheated
- If I lost at a board game
- If other children wanted to do a task that meant no imagination or no physical activity, like listening to music (although I did like watching videos with them)
- If my toys were moved without me knowing

There are loads more that I can't think of at the moment but although these sound rather normal for a child to get upset over, these things (plus lots more) occured every day and a day rarely went by where I didn't have a meltdown that included crying, screaming and throwing toys across the room. Sometimes I would just cry and calm down when comforted or distracted. And this went on all through childhood and even in my teenage years (although obviously I grew out of disliking bedtimes and some other things).

Anyway, I assume not all Aspies are like this as children because otherwise every Aspie (born 1990 onwards) would be diagnosed in childhood. So could my ADHD have contributed to this bad behaviour? I was a very difficult child and always had to be seen and heard. It's probably why I got diagnosed with AS so early.

When I was 4 years old, I was a lot worse.

When I was 6, I was sort of like you described----but I didn't dare behave like that in front of my mother. I behaved like that at school, instead. I would have gotten hit with the "strap" had I behaved like that.

My middle brother Mustafa was like this and is like this sometimes. I was also in ome other things u said ..

I was angry. A lot too but I thought my reasons made sense.. eg not being able to speak at school or phrase myself ...unfairness in parenting between kids..couldnt understand things..


I dont know how an outsider would see it

Kids behave ok at school in comparison.even if they have tantrums..all their real tension is displayed in front of ppl they know wont forsake them.


What is sad is when parents see only a model child and the child suppresses it bcuz they know they wouldnt be shown caring and love ever... n it comes out in other ways .

I didn't have tantrums every day but I still had them every once in a while. I could be bad sometimes. When I was playing video games with my brother and lost, I kicked and punched him. Then mom scolded me and I felt guilty that I lost my temper like that. But one time he smashed a rock on my head and it hurt so bad I fell down. So we're totally even!! ! I come from a bad neighborhood.

I was a brat. The only girl and the youngest in the family, I got away with a lot that I shouldn’t have. I think it was easier for my parents to appease me so I would be quiet. I remember once, being so angry with a brother that I smashed a bottle over his head! At least I was made to clean it up.

I was sullen and moody. I didn't speak. I hid in my bedroom with books and didn't interact with anyone. I always thought that was the extent of it, and that no one knew I had more serious concerns. My brother recently told me that there was much more. The family was aware they couldn't travel with me because I threw tantrums and embarrassed them by being in a bad mood around extended family. I wouldn't go to hotels. I beat up my own mother in a hotel bed one night because I didn't like to travel or share a bed. Apparently yes, I was known throughout the family and even with my US relatives as being a very difficult child. I didn't know any of this until a few weeks ago. I knew I was moody, but didn't think that my family could tell. They definitely could. Likewise with my stimming, my mother used to tell me that I looked "ret*d". I'm sure the extended family didn't think very well of it either.

It makes me upset that no one thought to test me, or get any type of help.

Well there was a reason! Kids are not seemingly unpleasant for fun.Extended family should care and understand.

I threw tantrums screamed ..hid..n cried and was called sullen and didnt talk too... lots of stuff

but still met extended family. If someone doesn’t care enough to take a related child as the child is...’warts and all’ they should be ashamed.


They dont need to be buddy buddy just make the parents feel at ease and accommodate the child a bit!

You were spared , anyhow. How embarrassingly tacky OF THEM to talk of a child as difficult and make the family feel unwelcome

I was more like your brother, Joe90 in that my sister was the one to have epic meltdowns to the likes of which I have CPTSD partially from the emotional wreckage that it caused in our household. I had shutdowns to cope but rarely did I have meltdowns. My sister hasn't been assessed for autism at this point. I would like her to get assessed though.

I honestly don't know how my Mom held it together it was so bad at times.

My stimming made my parents horrified.
My mom hated my stimming and badmouthed it too.


Imagine their horror when we visited some family abroad..

And they walked down and saw I was teaching my stim to cousins after they asked what I was doing ..

my parents grabbed me and told me it is something to keep private...I explained it is just something to help my cousins relax.. I thought I was doing them a favour by showing them.

The. My parents gave us a lecture thenasked my cousins not to tell their parents what I had showed them n made us all promise then rewarded my cousins with money or icecream.. I forget which


we have a loooot in common lol

I honestly don’t remember a lot of my childhood. My parents say I was well-behaved most of the time. When I tried to make amends to my brother for the way I felt like I treated him, he said he didn’t remember anything bad except for a couple of incidents where he fought back.

Be kind to yourself, and to that inner child who clearly needed it.

I did all of those things too, but not daily, sometimes not even weekly. Maybe you have a bad temper? Or maybe it's an AS/ADHD compination thing like you suspect. I don't have the later so I don't know.

I’ve been told that when I was little I always just demanded things saying “I need ... “.

I have no memory of this, but apparently my mum once got so frustrated with my behaviour on a journey that she dumped me by the side of the road and drove off.

I know I was the only one of the kids my dad used physical discipline on.

I know of at least one of ‘my’ toys that was a Christmas present to my sister, but she was forced to swap because it was the only way to calm me down... that one I’m still ashamed of

And as I got older I got quieter and withdrew pretty much totally, I was left to entertain myself in my room.

Hadn’t really thought of it as a whole before though...

My mom never actually drove off she did it to me once but i apologized jst as she wa parking...
but she did that with my brothers for fightng incessantly n being really really bad ...it was the only thing that worked . It was really my brother Mustafas fault ..

he was the naughtiest kid most times...

but I guess she put them both so they would work it out between themselves to reconcile...
it worked Temporarily anyway he never fought n misbehaved to that stage again

My mom said she thinks we all have autism except my sister. She told me that sInce my brother began taking meds recently he opened up n told her a lot of things like he always needs the doorknob turned and opened three times etc.

But he kept it to himself before and all u saw was rage or acting out.
Plus he is so charismatix that nobody thought he didnt choose his problems. They thought he chos to be that way. Not that that is him Entirely but she never understood his built up anger and issues till he explained ... he was not an angry kid just a naughty one who was always in trouble...

My sister is the epitome of a successful adult and has had no issues ever. The most would be a disagreement wth a friend. And she always stood up for herself and knew everything intrinsically.

So I don’t know why that happened to her but nobody else.



Thats why I get mad thinking how it can definitely be genetic but nobody considers that the parents don’t know or notice because maybe they are the same way so the kids never get diagnosed and help ...nor parents. So the two downward spirals of adults and kids combined is hopeless.

My dad has more impulse control now .

^ Yeah, my wife thinks my dad is super-high functioning AS, and that’s why he can’t see it in me: I appear normal to him.
I’ve got two diagnosed cousins, and most of my family on my dad’s side are ‘eccentric’ and/or ‘antisocial’... or so I’m told.

I do know that even 'normal' children can be a pain and demanding, etc. But with me it was to the point where it was problematic and caused great stress for my mum. My dad was a bit more patient and just put up with it, but I was more demanding on my mum.

When I was 2 and 3 I was like a normal developing toddler, but sadly I didn't grow out of the "terrible two's". In fact it got WORSE as I got older. Sometimes though, I could be a very pleasant happy child and just get along without any problems. Other times I could be awful. I didn't have a tantrum every day but nearly every day. I was very hyperactive though. I'm surprised they didn't diagnose me with ADHD when I was younger.

But in other ways I was like a normal kid. I was interested in the latest crazes my peers were into, and I went out and played with other children in the neighborhood, and I didn't have any obsessions until I reached age 11.

The sad thing is when I was a teenager I was a burden on my mum because I was lonely. I had no friends at school, my cousins were out with their own friends, and I often got clingy with my mother and cried a lot. She got exasperated and wanted me to be out with friends too. I'd beat myself up about it.