ADHD peers don’t see me as autistic

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Hello! This isn’t a huge problem in my life, but something I do think about. A lot (if not all) of my close friends were diagnosed with ADHD, my partner has ADHD as well. Something that gets under my skin sometimes is that my closest friend as well as my boyfriend sort of dismiss the fact that I have Aspergers (not professionally diagnosed, but practically confirmed by a therapist and lots of studying online) and instead see me as having ADHD like them. Sure, it’s possible that I could also have that, but it feels a tad invalidating when I hear “Nah, that’s just ADHD” and it makes me question if I should even call myself an aspie. I know they mean no harm, we do have a lot in common! But it feels like the autistic traits I have are just seen as my quirks, while my traits that overlap with my friends are seen as ADHD symptoms to them.

Like I said, this isn’t a big enough deal to be badly affecting my friendships/relationships, but I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experience? I often second guess myself about having Aspergers since it’s so similar to ADHD on top of the fact that a lot of people in my life think I have neither, it would be nice to hear words of advice or solidarity from you guys!

Probably they are just reflecting themselves onto you.

Do you think they have ASD traits?

Would you be able to have an assessment for ASD and / or ADHD, to find out? It seems that regardless of your friends' opinions you are a little insecure about identifying with either neurotype. There is a really high likelihood that you have both, if indeed you have one. With an assessment you'd be able to see your unique profile. This would help your understanding but also your friends', if you chose to share.

I got my ASD diagnosis two years ago, and my ADHD diagnosis two days ago!

If you don't want an assessment or it's beyond your reach at this time, continue doing all the research you can about both conditions to improve your understanding and self-awareness.

I agree with Isabella, it's best to do your own research and get tested in case you have both or either. No one knows what you are going through but yourself. I have NT self-diagnose me with ADHD (which I do have), and others with ADHD say I have autism, which I might have. Testing is the only way to be sure. Best of luck to you!

Maybe your ADHD peers dont see you as ASD because they get distracted too easily...


...SQUIRREL!! !! !

I have ASD and ADHD. I had an ADHD friend once who used to work with kids on the autism spectrum. When I told her I thought I could be on the spectrum myself, she said "oh, you don't seem that way to me". I think it might have been because she was used to working with kids on the spectrum and not adults. Also, she only knew me for the role I have learned to play (though not always successfully) in public, not for my true self. Only my close family members know the real me.