Being seen makes me cry/triggers panic attacks

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Over the past few days I suddenly developed a fear of being seen because I feel so disgusting. It started by having to hear from multiple peers about issues they were having because people found them attractive. I have been called pretty by family and friends before but I was also told I was a 3 by a peer before and didn't exactly rank high on this list boys in my year made of girls they thought were attractive. If I remember correctly I was only slightly higher than the middle, and was the lowest in my group of friends. On the other hand, all of this was years ago and I've lost a lot of weight, continuing to have another continued drop of about 3-4 Kg since the beginning of this academic year. Anyway, as well as trying to help my friends, I couldn't help but feel envious of them but at the same time guilty and disgusted at myself. I was fine until at the end of the day, when meeting with a friend from my old school I hadn't seen for months, she told me of a confession. I listened but from that point became steadily more aware that people can see me and worried increasingly about how I looked and believed that how I look is something I subject others to. I went to my other friends house that evening and when she went to film something funny I was doing I basically curled up and became really anxious. On the way home I almost had a panic attack and sobbed my heart out the whole evening.

The next day I started getting anxious and cried again on the bus because I hated people could see me and how disgusting I perceive myself to be. When I got to school the anxiety got so much that I hid myself under my coat and stopped talking to my friends because my self loathing was so bad and basically just quietly cried while hiding my face. This continued until the end of the day when my mood picked up a little but I also silently, and I think subtly (the teacher didn't notice) cried all the way through my German class. The idea of being seen just seemed so repulsive and I felt so exposed just sitting there and feeling like everyone was judging me and no one liked me.

Since then, and it's been a couple days now, I'm hyper conscious of how I look and I just feel completely disgusting and pathetic. Looking at my body used to make me cry occasionally but now just being seen puts me in fight or flight and I can't just always hide under a jacket. It's really annoying because it's such a dumb thing for me to obsess over but I also feel like I may have another panic attack tomorrow because of it.

How on earth am I going to get over this? It's making my daily life terrifying and I just feel so low. Are any of you ever like this?

To me it sounds like body dysmorphia....its a condition where you can feel really bad about your body or perceived flaws and be very distressed of other people seeing it. I don't know if that is the case with you, but might be something at least worth looking into, because if you do have that there are treatments that could potentially help.

But yeah feeling so ashamed of your appearance you are hiding in a jacket seems like it could qualify.

I was Exactly like this for most of my life and still can be most times. I was bullied severely for being ugly. Bjt it isn't only for looks. Its there regardless..

The intense fear of people... being seen (not for how i looked but just not knowing what ppl are thinking or what is expected or what ppl will do.. No structure or guide)

crying ...the panic you try to subdue... that rarely lets go ...
Hiding..
Covering selfwith blanket at home n having tantrums or feeling agitated...

if even a family member tried to get me to take it off to speak to me..

(The above has been Lifelong not related to image issues just wanting to be be hidden )
and issues with processing surroundings in situations were ppl are there...
were already there...
And now agoraphobia


Welbutrin helped decrease the self conscioisness n crying non-stop... by making my mind less scattered.
The disarray causes my mind to panic and start focusing on that. The welbutrin n being around more ppl one on one.. It gives my mind strength and structure to get through for nezt time im alone.


Iodine drops also helped hugely. I guess i must have been low in it. I still take it once or twice a week.

Very salty ( pickled or brined ) foods like olives, umemboshi (spelling?) Plums, etc are STrongly recommended in naturopathy for this too
I read it in a book of my mom's years ago..


I always feel 100 times more capable n happier the day after having those.. Eg yesterday n today i had pickled n brined olives ...after a long time. ..

n felt a huge sense of relief where i was fine today ...
going out alone and with someone (my son)... No crying or panic..
Unlike other days..


The only thing I can say is that therapy helped greatly but I still get like this at times... But before therapy n meds it was daily no matter what.

Stimming also helps. Eg going to a quiet enclosed space (i used to go within hedges that had a hollow, or behind buildings ).

The only way 'exposure therapy' worked in my experience was with the help n guidance of a kind and smart outside person (a good therapist from Betterhelp dot com called Karlee Carter). Second is calling ppl who understand or care enough that they listen as I say everything I'm thinking n even bawl ....

My mom said (n therapist too( that expecting less of yourself will actually reduce the problem.


Bcuz if u choose not to beat urself up n accept that this is something i might not get through n is valid n that u need time to get through it..

it actually reduces pressure in the long term..

gives you comfort knowing it's valid n not something to fight.. Then u work thru it a bit more..process it..then it's easier the next time..
Giving urself time to process..

But yeah. I was actually quite shocked to reax this as I didn't know ppl beside myself and my youngest brother were like this.

But he doesn't cry he is just very agitated and nervous n angry...

Please try to express to your therapist how much pain and fear you are experiencing; reading what you are going through is just heartbreaking.
If you cannot adequately express how much you are suffering, please open WP on your phone during your appointment and have her read your messages.
Please keep us updated how your counseling/medication helps you; we care.

So I told the therapist but it's school therapy so I only had 40 mins. In the meantime, my mum is trying to get me back into cahms. Today my anxiety was so bad I purposefully skipped a class and cried through my other two, having to leave one abruptly. I just want to feel better because this is ridiculous.