My mother loves her stepdaughter more than me

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Whenever my mother’s stepdaughter visits, she will treat her kindly and become more abrasive than usual towards me. She will tell me to stop talking if I try to say something but then glare at me for being quiet, follow me around while giving me lectures, and berate me in front of her stepdaughter. I no longer regret anything I’ve said about her. She’s made it clear she doesn’t truly love me and just wants to abuse me.

How old is your step-sister? Maybe after raising just boys she has fun having a daughter.

Mark did you get that PM I sent apologizing to you?

She’s not a baby. She’s younger than me but I don’t know her exact age. She lives in another state with her boyfriend who is in his late 30’s. Are you defending my mother? I really don’t think you understand the abuse I get from her.



I replied to it but yes.

Last edited by Marknis on 18 Mar 2020, 10:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

Are you planning to leave her?

I want to but I am stuck.

What steps can you take to get unstuck?

Are you able to work from home with your library, Marknis?

I’m neither defending your mother, nor attacking her. I grew up in a home with four men and my mother and I. No sisters, no nearby female relatives. I married and had a son. For some time it was just him and I. He married a few years ago. I don’t live near them, but I love having a daughter now! I can buy “girlie” presents. I was wondering if your mother might feel the same way.

It's possible that your mom is being extra nice to the stepdaughter because she wants to impress her husband. Women (mothers) do some dumb s**t just to keep a man.
Or else she's worried that the stepdaughter might say something negative about her to the ex-wife.

No, she doesn’t do anything like that for her.
I also don’t see how having a stepdaughter justifies her terrible behavior towards me so you really do not understand how I feel.
It’s also my mother’s fault I will likely never have any children. She didn’t even want to be a grandmother and actually wanted me to get a vasectomy. She even pushed it on me the most despite how I couldn’t even get a coffee date while my siblings were getting girlfriends all the time.

It sounds like you are telling me I should just “take it” when it comes to my mother. I won’t. I hope her fourth divorce will happen. If she doesn’t want me to have a girlfriend, I don’t want her to be happy.

You didn’t actually get a vasectomy did you?

I don’t think it’s fair how your mother is treating you. But don’t blame her for not having kids...unless she actually made you get a vasectomy.

No, I fortunately did not.

Someone on her fourth marriage isn't happy, probably has her own issues that has nothing to do with you. You are just the closest target.
My asperger's clouds my view of reality - I have a bipolar sister and really had no clue at all. I just thought she was dramatic. I never even thought about why she behaved as she did, just accepted it as fact.
If your mother can talk to someone about her issues (medication too?) maybe she will become nicer to you. I actually have a relationship with my sister now, where before we were just shared dna.
Good luck.

You’re trying to put words into my mouth again. I made absolutely no mention about your relationship with your mother. I only mentioned a possible reason that she was seeming to enjoy her stepdaughter’s company.

No.