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Are you married?
yes 52%  52%  [ 22 ]
no, and don't want to 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
no, but I want to 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
have a girlfriend/boyfriend 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
never dated 21%  21%  [ 9 ]
divorced 10%  10%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 42

latency
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 25 Mar 2020
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Lebanon

26 Mar 2020, 12:06 am

I myself have never dated, mainly due to social isolation because of my tics (weird behaviors).
moving my lips so that it appears as if i talk to myself, but in fact I'm absent minded.
sometimes :oops: I get excited/angry I start to do weird gestures with my hands.

I've stopped doing it in public now.

I find myself interested in talking to people.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 96 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 118 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


Joe90
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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,608
Location: Maidstone, UK

26 Mar 2020, 1:00 am

I am engaged and we're supposed to be getting married this spring but obviously that's out of the question thanks to China.


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Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 21,200
Location: Long Island, New York

26 Mar 2020, 1:59 am

Joe90 wrote:
I am engaged and we're supposed to be getting married this spring but obviously that's out of the question thanks to China.

:cry:


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


Callafiriel
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 24 Jan 2014
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 42

26 Mar 2020, 3:01 am

I always knew I wanted to get married. I finally achieved it in my mid-30s. I have been happily married ever since to a fellow Aspie.

Joe90 wrote:
I am engaged and we're supposed to be getting married this spring but obviously that's out of the question thanks to China.


I'm sorry to hear that but don't let it get you down. My husband and I had to get married half a year later than we had wanted because one incompetent clerk messed up everything for me and my husband, who's from a different country and needed extra paperwork, and as a result we had to postpone our wedding.

In the end we had a really nice wedding and waiting another half year wasn't that bad as we were living together anyway, as I believe so are you and your boyfriend. It'll just give you more time to plan and look forward to it. :)



JimSpark
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 1 Feb 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 134
Location: Denver, Colorado, USA

26 Mar 2020, 5:17 am

There should have been the option, "Yes, but I wish I wasn't" :jester:


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DSM-5 Diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Without accompanying intellectual or language impairment, Level 1.


renaeden
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Joined: 12 Jun 2005
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,789
Location: Western Australia

26 Mar 2020, 6:51 am

I picked "Divorced" because there wasn't an option for Separated. My husband and I split in 2010 when he made the decision to transition to female. We lived apart until 2013 when it was in our best interests to live together again (long story). So we've been living together since then but we have separate rooms. My mum is pressing me to start the divorce process because I stand to inherit a lot when my parents pass away and she doesn't want my ex to get any of it.



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 67,300
Location: Queens, NYC

26 Mar 2020, 10:01 am

I’m married.



IsabellaLinton
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Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,164

26 Mar 2020, 10:04 am

renaeden wrote:
I picked "Divorced" because there wasn't an option for Separated. My husband and I split in 2010 when he made the decision to transition to female. We lived apart until 2013 when it was in our best interests to live together again (long story). So we've been living together since then but we have separate rooms. My mum is pressing me to start the divorce process because I stand to inherit a lot when my parents pass away and she doesn't want my ex to get any of it.


My brother is divorced twice, and now living with someone longterm. My mother feels the same way. She's already written in her Will that she doesn't want his current partner to have any claim on her house / assets when she dies. Who knows if that's binding or not but it's in her Will. I would definitely get the divorce since it's likely straight forward paperwork, assuming you have no children or issues to contest.



Velorum
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 11 Mar 2020
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 37
Location: England

26 Mar 2020, 10:32 am

Yes - for the third time.


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Diagnosed: ASD/AS ICD-10F84.5


FletcherArrow
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Oct 2019
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 356
Location: usa

26 Mar 2020, 10:52 am

I am a little amazed that 56% of us are married. I only married for the first time a few days after my sixtieth birthday.

I wonder if female Aspies are more likely to be married than male Aspies. I married an NT woman.



FletcherArrow
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Oct 2019
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 356
Location: usa

26 Mar 2020, 10:53 am

renaeden wrote:
I picked "Divorced" because there wasn't an option for Separated. My husband and I split in 2010 when he made the decision to transition to female. We lived apart until 2013 when it was in our best interests to live together again (long story). So we've been living together since then but we have separate rooms. My mum is pressing me to start the divorce process because I stand to inherit a lot when my parents pass away and she doesn't want my ex to get any of it.


For whatever it is worth, people with Asperger's have a higher rate of Gender Identity Disorder than NTs.

Did you not want to stay with her once she transitioned? What she Aspie also?



FletcherArrow
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Oct 2019
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 356
Location: usa

26 Mar 2020, 10:56 am

JimSpark wrote:
There should have been the option, "Yes, but I wish I wasn't" :jester:


Why do you wish you were not married?



AriaEclipse
Sea Gull
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Joined: 4 Jan 2020
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 235
Location: Home

26 Mar 2020, 12:41 pm

I'm not married and I've never been in a relationship but if I meet the right person, I might go for it and get married. I wouldn't be interested in a huge ceremony but like I said, it all depends on if I ever meet somebody I want to take that big step with.


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dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Posts: 4,003
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan

26 Mar 2020, 2:05 pm

I both have never even dated and have no interest in doing so, highly doubt I'll ever get married and know I'll probably be happier that way. And for the record, I'm female.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


SharonB
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Joined: 14 Jul 2019
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Posts: 1,368

26 Mar 2020, 3:32 pm

I am married. Like many ASD folks I found a minority - so we could relate to each other that way, and it's funny b/c, like me, he doesn't understand many idioms (me b/c of ASD, him b/c it's his second language/culture) --- so, again --- we relate (and clarifying everything is required, not "weird"). I also think he has ASD in his family (albeit not him), so in that way I may have been "familiar" to him.

My ASD-like BFF didn't have her first date until her mid 30s, but has had several partners since then. She is in a long-term relationship, with shared financial obligations, but not technically married.

Wishing you well for this area of interest...

My daughter flaps a lot, and I envision her having a partner if she desires. Already when asked by peers about her tics she confidently says: "This is how I express excitement..." (or stress, or whatever). In my day, I would have hung my head in shame (or not known how to respond). I wish there was a switch inside to know that I am worthy - hopefully EMDR will help me and how to navigate the world accordingly. I'll keep pushing around here and there and maybe one day I'll trip over it. :D