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redchidragon
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22 Apr 2020, 8:08 pm

It annoys and angers me to NO end hardly anyone seems to respect me. I had to live with trauma after trauma and my reward? Being disrespected and being treated like garbage. I appreciate the kind responses I have received so far. To be more constructive: How do I gain more respect? Maybe some people are jerks but in all honesty I'm almost certain I'm doing something wrong.



Last edited by redchidragon on 22 Apr 2020, 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Throwaway2
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22 Apr 2020, 8:18 pm

what do you define as respect
as in what would people have to do or say to show respect



redchidragon
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22 Apr 2020, 8:29 pm

I just want to be treated as an equal within reason. Just b/c I'm a resturant worker doesn't mean I'm garbage. Just B/c I'm Aspie doesn't mean I'm less. Just b/c I'm female doesn't make me second class citizen. Apparently to most it does. In essance, I don't expect a lot. I have PTSD and don't do well with being treated like a child or I'm someone lesser. I am thankful I'm not treated the worst often but I can DEFINITELY be treated better.



Throwaway2
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22 Apr 2020, 8:34 pm

all reasonable requests in a perfect world
sadly the world is far from perfect



Joe90
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22 Apr 2020, 8:37 pm

I respect you.

((Hugs))


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redchidragon
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22 Apr 2020, 8:42 pm

Thanks I appreciate it a lot. I'm people are not disrespecting me as much as I think but there still are several people who do.



Throwaway2
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22 Apr 2020, 8:50 pm

i didnt want to say this as you seemed to be close to meltdown
but trauma and autism can do strange things to your mind
it can make you negative and interpret things incorrectly
have you a therapist to talk to



kraftiekortie
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22 Apr 2020, 8:52 pm

I respect you as a human being.

You can’t force people to respect you.

I’m just a clerk myself. And I feel the irritations of being disrespected because of that.

But the worst thing you can do is demand respect.

I’m sorry you’re feeling what you’re feeling.



redchidragon
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22 Apr 2020, 8:55 pm

Throwaway2 wrote:
i didnt want to say this as you seemed to be close to meltdown
but trauma and autism can do strange things to your mind
it can make you negative and interpret things incorrectly
have you a therapist to talk to



No offense that's an example of being disrespected. Just b/c I have Autism doesn't mean I melt down. I certainly am angry often but I'm not crying, screaming, kicking , throwing, ect. See. I hate being sterotyped and crapped on. Now, I know you didn't mean to do that but people often are pushing my buttons like that.



Throwaway2
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22 Apr 2020, 9:03 pm

none taken

ill get my coat



redchidragon
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22 Apr 2020, 9:05 pm

Throwaway2 wrote:
none taken

ill get my coat


I appreciate your kindness. Perhaps my anger scares people. I am a roaring lion being a leo afterall. But I love people and I just merely want to feel loved and respected in turn. Perhaps it's my tone that scares people. I'm not violent. I do acknowlege I have a nasty temper.



MjrMajorMajor
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22 Apr 2020, 11:30 pm

I totally understand where you are coming from. Eventually, I've come to realize it doesn't really matter. You just have to develop that respect for yourself internally, and you can stop looking for validation from other people. Don't give random people that much power.



Fnord
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23 Apr 2020, 8:18 am

redchidragon wrote:
It annoys and angers me to NO end hardly anyone seems to respect me.  I had to live with trauma after trauma and my reward?  Being disrespected and being treated like garbage.  I appreciate the kind responses I have received so far.  To be more constructive: How do I gain more respect?  Maybe some people are jerks; but, in all honesty, I'm almost certain I'm doing something wrong.  I just want to be treated as an equal within reason.  Just because I'm a restaurant worker doesn't mean I'm garbage.  Just because I'm Aspie doesn't mean I'm less.  Just because I'm female doesn't make me second-class citizen.  Apparently to most it does.  In essence, I don't expect a lot.  I have PTSD and don't do well with being treated like a child or I'm someone lesser.  I am thankful I'm not treated the worst often but I can DEFINITELY be treated better.
Which of the following do you think is disrespectful?

• Someone correcting your grammar, punctuation, or spelling?
• Someone pointing out that what you consider 'facts' are not?
• Someone pointing out that what you consider 'real' is not?
• Someone pointing out that your reasoning skills may need improvement?
• Someone saying "Calm down" or "Please lower your voice" to you?
• Someone suggesting to you a better way of doing things?
• When people ask you to repeat what you have just said?
• When people ask you to step aside so they can continue on their way?
• When people forget your birthday?
• When people walk past you without even noticing you?
• This list of questions?


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KeelyBoerner
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23 Apr 2020, 9:00 am

Hello! I'm a new member. Nice to meet you all!



Tim_Tex
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23 Apr 2020, 9:38 am

KeelyBoerner wrote:
Hello! I'm a new member. Nice to meet you all!


Welcome to WP!


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Aesthetic Artist
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24 Apr 2020, 4:04 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
I totally understand where you are coming from. Eventually, I've come to realize it doesn't really matter. You just have to develop that respect for yourself internally, and you can stop looking for validation from other people. Don't give random people that much power.


I totally agree with the above. After having a breakdown from full time office job I had, I am now a part time cleaner in a school.
No one really thanks you or appreciates you but I find it's how I feel about myself that's important and not feeling the need f
gain validation from others. I would love to have a perfect job that matched my intelligence but for now I have to be content with the cleaning. I'm an artist also but it's very hard to make a living from so I just try to enjoy it and not worry about what others like or not.
I also have a bit of a temper and just having to work on that currently.