Giving Up The Ghost
02 May 2020, 3:58 am
I'm going to keep this short and simple: I'm 38 years old and I've been on alternating dating sites (around 10 by my counting) for nearly a decade. In that time, I've had no more than maybe 15 actual dates with a zero second date rate, with one notable exception because it doesn't count. I've messaged with dozens of other people who ended up either ghosting me or flat out deciding we weren't compatible after a lengthier time talking. All the actual relationships I've had have been with people I've met in real life first, which I've promptly f****d up anyhow. Every time I have another negative experience on the sites, I swear that I'm going to go off of them for good but I'm so desperate, I keep coming back.
I don't know what the problem is but I have a feeling this rate is pathetically low and possibly implausible, considering I'm not unattractive (at least not in pictures) and I know I'm at least a decent conversationalist. So unless women are looking for something so incredibly specific that it's undefinable, there's no reason I should be having this much difficulty, especially considering I've approached conversations in every possible way, shape and form at this point. I mean, when you think about it, is there really only a perfect concoction of words that work while the rest of them completely fail? How different can my conversations be from other people's that they can keep a woman's interest but I can't? I'm starting to believe that men who say they've had an amazing success rate are either lying or are simply a different species than me. My only other theory involves the supernatural and I don't think anyone's ready for that.
Anyway, I think it's about time I gave up on this and dating in general. It's likely I just wasn't meant to be successful since I can't imagine that there's a "right" thing to do that I haven't done yet.
The_Face_of_Boo
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02 May 2020, 4:30 am
By taking everything you say as true, here I think why:
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
02 May 2020, 5:58 am
^^^ just this. Beside of this you don't get an impression of you opposite and you ar unable to establish any emotional connection over the internet. For this learn to get the attention in real life, learn to talk, stay positive while talking and care about eye contact and don't scare away with showing affection.
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02 May 2020, 3:57 pm
O.K., if you have been on dating sites for ten years and no success, I would change to something else.
If you hold a job and earn a living, then I would say that you should be able to find a mate.
But you need to change your perspective. Today many modern women date for romance and love. But in distant years past, that was not always the case. It was to find a match to get married and raise children. Romantic love was not always the prime consideration. Watch the film "Fiddler on the Roof", it will give you a different perspective of marriage.
I suspect most Aspies need someone skilled in the art of matchmaking. This might be your parents or relatives, extrovert friends or maybe even an official matchmaker.
So if your goal is to find a woman who would like to become your wife and the two of you raise a family, then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Perhaps you need to expand your horizon and consider other places, countries, civilizations, cultures that still retain the old world philosophy.
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02 May 2020, 5:36 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
By taking everything you say as true, here I think why:
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
I'm totally with you on the male to female ratio imbalance and I get that they're getting way more messages than men but I disagree that they're extremely ugly. Most of the ones I've seen (if their pics can be believed) are extremely attractive. Maybe I just have low standards but I doubt it. Also, I suspect that many of these women, despite swearing they're looking for a real relationship and are not into hookups, aren't being entirely truthful since I'm pretty sure they've been hooking up with someone during the time they've been on these apps... just not me.
As well, you didn't really address the male perspective. Even if these women are picky, there are obviously certain men (again, if they can be believed) that are successful with them so what sets them apart from me or anyone else?
And I think I know why all my relationships came from real life... on dating apps, the women who were attracted to me ended up being disappointed when we met because they were probably expecting someone else, since online dating doesn't take into account things like personality, facial expressions, body language, vocal intonation etc. The women I've met in real life who were attracted to me couldn't have been disappointed because that was their first time seeing me so they had no point of reference to compare me to. So yes, they liked me for me but it's also possible that if they had met me online first and still been attracted to that person, they might not have been that interested anymore once they saw me in person. Just a theory though.
nick007
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02 May 2020, 10:31 pm
jimmy m wrote:
If you hold a job and earn a living, then I would say that you should be able to find a mate.
If I had my own place when I was single I would of taken in a girl who needed a place to stay. I was on a forum years ago & a disabled guy offered a girl on the forum a place to stay. She was getting kicked out of her parents rite after high-school graduation & she didn't have any options or plan. The guy on the forum offered to take her in. He was disabled but very independent, however he was advised by docs that he shouldn't live alone just incase something would happen. He had a roommate who was moving out & he was also very lonely being single. He didn't have much problem getting dates(not much more than the average guy) if they didn't know about his disabilities. 1ce women found out about his disabilities thou, that was always the end of things. He tried meeting women lots of ways on & offline without anything ever developing into a relationship. Anyways he took the girl on the forum in hopping it would lead to a relationship but it was not required. He was happy to help her out & have another roommate even if it wouldn't of led to anything. A little while after she moved in, he helped her get a job(in a different department at his company or at a company affiliated with his). He wasn't pressuring her to work, she wanted to be more independent & help out more & he was being supportive. About a year after she moved in, they were getting married. She admitted on the forum 1ce that he wasn't the type of guy she normally would of been interested in. She wasn't that attracted to him at 1st & she would of been freaked out by his disabilities & weirded out by him being about 10 years older than her. But he won her over after she was with him while.
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03 May 2020, 12:32 am
nick007 wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
If you hold a job and earn a living, then I would say that you should be able to find a mate.
If I had my own place when I was single I would of taken in a girl who needed a place to stay. I was on a forum years ago & a disabled guy offered a girl on the forum a place to stay. She was getting kicked out of her parents rite after high-school graduation & she didn't have any options or plan. The guy on the forum offered to take her in. He was disabled but very independent, however he was advised by docs that he shouldn't live alone just incase something would happen. He had a roommate who was moving out & he was also very lonely being single. He didn't have much problem getting dates(not much more than the average guy) if they didn't know about his disabilities. 1ce women found out about his disabilities thou, that was always the end of things. He tried meeting women lots of ways on & offline without anything ever developing into a relationship. Anyways he took the girl on the forum in hopping it would lead to a relationship but it was not required. He was happy to help her out & have another roommate even if it wouldn't of led to anything. A little while after she moved in, he helped her get a job(in a different department at his company or at a company affiliated with his). He wasn't pressuring her to work, she wanted to be more independent & help out more & he was being supportive. About a year after she moved in, they were getting married. She admitted on the forum 1ce that he wasn't the type of guy she normally would of been interested in. She wasn't that attracted to him at 1st & she would of been freaked out by his disabilities & weirded out by him being about 10 years older than her. But he won her over after she was with him while.Funny you should mention this because that's exactly what I attempted to do a short while back and it didn't end well at all. I encourage you to read this thread I began a few months ago. It's a bit long, including all the comments, but it might give you a better idea about my circumstances.
viewtopic.php?t=385251
The_Face_of_Boo
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03 May 2020, 4:59 am
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
By taking everything you say as true, here I think why:
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
I'm totally with you on the male to female ratio imbalance and I get that they're getting way more messages than men but I disagree that they're extremely ugly. Most of the ones I've seen (if their pics can be believed) are extremely attractive. Maybe I just have low standards but I doubt it. Also, I suspect that many of these women, despite swearing they're looking for a real relationship and are not into hookups, aren't being entirely truthful since I'm pretty sure they've been hooking up with someone during the time they've been on these apps... just not me.
As well, you didn't really address the male perspective. Even if these women are picky, there are obviously certain men (again, if they can be believed) that are successful with them so what sets them apart from me or anyone else?
And I think I know why all my relationships came from real life... on dating apps, the women who were attracted to me ended up being disappointed when we met because they were probably expecting someone else, since online dating doesn't take into account things like personality, facial expressions, body language, vocal intonation etc. The women I've met in real life who were attracted to me couldn't have been disappointed because that was their first time seeing me so they had no point of reference to compare me to. So yes, they liked me for me but it's also possible that if they had met me online first and still been attracted to that person, they might not have been that interested anymore once they saw me in person. Just a theory though.
I don’t disagree with anything you said.
03 May 2020, 4:20 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
By taking everything you say as true, here I think why:
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
- Most of the other men don’t date via dating apps, but via social networking, you said yourself that most of your relationships started in real life.
- Have you ever seen an AVERAGE woman’s facebook inbox? They get messages by the hundreds every day, literally - a whole Roman legion of 10,000 men won’t be able to achieve a total number of received messages in their whole lifetime combined to what a single woman receives in a week.
Just give a thought to what that means, it is the same on dating apps; on Tinder they can get 50 matches in a row.
- Because of point 2, it means that most women don’t really need dating apps to have suitors, they just need a FB or Instagram account, which means.... that most of those women who use dating apps are, either totally extremely ugly or... abnormally picky:
Think about it, they receive tons of messages on facebook, they receive tons of attention in gym and so on, tons of texting from male friends (usually “friends”) and yet they can’t find “the one” on their own out of all this and still need an extra help from a dating app to find him? Let’s assume that she is so unlucky and 95% of these men are sh***y and below her standards, the remaining 5% are still in the hundreds.
- The main reason why you don’t get a second date from those you meet via dating app is because of the above, you are just a man out of hundreds, and they keep dropping one after one, chasing perfection exponentially (and the sex ratio on dating apps is maybe 10 men to 1 woman).
Btw most of these women remain single and you find them again on the same dating app after years, so there’s something seriously wrong despite this abundance of choices that they have (which men never have).
So yeah, that’s the reality of dating apps.
I'm totally with you on the male to female ratio imbalance and I get that they're getting way more messages than men but I disagree that they're extremely ugly. Most of the ones I've seen (if their pics can be believed) are extremely attractive. Maybe I just have low standards but I doubt it. Also, I suspect that many of these women, despite swearing they're looking for a real relationship and are not into hookups, aren't being entirely truthful since I'm pretty sure they've been hooking up with someone during the time they've been on these apps... just not me.
As well, you didn't really address the male perspective. Even if these women are picky, there are obviously certain men (again, if they can be believed) that are successful with them so what sets them apart from me or anyone else?
And I think I know why all my relationships came from real life... on dating apps, the women who were attracted to me ended up being disappointed when we met because they were probably expecting someone else, since online dating doesn't take into account things like personality, facial expressions, body language, vocal intonation etc. The women I've met in real life who were attracted to me couldn't have been disappointed because that was their first time seeing me so they had no point of reference to compare me to. So yes, they liked me for me but it's also possible that if they had met me online first and still been attracted to that person, they might not have been that interested anymore once they saw me in person. Just a theory though.
I don’t disagree with anything you said.
Ok, but in that case, why would extremely ugly women be getting that much attention from men (even though, like I said, the majority are very attractive)? Or were you just playing devil's advocate? I couldn't tell.
Also, the question still remains about what other men are doing that I'm not since these women are obviously choosing someone to be with (oftentimes more than just one) and since we're talking about probably hundreds, maybe thousands, of women, that means hundreds or thousands of men are successful at it. And there are lots of men who are having success multiple times with multiple women so I don't get how that works unless I'm just not attractive enough or I'm consistently saying the wrong thing all the time, which isn't plausible.
The_Face_of_Boo
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03 May 2020, 4:29 pm
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but not necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 May 2020, 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
03 May 2020, 4:58 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
That's kind of true about Instagram... I have noticed quite a few of those on Tinder but not so much on other apps like Facebook Dating.
However, I keep hearing and reading about constant online dating success stories from both sexes so, again, either they're lying or there's a big inexplicable difference between those people and me. I was once at a workplace function years ago and this guy whom I had never met was bragging about how much success he had with dating apps, claiming that he hooked up with a new person almost every week. I was curious so I asked him how he managed that and the gist of it was he said "I say hi, let's hook up and they say ok". I responded that that seemed like it would be difficult for most people and the guy next to me whom he was talking to said "Yeah but just look at him" and laughed, referring to how attractive he was.
This irritated me quite a bit and made me conclude that I must not be attractive enough but the reality is, a static picture of an attractive face and some crappy pick up line really shouldn't be sufficient to get that many women to hook up with you in two seconds flat. The way I see it, if that kind of low effort is being rewarded, there has to be some other reason for it. I mean, consider all the books and videos out there about picking up women... all of them claim that there's this whole complex system to attracting women to you. I don't believe any of them say anything about saying "hey, let's hook up" on a dating site, when the other person doesn't even know who the hell you are. I'm fairly certain if I tried that, it would never work.
03 May 2020, 5:12 pm
jimmy m wrote:
O.K., if you have been on dating sites for ten years and no success, I would change to something else.
If you hold a job and earn a living, then I would say that you should be able to find a mate.
But you need to change your perspective. Today many modern women date for romance and love. But in distant years past, that was not always the case. It was to find a match to get married and raise children. Romantic love was not always the prime consideration. Watch the film "Fiddler on the Roof", it will give you a different perspective of marriage.
I suspect most Aspies need someone skilled in the art of matchmaking. This might be your parents or relatives, extrovert friends or maybe even an official matchmaker.
So if your goal is to find a woman who would like to become your wife and the two of you raise a family, then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Perhaps you need to expand your horizon and consider other places, countries, civilizations, cultures that still retain the old world philosophy.
If you hold a job and earn a living, then I would say that you should be able to find a mate.
But you need to change your perspective. Today many modern women date for romance and love. But in distant years past, that was not always the case. It was to find a match to get married and raise children. Romantic love was not always the prime consideration. Watch the film "Fiddler on the Roof", it will give you a different perspective of marriage.
I suspect most Aspies need someone skilled in the art of matchmaking. This might be your parents or relatives, extrovert friends or maybe even an official matchmaker.
So if your goal is to find a woman who would like to become your wife and the two of you raise a family, then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Perhaps you need to expand your horizon and consider other places, countries, civilizations, cultures that still retain the old world philosophy.
Thanks for your input but I've seen Fiddler on the Roof dozens of times, it's one of my favorite films of all time. However I'm not actually looking for marriage right now, more like casual dating that will hopefully lead to a relationship at some point. I really don't think that AS figures at all into online dating since it's just static pictures and idle chatter that appears as nothing more than text on a screen- no facial expressions, body language, vocal intonation, nothing. It should be pretty difficult to mess that up so consistently and yet here I am.
The_Face_of_Boo
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03 May 2020, 6:26 pm
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
That's kind of true about Instagram... I have noticed quite a few of those on Tinder but not so much on other apps like Facebook Dating.
However, I keep hearing and reading about constant online dating success stories from both sexes so, again, either they're lying or there's a big inexplicable difference between those people and me. I was once at a workplace function years ago and this guy whom I had never met was bragging about how much success he had with dating apps, claiming that he hooked up with a new person almost every week. I was curious so I asked him how he managed that and the gist of it was he said "I say hi, let's hook up and they say ok". I responded that that seemed like it would be difficult for most people and the guy next to me whom he was talking to said "Yeah but just look at him" and laughed, referring to how attractive he was.
This irritated me quite a bit and made me conclude that I must not be attractive enough but the reality is, a static picture of an attractive face and some crappy pick up line really shouldn't be sufficient to get that many women to hook up with you in two seconds flat. The way I see it, if that kind of low effort is being rewarded, there has to be some other reason for it. I mean, consider all the books and videos out there about picking up women... all of them claim that there's this whole complex system to attracting women to you. I don't believe any of them say anything about saying "hey, let's hook up" on a dating site, when the other person doesn't even know who the hell you are. I'm fairly certain if I tried that, it would never work.
The guy probably isn’t lying if he’s very handsome; I once experimented with a fake pic of a male model and I confirm it too.
It is true, looks is the most important factor.
03 May 2020, 7:29 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
That's kind of true about Instagram... I have noticed quite a few of those on Tinder but not so much on other apps like Facebook Dating.
However, I keep hearing and reading about constant online dating success stories from both sexes so, again, either they're lying or there's a big inexplicable difference between those people and me. I was once at a workplace function years ago and this guy whom I had never met was bragging about how much success he had with dating apps, claiming that he hooked up with a new person almost every week. I was curious so I asked him how he managed that and the gist of it was he said "I say hi, let's hook up and they say ok". I responded that that seemed like it would be difficult for most people and the guy next to me whom he was talking to said "Yeah but just look at him" and laughed, referring to how attractive he was.
This irritated me quite a bit and made me conclude that I must not be attractive enough but the reality is, a static picture of an attractive face and some crappy pick up line really shouldn't be sufficient to get that many women to hook up with you in two seconds flat. The way I see it, if that kind of low effort is being rewarded, there has to be some other reason for it. I mean, consider all the books and videos out there about picking up women... all of them claim that there's this whole complex system to attracting women to you. I don't believe any of them say anything about saying "hey, let's hook up" on a dating site, when the other person doesn't even know who the hell you are. I'm fairly certain if I tried that, it would never work.
The guy probably isn’t lying if he’s very handsome; I once experimented with a fake pic of a male model and I confirm it too.
It is true, looks is the most important factor.
Ok, since I've got nothing better to do, I've posted a few pics of myself to try and sort this out. Maybe I'm not the 'best' looking dude in the world but if it's based almost solely on looks and not much else, then it shouldn't be that difficult for me. I'm sure a lot of men who are successful aren't exactly models either.
And yes, most of them are solo selfies... I'm pretty sure that's allowed. Most of the men's pics I've seen are solo selfies as well.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
03 May 2020, 10:04 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
That's kind of true about Instagram... I have noticed quite a few of those on Tinder but not so much on other apps like Facebook Dating.
However, I keep hearing and reading about constant online dating success stories from both sexes so, again, either they're lying or there's a big inexplicable difference between those people and me. I was once at a workplace function years ago and this guy whom I had never met was bragging about how much success he had with dating apps, claiming that he hooked up with a new person almost every week. I was curious so I asked him how he managed that and the gist of it was he said "I say hi, let's hook up and they say ok". I responded that that seemed like it would be difficult for most people and the guy next to me whom he was talking to said "Yeah but just look at him" and laughed, referring to how attractive he was.
This irritated me quite a bit and made me conclude that I must not be attractive enough but the reality is, a static picture of an attractive face and some crappy pick up line really shouldn't be sufficient to get that many women to hook up with you in two seconds flat. The way I see it, if that kind of low effort is being rewarded, there has to be some other reason for it. I mean, consider all the books and videos out there about picking up women... all of them claim that there's this whole complex system to attracting women to you. I don't believe any of them say anything about saying "hey, let's hook up" on a dating site, when the other person doesn't even know who the hell you are. I'm fairly certain if I tried that, it would never work.
The guy probably isn’t lying if he’s very handsome; I once experimented with a fake pic of a male model and I confirm it too.
It is true, looks is the most important factor.
Additionally, men who look like models aren't in the majority and yet if there's hundreds of men who are successful, wouldn't that mean that there's hundreds of male model-types on these apps and they're the primary ones all these women are going for? That's unlikely, as is the odds that the guy I mentioned is hooking up straight away without the woman wanting to meet in person first, which is normally the case. He could be anyone, why would they trust him so quickly... because he's attractive? How do they even know his pics are real? They could be as fake as the one you posted to experiment with.
Also, I'm assuming most of these women are lying about wanting a relationship and aren't interested in one-night stands or f**k bois because those are seemingly the types that get the best results. Therefore, attempting to give these women what they say they want is a waste of time and will just end in rejection.
If you think I'm overthinking this, I'm not... it's everyone else who's underthinking it and dismissing it as "just life" when there's a massive logical imbalance here.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
04 May 2020, 11:21 am
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
GammaRayBob wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I didn't say that all women on dating app are ugly, I said they are either this OR extremely picky.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
Yes, they do eventually choose someone, but necessarily someone they meet via online dating, I suspect most don't.
A lot of those very attractive women actually use dating apps just to get more followers on Instagram (and generate more money, it's business).
Tinder actually allows to link your insta photos to bio for this very same reason (beautiful women attract more male buyers = profit for tinder, while these women get more followers = profit for them) ; I think Tinder even pays instagram models/influencers for that.
That's kind of true about Instagram... I have noticed quite a few of those on Tinder but not so much on other apps like Facebook Dating.
However, I keep hearing and reading about constant online dating success stories from both sexes so, again, either they're lying or there's a big inexplicable difference between those people and me. I was once at a workplace function years ago and this guy whom I had never met was bragging about how much success he had with dating apps, claiming that he hooked up with a new person almost every week. I was curious so I asked him how he managed that and the gist of it was he said "I say hi, let's hook up and they say ok". I responded that that seemed like it would be difficult for most people and the guy next to me whom he was talking to said "Yeah but just look at him" and laughed, referring to how attractive he was.
This irritated me quite a bit and made me conclude that I must not be attractive enough but the reality is, a static picture of an attractive face and some crappy pick up line really shouldn't be sufficient to get that many women to hook up with you in two seconds flat. The way I see it, if that kind of low effort is being rewarded, there has to be some other reason for it. I mean, consider all the books and videos out there about picking up women... all of them claim that there's this whole complex system to attracting women to you. I don't believe any of them say anything about saying "hey, let's hook up" on a dating site, when the other person doesn't even know who the hell you are. I'm fairly certain if I tried that, it would never work.
The guy probably isn’t lying if he’s very handsome; I once experimented with a fake pic of a male model and I confirm it too.
It is true, looks is the most important factor.
Ok, since I've got nothing better to do, I've posted a few pics of myself to try and sort this out. Maybe I'm not the 'best' looking dude in the world but if it's based almost solely on looks and not much else, then it shouldn't be that difficult for me. I'm sure a lot of men who are successful aren't exactly models either.
And yes, most of them are solo selfies... I'm pretty sure that's allowed. Most of the men's pics I've seen are solo selfies as well.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_ ... =648851253
All links are broken (or private).
