How do you decompress in evenings?

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I'm 38y old Aspie, have a job and two kids (3y neurotypical, 6y Aspie). Typically days are tiring due to work, but the really difficult part is evenings. When I come home, the kids run around screaming and fighting all the time, so I just get some food and drag time until the kids go to sleep at around 9pm. Typically by then I'm already exhausted due to sensory overload, so after putting them in bed just pour myself a glass of whiskey and spend the rest of evening randomly surfing web, with few more drinks during that. I have been doing this self-medication for last 10 years.
The whiskey helps in the evenings, I can really feel my brain releasing tension sip by sip, to go from like a tense muscle to a peaceful sea. But in the mornings I feel not well slept and hangover I need to find an alternative evening decompression method.
Please tell how do YOU decompress during evenings?

I'm a single parent of three kids between the ages of 2 and 7 (the oldest also has autism, like me). I have them half the time.
I put them to bed at 8:00 PM. On weekends I might let the older two stay up until 9:00 for our Friday movie night, but most of the time they are in their rooms by 8:00 after our routine (pajamas, toothbrush, story).
After they are in bed, I might do homework/study (depending on if I am taking a class - which I took a break from this last spring semester, but will be resuming over the summer). If I'm not doing work, I watch a TV show, play a video game, or read a book. Sometimes I drink wine or beer, but I try to limit my intake to no more than three times a week.

I've actually got a thought on this based on what my work-life balance has been lately (hint - it's almost all work).

I've been taking a couple chewable men's vitamins per day, I keep B 100 complex around in case I need it, and additionally I have a few lion's mane supplements that I take when work is frying my brain. One of the ones I've personally really liked lately is Neuro Regen by Primal Herb. It has both lions mane and some other neuro-cognitive enhancers but also has sulphoraphane when is an anti-oxidant / anti-inflammatory.

My only recommendation on the whiskey - it can potentially mess up your sleep and alcohol can also increase inflammation. Everyone's biology with that sort of thing is different of course so it might still net positive for you, just that if you can think of an alternative like vitamins, meditation, etc. that might be the way to shift and maybe keep the alcohol for the weekend.

The other thing, which it's a more difficult thing to talk about with most people since it's still quite taboo regardless of how the science is changing, occasional small doses (ie. microdoses) of psychedelics can help if someone doesn't have hereditary disposition to schizophrenia or certain kinds of color-blindness. This last part is an area where I really have to hope our culture changes it's attitudes because moderate doses are a lot like a system flush and reboot and it's akin to long-term stress levels getting reset to zero.

I spend a few hours out in the yard working on the lawn and flowering shrubs.
Most years I only have time to work on the flowers I like best.

Now that I'm home more I've been working on filling the bare patches in the lawn and giving long neglected plants some help.

Hit bowls instead of kids.

I am married with a teenage son (neurotypical,)

before all this lockdown occured one of my husbands friends would usually come in the evenings and have a beer with him while i sit and watch tv to wind down
I am a bus driver so dealling with people all day made me tired and so i sometimes fell asleep on the chair or went to bed early

me and my husband cuddle up on the chair too and sometimes put a film on

I like to walk around my garden and do little bits of things here and there. I will also noodle around on my banjo. Or read.

But I no longer have any children in the home. When I did have children and working full time, I think I just fell exhausted into bed. No need for any sleep aids.

Great, a big thank you all!!
this has been very useful!

I don't have children fortunately so it's easier for me. Usually when I get home I eat some snacks and then do some necessary household stuff for around 20 min so it's out of the way, then I lie on my bed. I might either just lie there or if I have some more energy left listen to/watch something on youtube for example or read stuff on my phone. Sometimes after a couple of hours, around 9 pm I feel energy again and feel like getting up and doing something I actually like. Some days I stay in bed until bedtime when I just get up to brush my teeth. Some days I'm feeling weirdly energized and can even go for a run after I get home. I think I remember there are phases in my life like weeks where I have more energy left in the evenings, but I don't really know how to evaluate those memories. I never understood how people could just come home from work and immediately be surrounded by other people (family) again without having to retrieve to be alone for an hour minimum.

I usually either read or watch tv or sometimes an ASMR relaxation video on youtube. I sometimes have a glass of wine or something if I feel particularly tense (like muscle pain tense), but usually make a decaf coffee or herbal tea - I've found that any kind of "special" drink helps me relax some, even if it isn't alcoholic. And I have found that making it inconvenient to get a refill of wine keeps me from going for a second glass. If you are lazy like me, that may be an idea.

And I dim all the lights and put in earbuds or earplugs...decreasing sensory simuli really helps as well.

I also try to remember to do some stretches before bed. That seems to help me fall asleep a bit faster and wake up feeling better? And when my brain just won't turn off, I make lists - to do lists, idea lists, packing lists, whatever it is swirling in my mind.

Maybe try incremental changes in routine, so your body and mind can acclimate and accept the new way you wind down? When I try to change my routine too drastically or quickly, I have a very hard time sleeping.