Lack of self awareness= lack of masking?

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This thought has come through looking at my ADOS 2 report, and there being several things that were observed that I wasn't aware of . If you're not aware why would you see the need to adjust/mask your behaviour?

1)Answered questions but provided few leads for the assessor
2)Didn't include many non-routine events
3) speech-little inflexion and musicality,increases in volume when passionate about a topic.
4) In demonstrating task descriptive gestures had little definition
5) Exaggerated quality to emphatic and instructional gestures
6) Not much reciprocal communication
7)No curiosity in the examiner. Didn't ask for more information when given some obvious verbal prompts.
Throughout assessment qualities of social responses were awkward at times
9)Social overtures were mainly related to own interests

I think my life was much the same. I had no idea how to script or mask, because I had no idea what I was doing wrong.

I hear about the scripts and rules that other autistic people memorise, and I'm totally shocked that there were unwritten rules. I was totally oblivious all my life, and now I couldn't care less to learn them.

Yes. I feel like this is quite possible.

taken years to realize intricasies of subtlties of human conversation. still not great but a work in progress . but still trying . Not easy process , i feel

I think people can sometimes mask themselves without being very aware of it. Sometimes I've caught myself acting in a way that seems designed to make me look normal, though I can't recall any examples clearly.

I remember telling somebody I was on the spectrum, and their immediate response was "crikey, you hide it well!" I was surprised because I'd always thought I was just being myself with a bit of gloss here and there.

I like no.9 on your list - "Social overtures were mainly related to own interests." I find it almost impossible to make social overtures about anything else but my own interest. All this "how's your wife and kids?" stuff is just a theory to me, I can never remember to do it and even when I do remember, I can barely muster the enthusiasm to bother with it, and I'd feel rather fake if I did bother. I rely heavily on others to volunteer stuff about their own lives, and on overlapping interests to keep us from boring each other to death. I once read that without common interest and purpose, people can't relate to each other and will soon fight or separate. No wonder I'm picky about who I hang out with, and no wonder so few people beat a path to my door.

In my own case, it's from the need for pride.

Only pride gave me a bit motivation to be 'self-aware' by trying not to look like a fool (whether or not I had any form of awareness) AND the choice not to mask at the same time.

Pride tells me to keep up the image AND it also tells me I'm above the 'wrongs' because I'm an exception -- an idea contrary to reality.

I still don't know where I get it from, but it had long past served me.



Otherwise, I have no real social motivation to mask.


No social interest to speak of other than the whims of curiosity and openness.
But none of these actually gave me a motivation to keep any image let alone mask.

If anything, any real interest involving social interaction goes on the opposite direction.
Where pride and walking on eggshells can quickly become unnecessary.
Unless any agenda is involved, which is even still non-existent at this point...

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I would call it lack of self-consciousness (which is generally a good thing) rather than lack of self-awareness (which is negative and seemingly inappropriate because it implies not knowing oneself).