I don't feel autistic enough

Post Reply New Topic

I'm sorry you're struggling with this - I went through something similar but because of different reasons (the first time I was able to get counseling through my college the counselor 'diagnosed' me after having a few sessions and I asked for a more formal evaluation; still, it was never official). I felt kind of like I wanted to be in autistic spaces (like this forum) but was worried I was an imposter. I personally sought out a professional diagnosis but I don't think everyone should feel that way. Since you've been diagnosed I don't think you should over-analyze whether you are actually autistic/have Asperger's, but I know that's easier said than done. For example, I have a great adeptness for sarcasm (although I can sometimes be literal when other people use it) and I enjoy humor which a lot of people might say autistic people don't 'get' comedy. I don't have a scientific brain (at least it never has shown up for me) and I studied English literature and writing in college despite hearing that autistic people are more STEM-oriented. I just wanted to give those personal examples because I hope it can help you realize that autism is quite different for everyone. Another example - I've never dated (despite wanting to) and I thought maybe that's a common problem for autistic women/men but I've found that a lot of people with autism have a variety of dating experiences; i.e., we are not all the same, even socially!
Finally, as CarlM wrote, it's common for women/girls with autism to learn to mask traits at a young age because a lot of social behaviors associated with autism aren't 'acceptable' for girls and therefore we learn to adapt to what is expected of us. I behaved poorly in school until I was about 9-10 (3rd, 4th grade) and all of the sudden I had adjusted my behavior so that by the time I was in high school I had a reputation for being a so called 'goody-two-shoes.'

Regardless of personal experience, you shouldn't hold yourself to some standard of being 'autistic enough.' I hope you find some peace on this issue, but you have my support

Asperger syndrome doesn't requires you having additional autistic comorbids. You are mentally different enough for having trouble with bodylanguage, behaviour and emotional connections. I don't have noticeable autistic comorbids as well.

_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!

Although I got the Asperger's dx over a year ago I go through phases of doubt as to whether I really am or not. I'll admit a lot of it stems from comparing myself to other members here .

Just want to reinforce what everyone else is saying really.

If you don’t have every symptom that other people are reporting then that does not mean you are not autistic.

If you don’t think you have achieved as much as other people then that does not mean you are a failure.

I relate well to the definition of Asperger's (Aspie) but not the definition of Autism. It is a shame that they merged the two definitions together. I have learned to cope with most problems that the condition produces. I use my great strengths to overcome my great weaknesses.

In general, I have minimal sensory issues. But I am affected by florescent lighting. It cause me severe ocular migraines.

I relate to both 'extremes' of both spectrum labels and yet cannot relate to both presentations either.
Nonetheless, I'm still formally qualify.

I cannot relate because I don't react the same way with the same circumstances.
Nor do relate because I don't have the same circumstances to start with.


In my opinion, even to a point of observation of autism -- traits, preferences and behaviours themselves could be outright meaningless. Those factors are but indicators at best, the same logic as to a disruptive child is more likely be diagnosed and labelled based on those factors than someone who isn't, despite having the same case or being more severe.

There's just something that whatever autism truly is, is that none of these factors could ever hope to reach it.
I've found mine, I've reached mine and graduated from levels of label works within my own inner works.


Whatever may be the reason who were diagnosed in the first place isn't simply about identifying with the label in it -- but to see said label as a form of reference, a first step for support and self-knowledge.

Identification, in my opinion, is completely optional and something that can be considered to keep or not to keep.
Just like one choses whether they are autistic or an aspie, or someone with autism or aspergers.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I concur with the extremes theory. I am the hypersensitive and expressive ASD type, but my ASD-like BFF is the hyposensitive and non expressive ASD type. I am a sensation seeker and out in the world and have meltdowns. She is a sensation avoider and tightly controls her environment and has no (visible) meltdowns. I am positive that she has them on the inside. I can see her body tense up, I've seen her pick at her skin or some other tick - but she'll say she doesn't feel anything and that she's not. All types.

Personally, I'm not quite sure how to describe the Autism Spectrum. I've long felt that AS/HFA can be described as a not disabled - yet not able enough dichotomy - that is that "never-never land of sorts!"