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Whale_Tuune
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02 Jul 2020, 9:01 am

Does anyone else get afraid of being prejudiced or politically incorrect? Due to a combination of OCD and ASD traits, I think I've said and done insensitive things in the past. This causes me to ruminate a lot, and get even more tense and awkward around minorities.

I need to break this cycle. It really sucks. :T


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 9:13 am

You can’t please the world.....

These days, there are folks who look for offense hiding like needles in a haystack.



Karamazov
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02 Jul 2020, 9:20 am

Just tell them that picking you up on every single off-the-cuff comment or witticism is discrimination against the neurodivergent community. :mrgreen:

And that they need to check their neurological privilege :twisted:

(Or, seriously now, just find a way to accept that you’re going to offend every person you know throughout your life at least once, and that the decent folks will either let it slide, or forgive you after getting over their initial irritation.)



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 9:23 am

Most “minorities” I encounter relate to me as a person, rather than as a white person.

Once we can all do this, the world will be a better place.



Bradleigh
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02 Jul 2020, 9:29 am

I also tend to get tense around minorities. For all my talk about being progressive and stuff, my introverted nature makes me have fewer experience with people like me let alone those who don't look like me. I think that the trick is to teach yourself not to care so much that might accidentally offend someone so much, which is admittedly pretty difficult when you have something like OCD. Just remember that they are just people too, like everyone else you interact with.

As for somehow coming across as politically correct, I am not sure how that works. Do you do something like use certain slang around minorities or something?


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 9:38 am

That’s why people of different ethnicities should hang out with each other.

Before I started hanging out with black people, I had erroneous ideas about them individually, and as a collective.

Much of racism is borne of a sense of “mystery” and of “ignorance” (lack of knowledge) of the actualities of different races and ethnic groups. Especially in situations of “real life.”



Karamazov
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02 Jul 2020, 9:45 am

^ Yeah, I had the same experience when I met Muslim lads and lasses at university.

I had a whole variety of preconceived notions (not negative as such, but stereotyping nonetheless) which were contradicted by the reality.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 9:48 am

Contrary to popular belief, the strong tendency is for the children of immigrants to assimilate quite well with the culture of the “new country.” This causes much conflict within immigrant families.



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02 Jul 2020, 10:02 am

I live in a world full of people who don't give a damn about politically correct labels.

Anyone can learn politically correct ways of saying things, but that's nothing when one cannot practice what they preach.
Even less mattered if one is too insistent on politically correct terms, one emphasizes over the bigger picture of things.

I'd say find another ways of conveying respect and honor.
It doesn't always had to be politically correct, conforming or polite in some cases.


In my point of view, being articulate does not equate one's character or integrity.

:lol: Knowledge, perhaps a practice of tolerance...
Or a huge show off of one's "moral superiority".


If it helps...
Just throw the talks of labels away, start with something utmost basic -- as a human.

Prioritize matters at your own discretion -- if you think learning their cultures and way of seeing and doing things is just a bonus or the point of interaction in the first place.


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naturalplastic
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02 Jul 2020, 11:04 am

I do wish I knew more about sports because if I did it would be a LOT easier to make small talk with Black male coworkers. But I just cant get into following sports enough to hold up my end of a conversation about it.

Since you, the OP, are female, thats probably not an issue.

Just dont talk about race as a topic and you will be probably be okay around aquaintences who are minority.



ASPartOfMe
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02 Jul 2020, 12:10 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Does anyone else get afraid of being prejudiced or politically incorrect? Due to a combination of OCD and ASD traits, I think I've said and done insensitive things in the past. This causes me to ruminate a lot, and get even more tense and awkward around minorities.

I need to break this cycle. It really sucks. :T

In today world this is a problem even for NT’s never mind autistic people, especially at universities.

For what it is worth in my limited experience it is white “woke” people that are more easily offended for minorities than minorities are. IMHO actual minorities have been victims enough discrimination and bigotry to put things in prospective, to move on quickly from microagressions.

The above advice is sound. Why one tries too hard not to make a mistake, one is more likely to make one. I say the above with full knowledge it is much easier said than done, especially for autistic people. When one is trying too hard not to sound racist one comes off as defensive, hiding their racism.

Off Topic
My niece goes to the same school as you. I hope you guys get back in class at some point


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Whale_Tuune
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02 Jul 2020, 3:23 pm

Have I mentioned what school I go to?


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HeroOfHyrule
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02 Jul 2020, 3:39 pm

I have intense social anxiety so I'm always afraid of offending people, whether what I say is deemed "politically incorrect" or not. I have learned to notice that, like other people have said, it's hard not to offend everyone at some point. Even my friends have gotten upset by things I've said. The good friends allow me to explain myself, or after their initial offense realize I either didn't mean things how they took it, or just was ignorant about that topic and am willing to learn. You really can't please everyone 24/7 and no matter how nice or careful you are someone's either going to be insecure about something and get upset, or purposely misconstrue what you say. It's not always the "offenders" fault that other people sometimes just want to start a problem.



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02 Jul 2020, 4:45 pm

You can't make everyone happy, but so long as you endeavour to be empathetic and learn from how people respond to what you say you'll probably be fine. Spending your life walking on eggshells probably won't prevent you from eventually saying something insensitive or uninformed but if you're usually decent you'll have goodwill that will help with how the comment is perceived.


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02 Jul 2020, 4:55 pm

People who Are truly Fully Healthy Human are always going to remember
You by How You Make Them Feel; Making People Feel Good Feels
Good, for People Who Are Fully Healthy Humans too; the More one
Practices it the Better one Gets; It's Art and Never A Science Alone;
'Common Sense', Dictates It's Not a Good Idea to Discuss
Politics and Religion With Folks in 'The Real World';
But of course, the Challenge is always coming
Up with something to say; the Weather
Works Fine; It's A Beautiful Day;
Small Talk is About Being
Just Positive And
Brightening up the
Warm And Cozy Oxytocin Feelings
of Social Life; Commonly, This is an Issue on
the Autism Spectrum; Not Fully Feeling the Warm
and Fuzzies; and Not Understanding what's behind all
The Small Talk; It's The Feelings that count most for those
Who are Capable
of Feeling them
And Spend a Life
Exercising Social Empathic
Muscles to Help Others Feel Better.
Even Science Shows that Every Gift Like
this Given Without Expectation of Return in
Giving Provides Greater Levels of Happiness in Life
For Months; but only for those Who have the Love Muscles to FeeL it.
It's a Life long Art
And if You Get Good
at it; Some People at
least, will practically View You as LoVE iNcarnate;
But Only For those Who Actually Feel the Light of
Life In Deed of Feelings..:)

In Short, Be Kind And Nice
And For Those Who Are
Equally And Even More
Human, The Reward Is Naturally
Human LoVE iN Really Connecting in Feelings;

Usually, i save my Human Deeper Connections for Offline;
Online is a Place Where More often Folks who Aren't Very Social 'Hide';
Or Abuse Others for they feel no Potential Consequences for Being Rude or Worse...

People who are Capable
of Feeling Humanity Do Not do that.

I've Found A Few Handfuls Who Are Very Nice Online, Who Truly Make A Good Faith
Effort With Everyone They Meet and Greet; So Beautiful, indeed, a Bit like Heaven online too..:)


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02 Jul 2020, 5:33 pm

I'm an artist, and I started worrying about the way I depict characters in the animated films I make.

There's no way to get it right.

If you put in any ethnicity/gender, you run the danger of stereotyping. If you deliberately work against it, you run the danger of the character being merely superficially of that ethnicity/gender. The film Alien was long hailed as feminist for depicting a woman as action hero. But recently, the film has been criticized, because that female action hero is basically just a man, played by a woman, and she's lacking "female traits".

Either way I'm doing it wrong, because as the white male that I am, I am always appropriating. After all, how can I pretend to create character who's life experience I can't know?

If I decide to not show any ethnicity/gender other than my own, I'm excluding people.

So... The problem is that what I depict is not only judged by what's there, but also by what I omit, i.e., by what's not there.

.... So... I try to be responsible etc. But I'm aware that whatever I do - or don't - I'm wrong.
Knowing that you're wrong gives you some freedom back. All you need to do is abandon all hope, and try to not be too much of an as*hole.


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