Does therapy work?

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Every time I’ve had a therapist they couldn’t relate to me on a personal level or misread what I was saying. I’d rather just use coping skills that I already know than listen to a bunch of preaching about how to deal with my problems.

The pandemic has stressed me out but I know what to do. I was belittled by various counselors for many years. Do you think therapy is counterproductive?

The first time I tried therapy, I learned some basics but couldn't break through my inability to notice emotions.
The second time, the therapy was actually harmful.
The third time I tried therapy, it worked.

There were some things about the third therapy. One of them was a clearly pronounced goal that I proposed and she accepted ("if at any time I could think a bit and then know my feelings, I would consider my therapy a success" - at that time I doubted it was possible). I had to start Freud-like, with dreams and earliest memories because my emotions were heavily censored. This therapist identified AS in me, which was the missing piece of the puzzle of myself.
It was also a lot of hard work from my side.

The few times I tried therapy they actually made things worse, except for the last one where I saw a clinical psychologist who specializes in Aspergers. He was able to help me realize I was depressed **not** because I had a "broken brain" that needed antidepressants, but because I was a round peg in a square-hold world. He helped me understand why coworkers tended to treat me poorly, and figure out some things to try socially instead so they stopped mistreating me for being different.

In other words, when therapy was actually about recognizing that I'm put together differently than most other people and need practical solutions and real-world-based understanding of the people around me, it was an amazing success. That was years ago, and I still use the social tools this guy taught me when I'm at work. And I've not been bullied at work since then.

It kind of does and kind of doesnt. We aspies tend to be more closed off than NTs when it comes to personal issues, or at least I know I am, which is why therapy (CBT) never worked for me during the set course. After the course had ended (in failure) though I was able to use some of the techniques they taught me in my own time, with no pressure or expectations put upon me. Thats where I found some success.

Not sure about other types of therapy as ive never done them myself, but im gonna go out on a limb and say It all depends on you. If you are willing to be totally open to a stranger it may help. At the very least youll learn some coping skills you can implement in your own time though.

A counselor correctly told me that "counseling can help"

Someone told me that "counselors, what do they know?". (Correct)

Counseling, just like everything else, either:. Helps, hurts, both or neither.

And if it "helps", is it worth the time energy and money?

Saying "counseling can help", is like saying "you need to eat or you will drop dead" (correct)

However everyone is going to drop dead, regardless of what they eat

Furthermore, it doesn't justify McDonald's nutrition or Clif house prices

Sometimes, poisoned, expensive, unhealthful, unsanitary, allergic

"Counseling can help" is correct but too vague.
and misleading

I have had some seriously horrid experiences with therapy. I did learn some useful coping mechanisms from one therapist, but he also abused me. I’m glad to know and use the tools, but the price was extremely high.

One old scammer therapist taught me how to be abusive to family and friends and I now I cannot stop. Another young therapist told me to just to the gym and alternate upper/lower body on different days, said our therapy is useless because I cannot even have a conversation, told me to read books about Autism, to tell what therapy I should get and he gave me three options 1. Psychotherapy 2. Coping skills 3. He would teach me social skills. He also told me I have to decide to change and unless I do, our therapy is useless, so I quit as it was indeed useless.

Another queer psychiatrist gave me an SSRI which made me have more fights with people and made me less sexual and sociable and got me fired from jobs and relationships with family ruined due to increasing melt downs.

A CBT therapist was kind of useful and did not do any damage, just encouraged me to keep doing CBT and to keep trying at life.

I blank out and cannot recall my life to the therapist so I present as constricted but normal person. So it’s useless. Although I did like having the support and hope of working at life.

Does therapy work?

The strange thing about therapy (Counselling) is it just sits there and lets you do the work.

Yet somehow this works well?

Strange!

Sometimes. Therapists, despite being professionals, are just humans in the end, so a lot depends on the chemistry between the therapist and the patient. If they don't "click" at all, then it's less likely to work out.

For me, therapy doesn't do what it's designed to do. I don't share my innermost thoughts with my therapist at all, but it does give me someone to talk to. Since I don't have anyone other than my wife to just talk to on a regular basis, it's kind of nice to have another person to do that with.

It did for me, but I was lucky and have great therapists.It takes time, there is no quick fix for emotional problems.
The best therapist had a child on the spectrum so she totally got me.
Now my therapy is by phone and I really like that.I’m not distracted by things in the office or tired from the drive.

I have therapists who have helped and some who didn't. A good therapist in my opinion should listen to you without judgement and provide thoughtful advice. I find therapy only works if a) you take their advice and b) they are a good listener.

The best therapist I had would let me talk and never cut me off to tell me how they think I feel or to predict the end of the story. They let me finish every story, even if I was ranting and would provide me with advice and their thoughts at the end. They clearly saw people as individuals and didn't jump to assumptions or conclusions without fact. The advice they provided was solid and they were open to me researching their school of thought and other resources.

The worst therapists I had compared me to other clients, talked about themselves, or complained about their job. I also find with autism and other related neurological conditions bad therapists will lump clients with these conditions together and form their own generalizations about the condition. With bad therapists I was never able to to talk too much about myself or explain my point of view without being cut off with a story about another client who supposedly had it worse or some weird made-up theories about mental health conditions.

The last therapist I saw was awful...he refused to believe anything I told him. He never believed how anxiety and discrimination affected my life and instead blamed almost everything on my "too technical/literal high-functioning autistic thinking" without any good advice.

Depends on the individual seeking therapy, the therapist and the problem.

most of my life has been in the therapist's chair. they saved me from offing myself as they were a pressure relief valve.

I was in therapy twice, and had vastly different experiences. My first time, the therapist was an extremely bright guy, but it was a disaster. His rather rigid ideas about who and what were important came down like an iron curtain across each session. I found myself editing my statements to avoid his disaproval, rather than telling him what was actually on my mind. I was coming off of some traumatic experiences that I felt was behind some of my issues; he didn't think so and would hem and haw, cut me off or even mock me a bit when I tried to bring them up. I began to get anxious about his hour each week, which isn't the way it's supposed to work. I needed therapy for my therapy!

My group therapist said he does not get paid what he should based on his credentials which were PHD, MD and decades of group therapy experience, that health insurance does not pay therapists, that I deserve credit for being a cash payer (my insurance required him to call them to ask for a ten sessions disbursement so I did not bother the second time around), that he is at the top of his career being 70 years old and intends to die in the therapists' chair, that he is an Italian guy and so he was good with women he implied, that him feeling sadistic is an indicator of a patient being pathetic, that he had to be very gentle with me and another male patient and take great care not to offend us with criticism, that if you do 15 years of group therapy then you are just getting started, told me not to 'be snarky' to another patient after I started to speak, had another member repeat that I am not good for the group, then when I yelled at the guy to stop because he wouldn't stop and it was bothering me, he called it a 'cock fight' between two males (which it wasn't).. I quit the group many years ago, but I am still affected by it!