Having a rough week

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On monday I almost get scammed over the phone. One of those things that in hindsight should have been obviously fake. But they provided just enough details that it seemed plausible, especially given how they lined up with things they couldn't have known. Preying on my anxiety and everything and making implied threats. I panicked at the time and transferred my money to my paypal for fear they could take it out of my bank account somehow, which was bs. This coincided with when I needed to make my monthly credit card payment. So I had no money in my account to pay that bc it was still being transfered to my paypal (it takes a few days if the transfer puts your account below a certain threshold). So the auto-pay for my credit card sent my account into a deficit. I had to ask my very understanding mother to bail me out (it wasn't for very much thank f*cking god). But this whole thing was just massively humiliating and brought me || this close to harming myself after not doing it for months.

And now today. I'm taking my housemate practice driving. Bc they don't and have never had a license. So I let them drive us into town. They're doing fine. We have gone practice driving several times before. I let them do a little parking lot driving because they'd done it a little before. Bc I wanted them to practice it so I won't be anxious about them doing it in the future. They drive up on the curb once. "It's no big deal, these things happen" I tell myself. But then f*cking later, they're backing out of a parking spot and they scrape against one of the cars parked next to us. I freak out. The scrape is noticeable on both vehicles. They are not on my insurance. Nobody saw it. I know what the right, legal thing to do is. Which is to wait for the other person to come out so we can exchange information and go through that whole dance. Or I could at least have left a note so they could contact me.
But you know what I did? I drove off. I had my friend get in the passenger seat and I drove us away. Nobody saw. I feel horrible. But I canNOT handle that. I'm barely hanging on emotionally already going into today. I am not prepared to have that conversation with the owner of that car. I am not prepared to have that conversation with the insurance company. I am not prepared to lie and say I was the one who did it. I am not prepared to say that I was letting someone not on the insurance plan drive the car. I am not prepared to explain any of this to anyone. I am not prepared financially. I am NOT willing to let anyone bail me out again a second time in one week.
So now I feel awful. I know it was wrong. But I'm not going to go back on it. I don't have the luxury. I don't even know if I'm going to tell my gf I live with bc I do not want to give her more reason to think less of me. And I don't want her to think I'm too stupid to take my housemate practice driving again without this sort of sh*t happening. Bc then that task would fall to her, and she has much less time to do that than I do.
So it's just a matter of how many lies I want to tell. And how much less I want people to think of me. And I really, really want to c*t myself because--"That doesn't accomplish anything"--What the f**k do you think I think it accomplishes that it does not accomplish? There's nothing I can do to set things right that I am willing or able to do but I'm still not even allowed to punish myself. I'm too anxious to seek reassurance from anyone in real life. They'll be pissed at me and I'll feel miserable. Or they'll patronize me and I'll want to c*t myself. So now here I am rambling on the internet. Fishing for sympathy. Or fishing for condemnation. Do whatever you want. Just know that if you sympathize there is a very high chance I will take it as me being patronized. Bc people would rather patronize me than say how much less they think of me. People are worried I'll c*t myself if they're pissed at me, so maybe I can incentivize honesty by c*tting myself if I think they're patronizing me. But haha that's manipulative and awful. So I'll just sit here and take judgment and try really, really hard to not make myself suffer some consequences.

I get your predicament but it sounds like you're being a bit harsh on yourself over a few things that you could chalk up to experience.

In hindsight you're probably right.
I just prefer to err on the side of being too hard on myself.
Being hard on myself is also a better way of showing I care.