What would you do? (Potential Trigger Warning)

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I recently met this guy via a dating app and was talking to him for about two weeks. He's also on the spectrum and we seemed to be getting along ok.

However, the other day I googled his name, I am an expert at finding people, a proper sleuth. Honestly I should be a detective, I am really good at it. I wasn't expecting to find much, maybe a couple of cat photos or something. However, what I found was NOT very nice.

It turns out this guy was arrested last year for sending indecent photos to someone he believed was a 12 year old girl, and inciting her to sexual conduct. Turns out 'she' was an undercover cop.

He tells me he was 'depressed' and 'addicted to porn' at the time etc. I have been depressed, I have been in some really bad messes in my life but I did not go online and commit child sex offences. He says he has 'gotten help' etc etc, but can someone like that ever be helped?. I fear he would do it again if given the chance, this goes DEEP down, it is a fetish, it is an attraction, and it is VILE. I have been involved in discussions that landed up discussing the death penalty for repeat child sex offenders, so how can I possibly get involved with someone like this?.

He was handed a suspended jail sentence, given a sexual harm prevention order and placed on the sex offenders register for 10 years each. I do not know what restrictions were imposed on him under this order, should he even be using dating apps? I don't know.

Why was an undercover cop on him anyway? Did someone tip them off? Just because he got done for this offence doesn't mean he did not commit more that were not discovered.

If that had not been a cop, he would have stolen that poor child's life.

My ex husband also had a porn addiction, and as bad as it was, he didn't go online and nonce kids.

This guy wants to keep talking to me, but when I think about him now I think about my little cousin, about kids in my family and what they would think if they found out.

I am actually a bisexual female who has never had chance to explore that side of me, I have tried but women are just impossible to date for me. I find it difficult to relate to some women anyway, so finding anything beyond that has been impossible. I 'came out' a few months ago, I am proud of who I am, I just wish I could explore it a bit more. I have talked to women online, but never actually dated a woman. My inner feeling is I should explore this side of me a bit more now.

What should I say to him? Obviously I feel this cannot go any further. I have to consider everything involved, including my family who have been through enough as a result of my choice of intimate partners.

I have had two really disastrous relationships in the past, I guess I just dodged another one.

My main concern is my family, if they found out it would not be very good, I am all for giving people chances but I think I have to draw the line here, it is too much.

I wouldn’t get involved with him.

Your detective work paid off.

I would run like hell and block him from here to high heavens.

You asked what to say to him I would be honest. I'd probably say, "I have dealt with an ex that had a porn addiction, I hope you have gotten help for your own sake as well as the sake of other children you continue to get help. I must be honest with you I can not move beyond this to pursue a relationship with you. Knowing you pursued a 12 year old child how can I ever trust you around the children in my life!?"
I know you mentioned your main worry would be your family but maybe you should worry for yourself as well. I know I can be very blind to red flags, kinda blind to certain behavior, forgiving to a fault. It's doesn't sound like a good start to a healthy future relationship. I think this is also a sign of lots of drama if you don't end things.
Real love is selfless it makes you want to be a better person. It's being supportive & understanding of each others personal needs. Its also truthful as well a caring.

Btw I'm bisexual as well it seems you would like to pursue that side of yourself. I don't get along with the majority of women, but there are exceptions. Usually they are pretty laid back with similar interests, nerdy in the right areas. Some are very feminine others punk kinda style but feminine/androgynous, country tomgirls but feminine as well, etc.
Being bisexual doesn't mean you like all women just like you don't like all men. It's obviously a very personal thing from person to person.

Can you still be aroused around him and have sex with him? Serious question.

I like to see the best in other people, give them the benefit of the doubt and know that many are able to see the error of their ways and change them.

Unfortunately this is a different kettle of fish.

Indecent conduct towards anyone else is a huge red flag.
I could not be with this person.
Doubly so as the victim was (apparently) a child.

Your ex-husband rubbing one out to porn is fairly benign, but indecently dealing with someone this guy thinks is a 12 year old is inexcusable.

If it was me I would terminate the relationship with a letter describing my feelings and concerns, ask the person to not contact me, and strongly suggest that they seek mental health therapy for their problem.

The ball is in your court Miserylovescompany, but there is no way I could be in a relationship with somebody like this. Your safety and the safety of your family is paramount.

I’m honestly not sure why you need advice with this. He’s a sex offender ffs. Block him and move on.

You've only been talking to that guy a couple weeks. I don't know if you had ever met up with him or given out your address but if you have not, you do not need to say anything to him. People get ghosted on dating sites all the time. Just block him & make a mental note to keep doing searches before meeting anyone online. That said I personally would not judge him too harshly just yet because we do not know all the details about the situation & the state of his mental health at the time. I've done some things in my past due to serious mental issues that I hated myself for & I've seriously considered doing some horrible things that I never did. However I worked on myself a lot in various ways sense then including getting on different psych meds. In some ways I'm not the same person I was then. If I would of been seriously interested in the person before finding that out OP, I would ask for details & I would try to find as much information about it as I can online. I would also ask him for more in depth information about his mental stuff & what he's doing to work on himself. I'm NOT trying to be a d!ck OP, the title of this thread is What would you do. I get why you & LOTS of others would be majorly concerned & I totally respect your decision to dump him. I like your SN BTW, miserylovescompany. I relate to that myself which is probably why I'd be more lenient with him than most, I haven't been in that situation but I know what it's like when you feel like your losing control of yourself.