Not interested in dating a guy who works to much on his arms

Page 1 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,238
Location: Near London United Kingdom

09 Sep 2020, 8:08 am

In my last place of employment there was a young man working in the same place as I was and he was 5ft7 and 182 lbs. When he told me he weighed 182 pounds, I said, "That's rather a lot for a chap of your height!"

He took his top off and we could see where all the weight was situated - he had massive arms, and I assume legs to match, and a torso to be proud of (no homo). All the female heads turned, and one of them even said his physique was 'beautiful'!

I was talking about this once on the health forums on wrong planet and a poster said something along the lines of “women are not really interested in dating a guy who spends that much time working on there arms, they would rather date a boy next door type”


Do you think it’s true that women are not interested in going on a date with a guy who works out that much?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 43,385
Location: Stendec

09 Sep 2020, 8:14 am

Obsession with physical appearance is not healthy.


_________________
Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature, nor any ultimate evaluation of
human nature beyond that which we project onto others, individuals should only be judged or defined
by their actions and choices, and not by what we imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,238
Location: Near London United Kingdom

09 Sep 2020, 8:18 am

Fnord wrote:
Obsession with physical appearance is not healthy.


Are you reffering to me or the guy who works out to much?



AcidicBlue3127
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 42
Location: Texas

09 Sep 2020, 1:55 pm

This is all down to personal preference. My sister is not attracted to guys who are ripped, but I LOVE muscles!

To each their own.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 43,385
Location: Stendec

09 Sep 2020, 1:59 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Obsession with physical appearance is not healthy.
Are you referring to me or the guy who works out to much?
I am referring to anybody.


_________________
Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature, nor any ultimate evaluation of
human nature beyond that which we project onto others, individuals should only be judged or defined
by their actions and choices, and not by what we imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,795
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Sep 2020, 2:03 pm

Many women don’t like guys vain enough to work constantly on their muscles.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 43,385
Location: Stendec

09 Sep 2020, 2:13 pm

A man who knows how to invest his wealth is a better catch than a man who only knows how to work on his looks.

Physical appearance is a depreciating asset.  Wise investments are appreciating assets.  50 years from now, a man can either be ugly and poor or ugly and wealthy -- all else being equal, which do you think would be better able to provide a home, food, clothing, and medical care?


_________________
Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature, nor any ultimate evaluation of
human nature beyond that which we project onto others, individuals should only be judged or defined
by their actions and choices, and not by what we imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,994
Location: Oz

09 Sep 2020, 2:38 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it’s true that women are not interested in going on a date with a guy who works out that much?


I don't socialise much, but most women seem to agree that they aren't into the muscle scene.
Just my pennies worth. ;)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,994
Location: Oz

09 Sep 2020, 2:41 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Many women don’t like guys vain enough to work constantly on their muscles.


It does seem to be rather narcissistic, imo.

Having said that,
my abs are a thing of beauty. Want to see, ladies, err, and men? :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,994
Location: Oz

09 Sep 2020, 2:44 pm

Fnord wrote:
A man who knows how to invest his wealth is a better catch than a man who only knows how to work on his looks.

Physical appearance is a depreciating asset.  Wise investments are appreciating assets.  50 years from now, a man can either be ugly and poor or ugly and wealthy -- all else being equal, which do you think would be better able to provide a home, food, clothing, and medical care?


It is interesting how you zipped right to the "End Game" of life. :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,238
Location: Near London United Kingdom

09 Sep 2020, 3:01 pm

There was a recent thread here and the poll said most people prefer a normal body shape.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,795
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Sep 2020, 3:07 pm

Most people probably prefer a “normal” body type.

But body type is not the only consideration when it comes to desiring a relationship with someone.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,238
Location: Near London United Kingdom

09 Sep 2020, 3:23 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Most people probably prefer a “normal” body type.

But body type is not the only consideration when it comes to desiring a relationship with someone.



What would you classify as a normal body type?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 43,385
Location: Stendec

09 Sep 2020, 3:48 pm

Pepe wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A man who knows how to invest his wealth is a better catch than a man who only knows how to work on his looks.  Physical appearance is a depreciating asset.  Wise investments are appreciating assets.  50 years from now, a man can either be ugly and poor or ugly and wealthy -- all else being equal, which do you think would be better able to provide a home, food, clothing, and medical care?
It is interesting how you zipped right to the "End Game" of life.
Not and "End Game" issue; I was reminded of an alleged dialog between a vain, gold-digging woman and a wealthy mature man...

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush.  I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl.  I'm articulate and classy.  I'm not from New York.  I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year.  I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board?  Any wives?  Could you send me some tips?  I dated a business man who makes average around 200 to 250.  But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock.  250,000 won't get me to Central Park West.  I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius.  So what is she doing right?  How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out?  Give me specifics -- bars, restaurants, gyms

– What are you looking for in a mate?  Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain?  I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys.  I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village.  What's the story there?

– Jobs I should look out for?  Everyone knows -- lawyer, investment banker, doctor.  How much do those guys really make?  And where do they hang out?  Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend?  I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults -- I'm putting myself out there in an honest way.  Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it.  I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them -- in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810


THE ANSWER:

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma.  I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year.  That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.  Here's why.  Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money.  Fine, simple.  But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity ... in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset.  Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!  Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year.  Then the fade begins in earnest.  By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold... hence the rub... marriage.  It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease.  In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following.  If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out.  It's as simple as that.  So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets.  So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy.  I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.  Classic "pump and dump".

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.


The Craigslist ad (which was posted to its New York boards) may have been on the up-and-up: in an 8 October 2007 New York Times article, a spokesperson for the online community said "... it does look as if the post was made sincerely."  After the solicitation was publicized in the media, the anonymous poster removed it from Craigslist.

A response entitled "The Answer" which was circulated in e-mail and on blogs and message boards along with a text copy of the Craigslist post apparently began as an e-mail rejoinder penned by another anonymous party.  This component has been attributed to four different men identified as working in the financial field in New York.  One of them, an investment banker with J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., was fingered more often than the others as the most likely author.  His firm, however, denied that the banker so named (who did indeed work for that entity) did anything more than forward the message to friends, an act that inserted his signature block into the fray and caused some to take him for the originator of the piece.


_________________
Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature, nor any ultimate evaluation of
human nature beyond that which we project onto others, individuals should only be judged or defined
by their actions and choices, and not by what we imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,784

09 Sep 2020, 6:38 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Many women don’t like guys vain enough to work constantly on their muscles.


There's truth in this. Women admire the physique but the first thing they think is that the guy is probably vain or they don't want a hundred girls looking at him everywhere they go. If the woman is ripped too, that might work. Sort of like when a woman won't date a man who is "too" good-looking. Lots of woman don't want other women flirting with their date. About the "boy next store" look? Well, the boy that used to live next door to me preferred other boys...so. I don't where they are going with that one. :?



kitten_caboodle
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2020
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 207

09 Sep 2020, 6:54 pm

I'm sorry to hear you feel so badly about your body type. Personally I don't like men with that much muscle or men who are that concerned with their physical appearance. I'd rather they put their energy into their personality or their interests, talents and skills. I would feel pressured to keep up and go to the gym and have a perfect body too, plus muscles aren't particularly nice to hug or touch in my opinion. I'm wondering if you have ever heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder? It's a condition where people are very preoccupied with the appearances or perceived flaws of their body. I hope it's OK that I mentionedit but I've seen you post the same type of question before, and it seems to really bother you if you can't compare to other men. Take care and I hope you have a good night!