Treatment of High Functioning Vs Lower Functioning on W.P

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Teach51
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29 Sep 2020, 3:28 am

My feeling is that there is a disparity between the acceptance and validation of the friends here who are HFA and those who are lower functioning.
I have seen posts that are judgemental of those who are struggling, even suggestions that they are coddled or, heaven forbid, not trying hard enough if they struggle with the challenging problems they deal with on a daily basis. To my knowledge this is primarily an autism support site for all, not just an Aspergers support site. I would like to begin a discussion that would promote an all-embracing platform where all voices are equally validated and welcomed. Since joining this forum I have witnessed friends who are valiantly struggling to cope be silenced rather than supported. How can we empower our friends who struggle to voice their battles here? How can we avoid silencing them and find ways to encourage them ? They need our support and validation most of all.
Please submit positive suggestions.


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29 Sep 2020, 3:41 am

I don't talk about my personal life on WP,they would carve you up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I talk about my personal life on AF


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Teach51
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29 Sep 2020, 4:04 am

I have heard this from other members also. Do you have any suggestion as to how to rectify this? The moment you feel the need to filter your posts for fear of "being carved up" it essentially ceases to be an effective support forum for you, no?


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29 Sep 2020, 5:42 am

Teach51 wrote:
I have heard this from other members also. Do you have any suggestion as to how to rectify this? The moment you feel the need to filter your posts for fear of "being carved up" it essentially ceases to be an effective support forum for you, no?



The only problem I have is with PPR, maybe news, never the lonely hearts forum. 8)


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29 Sep 2020, 5:47 am

I try to understand that some members here are unable or find it hard to do some things I can do (I'm high-functioning).


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cyberdad
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29 Sep 2020, 6:06 am

Teach51 wrote:
Since joining this forum I have witnessed friends who are valiantly struggling to cope be silenced rather than supported. How can we empower our friends who struggle to voice their battles here? How can we avoid silencing them and find ways to encourage them ? They need our support and validation most of all.
Please submit positive suggestions.


I didn't know there were any regular members who don't have Aspergers?

I remember BTNRR and Kingdomofrats (I loved both of them) who were proud of their classic autism but they left long ago.



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29 Sep 2020, 6:11 am

For a group of the socially inept, we don't do too badly, I think.
I haven't seen a lot of outright bullying or trolling - though I've seen a lot of mis-communications or misunderstandings leading to offence, often where none was intended.

It's hard to tell if this is worse for the lower functioning - as people don't usually advertise their functioning levels.
In my experience, when a poster has outright stated that they are struggling with something, most people are sympathetic and helpful.
The issues come when we aren't aware - as it's easy to carelessly make triggering remarks without knowing a person's struggles.



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29 Sep 2020, 6:12 am

I'm HFA but have other conditions that make having a job difficult and feel bad about how I'm told I'm 'coddled' by some on here cos I can't drive, get a job or leave home (I could leave home but mum doesn't want me to, she'd miss me too much)

I think we need to appreciate everyone has different struggles.

But also everyone has different ways to view autism so don't thrust the 'it's a disability' down everyone's throat.

Just focus on yourself! Or the nice NTs on here, just focus on your own family! (tbf I've never seen much in the way of 'coddling' talk from the NTs on here)



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29 Sep 2020, 6:18 am

MrsPeel wrote:
It's hard to tell if this is worse for the lower functioning - as people don't usually advertise their functioning levels.


That's precisely my point. Almost 99.9% of members posting right now come across as intellectually high functioning so the idea that some are "not aspergers" doesn't make sense to me


MrsPeel wrote:
In my experience, when a poster has outright stated that they are struggling with something, most people are sympathetic and helpful. .


That's also correct. I have seen certain posters (for whom dedication threads have been created) complain about not being supported and they have hundreds of members throwing their support so its weird where Teach gets this idea from that i) they are somehow low functioning and ii) they need more support?



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29 Sep 2020, 6:22 am

This may be related to the "typical" AS way of communicating, which is less about expressing sympathy and more about problem-solving.

If I say I have a personal problem:
Typical NT response: "I understand what you're saying, that must be so difficult!"
Typical AS response: "There's a solution to this, here's what you should do..."

Unfortunately, being told what to do by someone who knows very little of your personal circumstances and struggles can come across as unsympathetic and belittling.



Teach51
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29 Sep 2020, 6:36 am

cyberdad wrote:
Teach51 wrote:
Since joining this forum I have witnessed friends who are valiantly struggling to cope be silenced rather than supported. How can we empower our friends who struggle to voice their battles here? How can we avoid silencing them and find ways to encourage them ? They need our support and validation most of all.
Please submit positive suggestions.


I didn't know there were any regular members who don't have Aspergers?

I remember BTNRR and Kingdomofrats (I loved both of them) who were proud of their classic autism but they left long ago.


Perhaps they didn't feel comfortable here? It's not supposed to be solely an Aspergers forum.

Do you have any ideas how WP could be more welcoming and supportive to lower fuctioning members?


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29 Sep 2020, 6:43 am

For me it's hard to identify with the high fliers here ,but also those who are severely impaired. Clouding things even further is the schizoaffective dx I have. Both the Asperger's and sz/a have an impact on how I do.

How I do on the forum is not a reflection of how I do offline. Without the support I get I'd struggle to maintain what I would call a healthy,albeit rather basic,level of independence.

Cyberdad talks about most posters being 'intellectually high functioning' , but that doesn't mean they're necessarily good at coping with the day to day practicalities of life.


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Teach51
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29 Sep 2020, 6:48 am

cyberdad wrote:
MrsPeel wrote:
It's hard to tell if this is worse for the lower functioning - as people don't usually advertise their functioning levels.


That's precisely my point. Almost 99.9% of members posting right now come across as intellectually high functioning so the idea that some are "not aspergers" doesn't make sense to me


MrsPeel wrote:
In my experience, when a poster has outright stated that they are struggling with something, most people are sympathetic and helpful. .


That's also correct. I have seen certain posters (for whom dedication threads have been created) complain about not being supported and they have hundreds of members throwing their support so its weird where Teach gets this idea from that i) they are somehow low functioning and ii) they need more support?


I have been PMed by certain people who complained of the invalidation of their difficulties so not so weird. I also asked for positive suggestions, not debating whether my thread is legitimate or not. This thread has nothing to do with NT's. I have myself witnessed people who have shared their difficulties and have been brushed off as being weak and defeatist by other members. I am asking how we can improve on that reception.


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cyberdad
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29 Sep 2020, 6:48 am

Teach51 wrote:
Perhaps they didn't feel comfortable here? It's not supposed to be solely an Aspergers forum.

Do you have any ideas how WP could be more welcoming and supportive to lower fuctioning members?


We could create a sticky thread for folk who don't feel comfortable but then what would you call it?



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29 Sep 2020, 6:49 am

Teach51 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
MrsPeel wrote:
It's hard to tell if this is worse for the lower functioning - as people don't usually advertise their functioning levels.


That's precisely my point. Almost 99.9% of members posting right now come across as intellectually high functioning so the idea that some are "not aspergers" doesn't make sense to me


MrsPeel wrote:
In my experience, when a poster has outright stated that they are struggling with something, most people are sympathetic and helpful. .


That's also correct. I have seen certain posters (for whom dedication threads have been created) complain about not being supported and they have hundreds of members throwing their support so its weird where Teach gets this idea from that i) they are somehow low functioning and ii) they need more support?


I have been PMed by certain people who complained of the invalidation of their difficulties so not so weird. I also asked for positive suggestions, not debating whether my thread is legitimate or not. This thread has nothing to do with NT's. I have myself witnessed people who have shared their difficulties and have been brushed off as being weak and defeatist by other members. I am asking how we can improve on that reception.


Ahhh I see, thanks for the clarification Teach



Teach51
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29 Sep 2020, 6:51 am

firemonkey wrote:
For me it's hard to identify with the high fliers here ,but also those who are severely impaired. Clouding things even further is the schizoaffective dx I have. Both the Asperger's and sz/a have an impact on how I do.

How I do on the forum is not a reflection of how I do offline. Without the support I get I'd struggle to maintain what I would call a healthy,albeit rather basic,level of independence.

Cyberdad talks about most posters being 'intellectually high functioning' , but that doesn't mean they're necessarily good at coping with the day to day practicalities of life.



Yes firemonkey, this is precisely what I mean.


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