I also have almost no friends. I have always had horrible social skills. I have been treated badly by most people in my life, and have had numerous traumatic and abusive failed relationships. With friends, they either get tired of me or I get tired of them, and we just drift apart. Sometimes I feel like I am ugly, but other times I don't. I've had people tell me I'm pretty, beautiful, or cute on a number of occasions. Some people have called me ugly but mainly just bullies when I was in middle school. I am a "curvy" plus-sized lady, but this is because I enjoy food way too much. I strongly dislike most "healthy" foods, so I rarely eat them. The meds I take to control my severe depression/anxiety also make me really hungry and contribute to the weight gain. So being larger, I'm certainly not society's ideal standard of beautiful, at least not now.
I totally get how you feel. About two or three years ago I went through a bout of severe depression/panic attacks. It was so bad I literally wanted to die. It took over a year for me to get on the right meds and get straightened out. Now I feel really good and happy most of the time. The psychiatrist really helped me with therapy and meds. I still have all of the problems I did before, they just don't bother me much anymore.
I wanted to let you know there is help out there for you. Consider seeing a psychiatrist if you're not already. It can really help.
_________________
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum "(Don't let the bastards grind you down)"
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale
"I might be crazy but I ain't dumb"
Cooter, The Dukes of Hazzard