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sunshineck
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16 Oct 2020, 3:49 pm

It is it common for people to misunderstand what you are trying to say or articulate?

I find myself in those sorts of situations often and it is hard for me to understand as to why. A lot of it seems subjective and purely emotionally based when people misinterpret me.



ambernaut
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16 Oct 2020, 4:11 pm

Yes ! All the time! It is one of my biggest struggles.



Mountain Goat
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16 Oct 2020, 4:55 pm

Yes. Can relate.


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sunshineck
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16 Oct 2020, 5:23 pm

ambernaut wrote:
Yes ! All the time! It is one of my biggest struggles.


What do you do, if anything, to remedy it?



sunshineck
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16 Oct 2020, 5:24 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Yes. Can relate.


Do you find anything that helps?



AuroraBorealisGazer
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16 Oct 2020, 5:31 pm

sunshineck wrote:
It is it common for people to misunderstand what you are trying to say or articulate?

I find myself in those sorts of situations often and it is hard for me to understand as to why. A lot of it seems subjective and purely emotionally based when people misinterpret me.


Yes it happens to me a lot. I tend to speak quite literally and always try to use very clear language to avoid misunderstandings. Somehow people will assume my words have hidden meanings, when there are not :( .

Sometimes I struggle putting my feelings/thoughts into words so that might result in some of the misunderstandings. But in those instances I still have no motivation to speak in insinuations. I much prefer to say exactly what I'm thinking. It makes things easier.



Mountain Goat
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16 Oct 2020, 5:31 pm

Become a complete recluse? :P
I have no answers. Mum and I are on the same wavelength so no issues at home with my Mum, but others I can have the odd issue with.


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Jakki
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16 Oct 2020, 5:36 pm

Sometimes all you can do is hope your intention is not misunderstood . It is as if you are speaking a entirely different language. Usually people , I speak to , seem to understand my idioms , in the English language , Many people actually graduate from high school. With a very limited vocabulary. In the USA . Generally , but not always
People with a good education seem alittle more understanding of my own usage of language .

In real life have found often having to dumb down my language , which is another issue entirely , and you may not be able to get it right even then.. But generally with a little forethought , have been able to make myself understood.
People am most familiar with , are kind enough to ask the meaning of a word or 2. That they are not familiar with
, When I am going on about a topic .. When they do that, gives me pause, and I instantly rephrase my sentence.
Realizing that I needed to “consider my audience “ . Have had the same problem even here . Someone on the site was kind enough to give that little jewel of advise .


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malavois
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16 Oct 2020, 6:54 pm

CONSTANTLY. Every day. I wonder sometimes if it’s the underlying issue behind any problems I’ve ever had with other humans.



sunshineck
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16 Oct 2020, 9:55 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
sunshineck wrote:
It is it common for people to misunderstand what you are trying to say or articulate?

I find myself in those sorts of situations often and it is hard for me to understand as to why. A lot of it seems subjective and purely emotionally based when people misinterpret me.


Yes it happens to me a lot. I tend to speak quite literally and always try to use very clear language to avoid misunderstandings. Somehow people will assume my words have hidden meanings, when there are not :( .

Sometimes I struggle putting my feelings/thoughts into words so that might result in some of the misunderstandings. But in those instances I still have no motivation to speak in insinuations. I much prefer to say exactly what I'm thinking. It makes things easier.


That is exactly what happens!!i have zero motivation too so I usually leave.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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16 Oct 2020, 10:10 pm

^ I understand that. I've found a lot of the kinds of people that react this was about me are too hard to convince I meant it literally, so I don't try anymore. Now I try to figure out who those types are before I interact with them so I can avoid them. Now I just try to explain with the few people that matter or people in forced to interact with.



Clueless2017
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16 Oct 2020, 11:25 pm

On the topic of miscommunication, specifically between NTs and Aspies...Many times, I say something to my beloved (Aspie) husband, and he seems to hear something totally different...Immediately, he becomes defensive, and we begin to argue...At other times, he says something, and I later realized he meant to say something else...By the time i realise this, I am already offended by whatever he said...This miscommunication has caused many misunderstandings between us...This, in turn, has led to conflict to the extent that our marriage has been in jeopardy in the past...At times, my husband has concluded that i must be the one with the miscommunication issues, because he has witnessed some arguments between my parents and I...(I love my parents, and i am very close to them...But said closeness inevitably provokes conflict not at all related to any form of miscommunication)...In favor of my beloved (Aspie) husband, i should highlight his humility the many times he has acknowledged that i was right all along...I always tell him that i am NOT interested in winning an argument...What i really want is for our marriage to last...This topic reminds me of my favorite book "Le Petite Prince" who states "Language is the source of misunderstandings."...If these words hold true for the general population, how much more so in the case of a neuro-diverse marriage, like mine...For the record, i should clarify that i am considered by others to be a great communicator...Yet, in my limited experienced (since May of 2017) communicating with my beloved (Aspie) husband, good communication skills have NOT proven to be sufficient...One must also have the PATIENCE, the HEART, and the HUMILITY to be readily willing to 'fix' whatever damage one caused by the misunderstanding...Overtime, i have gradually gain the TRUST of my beloved (Aspie) husband to the extent that said misunderstandings have decreased...In recent times, my beloved (Aspie) husband does not wants my explanations...He says, "If you say so, I believe you"...I am so grateful to God for giving me such a PATIENT, HUMBLE, and GOOD-HEARTED MAN...I hope our story instills HOPE to those of you who struggle in your communication with your loved ones...Good night everyone... :heart: :heart: :heart:



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17 Oct 2020, 10:12 pm

Misunderstandings occur so often, for me, that the effort is usually not worth it. (Effort justification)

They don't pay attention when I am talking

They have bad hearing

They don't understand figurative language

They talk too much and too loud and there are too many of them

They act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention. Way too enthusiastic

They are judgmental ("cool", "sucks").

Dichotomous thinking.

"Can you" is a request, but just because you "can", doesn't mean you have to



sunshineck
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18 Oct 2020, 7:02 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Misunderstandings occur so often, for me, that the effort is usually not worth it. (Effort justification)

They don't pay attention when I am talking

They have bad hearing

They don't understand figurative language

They talk too much and too loud and there are too many of them

They act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention. Way too enthusiastic

They are judgmental ("cool", "sucks").

Dichotomous thinking.

"Can you" is a request, but just because you "can", doesn't mean you have to


Figurative language can be a head scratchers for me sometimes. I can be quite literal.



Mona Pereth
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20 Oct 2020, 12:26 am

Long before I was diagnosed with ASD, I knew that I was misunderstanding-prone. I would expect most autistic people to be misunderstanding-prone.

Years ago, one thing I decided was that I needed the people in my life to be people who understand and accept the fact that misunderstandings happen, and who are willing to take the time to resolve misunderstandings.

I cannot get along with people who believe that genuine misunderstandings are rare, and that most apparent misunderstandings are feigned for some nefarious purpose. Alas, there seem to be quite a few people whose life experience has led them to believe that.


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honeytoast
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20 Oct 2020, 12:31 am

allllll the tiiimmmeeeeeeeee


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