Okay, let's try a more constructive post

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adromedanblackhole
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16 Oct 2020, 10:01 pm

Since it seems like whenever I vent and give a disclaimer I'm not looking for advice, and I'm just looking to be acknowledged, heard, understood, I tend to get novels of life advice...

Let's try a more positive post.
I do generally believe that the direction of a person's thoughts is what primarily dictates their reality. In simplistic terms, a person who is always searching for the positive in any situation will generally be more successful and lead a happier life.

Yes. And 99.9% of humanity is unbearable to me and sometimes I seek solace from people who understand.

I like to start my day with a hypnosis recording I have of Marisa Peer. If unfamiliar, I would highly recommend giving her a listen. I also tend to make time in my day to listen to a recording of Christie Marie Sheldon - she tends to sooth my mood.

Additionally I really enjoy listening to music like this for roughly an hour of meditation:

When I'm really on top of this routine it makes dealing with the sharks of humanity somewhat more tolerable, but not much as they tend to take pleasure in bursting my bubble.



Pepe
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16 Oct 2020, 10:11 pm

adromedanblackhole wrote:
Since it seems like whenever I vent and give a disclaimer I'm not looking for advice, and I'm just looking to be acknowledged, heard, understood, I tend to get novels of life advice...


I am acknowledging your post here.
Existential verification completed. 8)

adromedanblackhole wrote:
When I'm really on top of this routine it makes dealing with the sharks of humanity somewhat more tolerable, but not much as they tend to take pleasure in bursting my bubble.


You have a bubble to burst? :scratch:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


cyberdad
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16 Oct 2020, 10:15 pm

adromedanblackhole wrote:
Additionally I really enjoy listening to music like this for roughly an hour of meditation:

When I'm really on top of this routine it makes dealing with the sharks of humanity somewhat more tolerable, but not much as they tend to take pleasure in bursting my bubble.


My daughter loves music and she feels calm and relaxed while music is playing. However the meditation stuff I'm still working on.



Pepe
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16 Oct 2020, 10:37 pm

cyberdad wrote:
My daughter loves music and she feels calm and relaxed while music is playing. However the meditation stuff I'm still working on.


I tried to get into transcendental meditation decades ago, but couldn't.
I used to think it had to do with the quantity of caffeine I used to take, which wouldn't have helped, but my ADD probably had more to do with it.

I am not sure severe ADD and meditation are compatible. :scratch:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


adromedanblackhole
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16 Oct 2020, 10:38 pm

cyberdad wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Additionally I really enjoy listening to music like this for roughly an hour of meditation:

When I'm really on top of this routine it makes dealing with the sharks of humanity somewhat more tolerable, but not much as they tend to take pleasure in bursting my bubble.


My daughter loves music and she feels calm and relaxed while music is playing. However the meditation stuff I'm still working on.

My heaven on earth is uninterrupted music like this. I listened to a 3 hour recording of something very similar. Keeps me in an overall uplifted state. It is also a good remedy for sensory overload I have found.



adromedanblackhole
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16 Oct 2020, 10:39 pm

Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
My daughter loves music and she feels calm and relaxed while music is playing. However the meditation stuff I'm still working on.


I tried to get into transcendental meditation decades ago, but couldn't.
I used to think it had to do with the quantity of caffeine I used to take, which wouldn't have helped, but my ADD probably had more to do with it.

I am not sure severe ADD and meditation are compatible. :scratch:

You're exactly the kind of person who would benefit most from meditation or hypnosis, which is really just a deeper level of meditation

Focused breathing too. Breath in on a count of 8, hold for a count of 4, breath out on a count of 10. This sort of thing. Because you've given your mind something to focus on and it's just counting and breathing it's a form of meditation.



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16 Oct 2020, 10:44 pm

adromedanblackhole wrote:
You're exactly the kind of person who would benefit most from meditation or hypnosis, which is really just a deeper level of meditation


I had a profound dissociative disorder that basically ducked up my life.
Dissociation is a hypnotic trance state.
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Pepe
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16 Oct 2020, 10:47 pm

adromedanblackhole wrote:
Focused breathing too. Breath in on a count of 8, hold for a count of 4, breath out on a count of 10. This sort of thing. Because you've given your mind something to focus on and it's just counting and breathing it's a form of meditation.


But, as I said, I have very bad ADD.
It makes it virtually impossible to focus on any one thing for an extended period of time.


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


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17 Oct 2020, 12:35 am

adromedanblackhole wrote:
I do generally believe that the direction of a person's thoughts is what primarily dictates their reality.


I agree with this. Case in point. My "reality" is that, back in high school, I was a lot happier than I am now. But if I were to say this to someone who knows me, they would not believe me. They would be like "wait a second, in high school you were bullied by all those kids and right now nobody bullies you". But I guess when I was bullied by kids in high school it didn't count because my happiness was all about courses and not about kids. But right now -- despite the fact that nobody bullies me -- it is still bad that they are not my friends since now my happiness is about how many friends I have. So in other words my reality changed based on how I *define* my happiness.

However, despite the fact that I know it, there isn't much I can do about it, because I can't change the definition of reality at will. Back in high school, I didn't have to sit myself down and find ways to convince myself that other people's opinion didn't matter. It simply didn't matter to begin with. Kind of like (either today or back then) I don't have to sit myself down and convince myself that it is okay that I can't play violin. I just happened not to care about it to begin with. But, once I do start to care about something -- like right now I care about friends -- convincing myself not to simply doesn't work. I feel like whoever says that they convinced themselves not to care about something are simply lying to themselves. And I don't want to be lying to myself, so yes I do care about friends and there is nothing I can do about it.

But it is still true that we define our reality. Because, like I pointed out, in high school my reality was different because my attitude was different. But maybe that is precisely the reason why changing the attitude is so hard. One definition of reality is that reality is something that can't change. You have different dreams every night, and thats why dreams are not reality. But you wake up to the same thing every day, so thats why it is reality (hey, maybe that is the real answer to the Cartesian question how do we know we are not sleeping?) So the fact that our attitude is the reality is tied together with the fact that our attitude does not change that easily. Where by attitude I don't mean a mood of the moment but set of goals. Is making friends one of my goals or not? The answer to that question took YEARS to change from no to yes. That's what made it "reality". And, this being the case, you can't just decide at will to change your goals or tell to yourself that some of them don't matter. Your "reality" is that they do -- which means you can't change it that quickly.

The only types of *constructive* advice I can give within this "reality" is

a) Push harder on whatever goals you feel you are failing on
b) If you happened to have more than one goal, focus on the ones you are better at
c) Some combination of a and b

Anything other than those two things would be self deception.



cyberdad
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17 Oct 2020, 12:40 am

Pepe wrote:
[
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


Interesting, hypnosis is actually promulgated by NLP practitioners as a motivational tool.



cyberdad
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17 Oct 2020, 12:43 am

adromedanblackhole wrote:
My heaven on earth is uninterrupted music like this. I listened to a 3 hour recording of something very similar. Keeps me in an overall uplifted state. It is also a good remedy for sensory overload I have found.


We gave our daughter a spotify account and she plays music virtually 7hrs per day....she now like the fine lady riding her cock horse to Banbury cross with music wherever she goes.



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17 Oct 2020, 12:45 am

cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
[
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


Interesting, hypnosis is actually promulgated by NLP practitioners as a motivational tool.


There is misinformation about hypnosis.
They say "you" can't be hypnotised into doing something you wouldn't normally do.
Total rubbish.

One of the factors to consider is contextual corruption,
And another is the degree people are susceptible to hypnosis.

Don't believe the bulldust of the establishment. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


cyberdad
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17 Oct 2020, 12:49 am

Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
[
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


Interesting, hypnosis is actually promulgated by NLP practitioners as a motivational tool.


There is misinformation about hypnosis.
They say "you" can't be hypnotised into doing something you wouldn't normally do.
Total rubbish.

One of the factors to consider is contextual corruption,
And another is the degree people are susceptible to hypnosis.

Don't believe the bulldust of the establishment. 8)


hypnosis is currently used to treat smoking and phobias



Pepe
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17 Oct 2020, 12:57 am

cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
[
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


Interesting, hypnosis is actually promulgated by NLP practitioners as a motivational tool.


There is misinformation about hypnosis.
They say "you" can't be hypnotised into doing something you wouldn't normally do.
Total rubbish.

One of the factors to consider is contextual corruption,
And another is the degree people are susceptible to hypnosis.

Don't believe the bulldust of the establishment. 8)


hypnosis is currently used to treat smoking and phobias


And Manchurian Candidates. ;)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


adromedanblackhole
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17 Oct 2020, 1:08 am

QFT wrote:
I agree with this. Case in point. My "reality" is that, back in high school, I was a lot happier than I am now. But if I were to say this to someone who knows me, they would not believe me. They would be like "wait a second, in high school you were bullied by all those kids and right now nobody bullies you". But I guess when I was bullied by kids in high school it didn't count because my happiness was all about courses and not about kids. But right now -- despite the fact that nobody bullies me -- it is still bad that they are not my friends since now my happiness is about how many friends I have. So in other words my reality changed based on how I *define* my happiness.

However, despite the fact that I know it, there isn't much I can do about it, because I can't change the definition of reality at will. Back in high school, I didn't have to sit myself down and find ways to convince myself that other people's opinion didn't matter. It simply didn't matter to begin with. Kind of like (either today or back then) I don't have to sit myself down and convince myself that it is okay that I can't play violin. I just happened not to care about it to begin with. But, once I do start to care about something -- like right now I care about friends -- convincing myself not to simply doesn't work. I feel like whoever says that they convinced themselves not to care about something are simply lying to themselves. And I don't want to be lying to myself, so yes I do care about friends and there is nothing I can do about it.

But it is still true that we define our reality. Because, like I pointed out, in high school my reality was different because my attitude was different. But maybe that is precisely the reason why changing the attitude is so hard. One definition of reality is that reality is something that can't change. You have different dreams every night, and thats why dreams are not reality. But you wake up to the same thing every day, so thats why it is reality (hey, maybe that is the real answer to the Cartesian question how do we know we are not sleeping?) So the fact that our attitude is the reality is tied together with the fact that our attitude does not change that easily. Where by attitude I don't mean a mood of the moment but set of goals. Is making friends one of my goals or not? The answer to that question took YEARS to change from no to yes. That's what made it "reality". And, this being the case, you can't just decide at will to change your goals or tell to yourself that some of them don't matter. Your "reality" is that they do -- which means you can't change it that quickly.

The only types of *constructive* advice I can give within this "reality" is

a) Push harder on whatever goals you feel you are failing on
b) If you happened to have more than one goal, focus on the ones you are better at
c) Some combination of a and b

Anything other than those two things would be self deception.

I understand how this feels. I absolutely would prefer to be legitimately liked and feel as though I have an abundance of friends who legitimately like or dare I say love me. My situation as a person who can be lumped into the Asperger's or High Functioning Autism pool wasn't something that was terribly noticeable until I returned to this country (USA) after adopting to an entirely different culture and finding it challenging to adjust back to life here. Growing up, I was a lovable weirdo. Don't get me wrong, people definitely had no idea what to think of me when they first met me - as a few people wrote in my senior yearbook - but I was more branded a highly intelligent eccentric. There were people in my life for whom I was largely a source of entertainment but who seemed to legitimately love me as a person. These were my friends who just accepted me as a beloved weirdo. This I am finding is impossible to find in adult life USA. People typically do not forge new and meaningful friendships past the age of 25, and usually from this point forward friends one once had start to fade away. You will matter to people inasmuch as you are a networking prospect who can help build this business. This is the beginning and end of the depth of this relationship. Only talk of pleasant things so that you can be perceived as being "on top" of your game so that other people will want to do business with you. It is horrifyingly empty.

I very much relate to the feeling of wanting to forge legitimate friendships. It would be nicer to be liked than to feel ostracized.

I'm intrigued by the idea that the basis to a person's experience of reality is the predominant thought patterns they keep alive by repeating and rethinking these thought patterns.

Probably the main difference between my high school self and now. Then because I believed I was lovable, I drew in a circle of people who really loved who I was as a person. Now I feel like it's dangerous being a real person, people have too often interpreted kindness for weakness and pounced on me. And there's an interplay between the attitude I'm feeding the world and what's getting reflected back to me.



adromedanblackhole
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17 Oct 2020, 1:10 am

Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
[
I am a little wary of anything to do with hypnosis, as a result.

I also have some "interesting" beliefs about the misuse of hypnosis. EEP! 8O


Interesting, hypnosis is actually promulgated by NLP practitioners as a motivational tool.


There is misinformation about hypnosis.
They say "you" can't be hypnotised into doing something you wouldn't normally do.
Total rubbish.

One of the factors to consider is contextual corruption,
And another is the degree people are susceptible to hypnosis.

Don't believe the bulldust of the establishment. 8)

Hypnosis as I've experienced is just a bit of a deeper guided meditation and the person leading the hypnosis is feeding your unconscious mind very affirming and positive statements. Nothing to really raise any eyebrows about.