Dylan the autist
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 13 Nov 2023
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: Republic of Ireland
13 Nov 2023, 4:01 pm
TatjanaErika wrote:
Hi,
I wonder if some of you have similar feelings related to making friends.
For me, it is almost impossible to have friends in my age group. Most of the girls despise me, or start being manipulative after some time. Even the girl whom I considered to be my best friend started to do very hurtful things to me after some time. And all the boys who approach me just seem to want se**al things
However, I really enjoy spending time with older people. Not a bit older, but people in their fifties and sixties, who could almost be my grandparents. Relating to them is so much easier, because many of them are really kind and protective towards me. Even for me, the communication is easier because I have always preferred old movies and books and I have used rather them to mimick behaviour, since that feels much more natural to me than the contemporary movies and behaviour displayed in them. I even think that I have more topics to talk about than with the people of my age. I have worked for an older couple (in their sixties) as a maid (cleaning and cooking for them) for some time as a part time job and they have become very good friends. I also used to have an online friend who was a fifty year old sir (I know, this could be dangerous but luckily he never said anything bad, we just talked about common interest and he has been giving me advices). When I was 17, I even fell in love with my parents' friend who was 55 at that time (of course I never told him, but my parents noticed it from my behaviour and they were very angry and disgusted). I have never felt something similar to someone my age. Generaly, most older people tolerate, even appreciate my quirks (they always say I am bright and ,,old fashioned in a good way" - I don't know how to translate this, but in my language it's a compliment) and their friendship and attention feels very warm and supportive.
Do you also have similar experiences? Or do you consider this bad and dangerous? Is it ok if I keep befriending people much older than me?
Of course I would like to try to have friends with aspies my age, but I don't know any of them in real life.
Thank you and have a nice day ☺️
I wonder if some of you have similar feelings related to making friends.
For me, it is almost impossible to have friends in my age group. Most of the girls despise me, or start being manipulative after some time. Even the girl whom I considered to be my best friend started to do very hurtful things to me after some time. And all the boys who approach me just seem to want se**al things
However, I really enjoy spending time with older people. Not a bit older, but people in their fifties and sixties, who could almost be my grandparents. Relating to them is so much easier, because many of them are really kind and protective towards me. Even for me, the communication is easier because I have always preferred old movies and books and I have used rather them to mimick behaviour, since that feels much more natural to me than the contemporary movies and behaviour displayed in them. I even think that I have more topics to talk about than with the people of my age. I have worked for an older couple (in their sixties) as a maid (cleaning and cooking for them) for some time as a part time job and they have become very good friends. I also used to have an online friend who was a fifty year old sir (I know, this could be dangerous but luckily he never said anything bad, we just talked about common interest and he has been giving me advices). When I was 17, I even fell in love with my parents' friend who was 55 at that time (of course I never told him, but my parents noticed it from my behaviour and they were very angry and disgusted). I have never felt something similar to someone my age. Generaly, most older people tolerate, even appreciate my quirks (they always say I am bright and ,,old fashioned in a good way" - I don't know how to translate this, but in my language it's a compliment) and their friendship and attention feels very warm and supportive.
Do you also have similar experiences? Or do you consider this bad and dangerous? Is it ok if I keep befriending people much older than me?
Of course I would like to try to have friends with aspies my age, but I don't know any of them in real life.
Thank you and have a nice day ☺️
I can absolutely relate to your experience, my only close friends are 68 and 51, I'm 23. These relationships luckily have been completely mutual and not at all exploitative but please be careful not to make the same mistake I did some older people can also take advantage of you if you're not careful, even if you never expect it. I think it's normal based on my experience, one of the reasons I'm on Wrong Planet is hopefully to make friends with people my own age because I know there's people out there I can relate to closer in age. I would be very careful about entering a romantic relationship with someone much older as there is a power dynamic involved in which you could be being exploited without knowing, hope this helps.
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