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KT67
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07 Nov 2020, 5:08 pm

I was diagnosed with asperger's as a kid.

I was told about it when I was 16.

When I do a test online to see if I'm autistic, it says 'maybe, speak to a healthcare professional as these results are borderline'.

When I describe 'symptoms' or characteristics of autism on here, unless it's a sensory thing I'm told 'that's not part of being autistic'. For eg, being a pedant or a social recluse or not 'missing' people or having specialist interests.

I find it so confusing.

I just want to be me and to be happy being me without the non-sensory, non-anxiety, non-dyspraxic aspects of being me. I do not care what it is called. I wish I had never been given a label for the bits of me that are just personality traits such as being an introvert or being a so-called 'pedant' or preferring studying to socialising.

I don't even struggle that much socially. I simply struggle with people who are very different to me or environments I'm not used to and was unknowingly blunt as a kid which always made people laugh (but surely that's part of being a kid?)



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07 Nov 2020, 5:18 pm

It is confusing isn't it. I mean... Well. How can one seperate traits from character? Some traits are definately traits but others are hard to seperate or impossible.

Or am I on the wrong tangent?


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07 Nov 2020, 5:21 pm

Depends. Are you talking about autism as a diagnosis, or autism as a neurotype? Very different things.

I'm quite confident that at least some of the symptoms of autism are not *directly* due to the autism, but due to how the autism interacts with the broader world. A lot of features (rocking back and forth, avoiding eye contact etc) are found in pretty much anyone who is subject to sufficient stress and anxiety. They may not be core features of autism *itself*.

Intense focused interests though, I definitely think that is part of the soul of autism. Probably sensory issues too. Maybe displaying body language differently (it's as hard for neurotypicals to read autistic body language is it is for autists to read neurotypical body language - the NT 'superpower' is probably just be them thinking other people are like them and nearly all the time being right). OTOH, 'autism' is a collection of different conditions that share similar enough presentation, so...


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KT67
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07 Nov 2020, 5:23 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
It is confusing isn't it. I mean... Well. How can one seperate traits from character? Some traits are definately traits but others are hard to seperate or impossible.

Or am I on the wrong tangent?


Yeah this is exactly it.

I accept almost all my character and only think I have problems in the way all non-narcissists think they have areas they ought to work on about themselves.



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07 Nov 2020, 5:29 pm

KT67 wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
It is confusing isn't it. I mean... Well. How can one seperate traits from character? Some traits are definately traits but others are hard to seperate or impossible.

Or am I on the wrong tangent?


Yeah this is exactly it.

I accept almost all my character and only think I have problems in the way all non-narcissists think they have areas they ought to work on about themselves.


I believe that narcists do not realize they need to change as they do not see themselves as being in the wrong when they are wrong.


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07 Nov 2020, 5:37 pm

The CDC's web page includes: The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) provides standardized criteria to help diagnose ASD.

If that clarifies things for you then you understand it better than I do. When I look at the Psychological Evaluation that said I met "criteria for a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)" I can sort of match parts of the evaluation up with things in CDC's excerpt of DSM-5...but I'd be hard-pressed to figure out if someone else met the criteria. I'd even be unsure if I did (I guess that's why I had to pay a psychologist).

The main thing I take away from the CDC's excerpt is that the criteria appears to assume, with respect to the specified behaviors, everyone should be alike but autistics are different.


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KT67
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07 Nov 2020, 5:56 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:

I believe that narcists do not realize they need to change as they do not see themselves as being in the wrong when they are wrong.


Exactly.

Healthy people know they have character flaws.

I only think I have the same amount as regular people. I don't think there is something especially broken about me.



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07 Nov 2020, 6:24 pm

I often get confused about who I am. All of my Aspie traits are very non-stereotypical and also very complex. I know you don't have to have all the stereotypes just to be autistic but it still makes me feel less Aspie than other Aspies.

I read somewhere that it is common for Aspies to lack autobiographical memory and instead are better at memorizing facts. I can memorize some facts to a certain extent just like most people, but memorizing facts has never been a strength of mine and is the main reason I failed some of my exams at school, especially in the classes where you needed to memorize facts (such as geography, history, science, maths and technology). But I have an excellent autobiographical memory, so good that I could write an autobiography of my life from 3 years onwards, and not just the events that happened but also the emotion, mood, atmosphere, of the particular time, if that makes sense. And I read in the same place that Aspies that do have an autobiographical memory have trouble remembering the emotional side of their memories. But I don't.

There are other things as well that make me question my diagnosis, like how social interaction interests me more than facts, how good I am at working as a team in the workplace, how natural it felt when I first met my (NT) boyfriend, and how good I am at imagining myself in other people's shoes. My theory of mind skills go deeper than I can explain to people here, and I don't seem to have any difficulties with being in a relationship with an NT guy. It just feels rather natural to me.

But I am most certainly not an NT. I've probably just got that broad female autism phenotype or whatever it's called, where my Aspie traits are not at all black and white. In fact all of my Aspie traits are very grey.


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07 Nov 2020, 9:57 pm

Autism is the collection of traits indicated by the diagnostic criteria for autism.

There are also stereotypes about autistic people and certain personality traits that autistic people share or often mention. Keep these things separate from the diagnostic criteria, and you shouldn't be confused.



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08 Nov 2020, 12:00 am

KT67 wrote:
I was diagnosed with asperger's as a kid.

I was told about it when I was 16.

When I do a test online to see if I'm autistic, it says 'maybe, speak to a healthcare professional as these results are borderline'.

When I describe 'symptoms' or characteristics of autism on here, unless it's a sensory thing I'm told 'that's not part of being autistic'. For eg, being a pedant or a social recluse or not 'missing' people or having specialist interests.

I find it so confusing.

I just want to be me and to be happy being me without the non-sensory, non-anxiety, non-dyspraxic aspects of being me. I do not care what it is called. I wish I had never been given a label for the bits of me that are just personality traits such as being an introvert or being a so-called 'pedant' or preferring studying to socialising.

I don't even struggle that much socially. I simply struggle with people who are very different to me or environments I'm not used to and was unknowingly blunt as a kid which always made people laugh (but surely that's part of being a kid?)
Hmm, You aren't really describing traits of autism. Like Plenty of people with autism aren't social recluses and miss people. And plenty of people without autism are both.

Well, IF you want to be happy being you without (parts of) you then you need to work on that. cause that's just not gonna happen. Also, dude no offense but if it were just personality traits you probably wouldn't be diagnosed.

and as far as what autism is it doesn't seem like anyone really knows. There's more misinformation out there than information. It presents in such a varied way that its'not very constant at all. so honestly. No clue. [/color]


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08 Nov 2020, 1:28 am

:lol: First and foremost, it's a diagnosis label with it's own list of qualifications via list of behaviors and traits.


But not even 'social deficits' can actually truly explain it.
In a more subjective and personalized sense, each autistic have different reasons for their 'social deficits'.
From discrimination via majority's poor autistic theory of mind, to low EQ and the classic autistic poor theory of mind.

Even this so-called 'body language dyslexia' itself had various described reasons -- from poor pattern recognition to bodily clumsiness to inattention.
Even alexithymia or 'emotional dyslexia' too -- ranged from trauma to lack of right vocabularies to just weirdness and perpetual overwhelm.
Even terms of daily living -- from straight ADHD to intellectual disability to things little to do with autism like menstrual cycles.
Language and communication? Other than the above -- from language learning disabilities to low VIQ to physical effects like apraxia of speech or poor hearing.

So do various learning disabilities and processing disorders, involved and manifested it seems...


There are many attempts of theories, none worked out or described the autistic experience or what autism IS 100% so far. :lol:
Because odds are that there is no 'one' autism -- or rather, autism isn't 'one'.


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KT67
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08 Nov 2020, 5:19 am

Pieplup wrote:

Also, dude no offense but if it were just personality traits you probably wouldn't be diagnosed.


I am happy being me.

Mum was eventually told to get a diagnosis cos I wouldn't cope in the large environment of secondary school.

And I have sensory issues.

There's no reason why an adult who thrives better in a large environment with lots of people is superior to someone who thrives better alone or with only a few people around him. Society is simply set up so secondary schools are full of as many pupils ('students' to be PC but they were only 11-16 in those days) as possible.



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08 Nov 2020, 3:55 pm

KT67 wrote:

When I describe 'symptoms' or characteristics of autism on here, unless it's a sensory thing I'm told 'that's not part of being autistic'. For eg, being a pedant or a social recluse or not 'missing' people or having specialist interests.



I don't even struggle that much socially. I simply struggle with people who are very different to me or environments I'm not used to and was unknowingly blunt as a kid which always made people laugh (but surely that's part of being a kid?)
These are all Autistic traits.

You have to remember that there is very little in Autism that is exclusive to Autism. Just because other kinds of people also do some of these things does not mean that they are not common in Autism or that your Autism is not the reason why you do them. What makes these traits specifically Autistic is not that you do them but it is the extremity and severity and frequency at which you do them that makes them Autistic. What makes you Autistic is that you do them frequently and severely enough that they impair your daily life.

Some of these things are also found in personality traits but that is very very different from having a neurology that is wired differently. It is important to understand the difference. It's like someone who has OCD. I might double check that I locked the car every time I park it. That is my personality. If I check the car lock 35 times because I cannot move from that spot until I do, that is OCD.


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09 Nov 2020, 8:53 am

Autism is simply a container of developmental disabilities caused by the brain not forming correctly.

Some people have some symptoms like ID as a result of this others do not, just like some people with COVID have a cold some do not. Symptoms vary in severity also.

That’s the easiest way to describe autism



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09 Nov 2020, 7:04 pm

KT67 wrote:
Pieplup wrote:
Also, dude no offense but if it were just personality traits you probably wouldn't be diagnosed.

Quote:
I am happy being me.

Mum was eventually told to get a diagnosis cos I wouldn't cope in the large environment of secondary school.

And I have sensory issues.

There's no reason why an adult who thrives better in a large environment with lots of people is superior to someone who thrives better alone or with only a few people around him.

What are you talking about? I don't see the relationship between what you are saying and what Pieplup said.

Quote:
Society is simply set up so secondary schools are full of as many pupils ('students' to be PC but they were only 11-16 in those days) as possible.

How is the word "students" more PC than "pupils"?



KT67
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09 Nov 2020, 7:17 pm

starkid wrote:
How is the word "students" more PC than "pupils"?


It's either an Americanism (fine for Yanks) or it's a term which when mum was growing up referred only to adults.

In my day it started at secondary.

It was a way of saying 'look we respect you young people, you are no longer children'... but someone under 16 IS a child. They even explicitly said that.