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Why is the sky blue today but was grey yesterday?

Human eyes and eyesight devolved itself overnight.

Why people asked sad people 'why so blue'?

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The person was sad because they'd walked under a ladder and a tin of paint fell on their head, covering them head to toe in blue paint.

Why don't snakes have legs?

Why peanut is called a peanut?

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Because you pee on it.

Why is my cat destroing my chair?

To make it more comfortable for her to sit in.

Which are smarter, dogs or cats?

It depends on an individual. Every brain counts so the one with more fleas wins.

What are magpies famous for?

For being a part of Magz's pie making battalion.


Why is everything looked like a nail when all you have is a hammer?

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Better to use nail clippers, they make a cleaner and less bloody job of trimming your nails.

Why do Americans call football, soccer?

Because originally it was played with an inflated sock instead of a ball.

How do you make artificial intelligence?

By feeding a computer food with artificial ingredients.

Why is it that we can tickle other people, and other people can tickle us, but we can't tickle ourselves?

Because if we could tickle ourselves Jello would start coming out of our ears

What happens if you mix chocolate with lasagna?

It makes wet dust.
Or, so he said.


When will it be ready?

Chocolate lasagna wet dust? Check the oven in thirty minutes.

Whom should I invite for a dinner?

Hannibal Lecter.

What type of curry should I have today?