What can I do to make a better impression on this woman?

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I ran into a woman I went out with for a short time right after high school, and I was just saying hi really, but she was all wanting to go out again and catch up, and seems really excited about it.

The thing is, I am 36 now, and feel I don't really have much to show. I still live with my parents, and I just lost my job on lay offs recently. My previous job before that lost because of covid back when covid started. This new job was just a seasonal one, which was expected to end by Christmas anyway, and I'm looking for a new one of course.

But I guess I just feel I don't have a lot to show to make an impression on her after all these years now. She is really goodlooking for her age still for example, and I feel like I am in over my head and she is out of my league.

Really goodlooking for age also because she is 11 years older than me but that also adds to me feeling pressured to make a big impression on her. So I was just wondering, how should I approach this do you think?

Thank you for any advice! I really appreciate it.

Get a better job and your own apartment.

Yes I can do that. It's just that she wants to meet up sooner than that, and I think I have to do that first before the time it will take to find a better job and apartment I think. So I am just wondering, what can I do until then?

Well sounds like there would be some catching up to do, before either one of you make a decision about getting back in a relationship. I mean I say meet her and don't lie about your situation, could be she's not quite as successful as you think either.

If she truly is out of your league so be it, its still worth catching up in case there is a spark there. If she wants to meet up soon if you put it off that could offend her or make her feel like your not interested so you may lose the opportunity altogether if you avoid meeting till you get an apartment for instance.

My boyfriend was living with some room-mates, sleeping on the couch when I met him and I was still living with my mom. As of now we have had our own apartment for a few years.

*disclaimer this is by no means professional advice just anecdotal.

Oh okay. I guess I just feel 36 and still living with parents is a bad impression, unless I am being hard on myself.

For some people maybe it would be a bad impression....but I mean in the end do you want a partner that will judge you on that? I guess i can understand the concern but to have any chance with her you will probably need to be honest. Like I cannot say how she'd judge that I just know I didn't care that my boyfriend was living on a couch when I met him and now we are making more of a life for us.

I mean my advice may be terrible, but I would say you should meet up with her and talk of things to see if you guys really connect, and if not well it was not meant to be. Like I mean if you had to entirely change yourself to get with said woman, its probably just not meant to be.

Just be who you are right now.

Put it this way. If you have to look good and have to have a good income etc, etc, etc, then if you do marry you will always have to look good and have a good income etc, etc, etc.

So date her as you are. If she is a decent woman, she will love you just the way you are. If she is one who will only date you if you have a decent income and look good etc, then run a mile!

A lot of people lost their job due to covid. This is a non-issue.
Being at your parent's place might also be seen as a covid consequence.
I'm not into lying, myself.




Crikey, mate. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?
*She* was the one who proposed seeing you again.
Are you thick, or are you boasting?



What do *you* think?
Rub the hotsy-totsy chickie babe in we single guys faces, why don't you?

If she doesn't ask, don't tell.
Talk about your stamp collection.
Focus on her, not you.

We are all assuming she is single.
Here is a question for the OP: Is she single?

Oh well it's just that she may be thinking badly that I lived at my parents place since she last saw me over 15 years ago pretty much, and not just do to covid this year.

Yeah she said she was single in a conversation so far.

Take your time and think about what you are saying. Autistic guys can appear honest and unjudgemental about themselves. And they shine. Make sure you express it when you don't like certain things if she talks about it, don't look at her and talk calmly when doing so. Focus on an object in front of you. Don't fidget then, except maybe slowly rubbing your table cup.

Find actors you like, do stuff they do in the mirror and choose your best bet

Relationship smarts 101:

1. At least 1-2 times per day be spontaneously offering her truthful compliments without her asking, make it more than her beauty, beautiful women dont feel they matter if others keep praising their superficial qualities. You need to be sweet

2. A man must be a slight bit more dominant in a relationship for a woman to feel happy and protected. Majority of women by statistics need to feel that their man is strong and also they may do occasional "testing". This behaviour is instictive and aims to make their man stronger. In the wild having a strong man was a very useful benefit, and he could protect her and her children. Women still posess the instinct in today's world, they seek for gaps in your armor without even realizing it. To deal with her testing you have to be very calm when she gets emotionally unstable, yells, and be able to prove you're not affected by it, and that you can turn the situation around, maybe even with a little comedy, which leads me to point

3. Humor. Women love humor. Women are attracted to men who can make them laugh, and they more easily get attached to them. Often this is an useful trait in impressing a woman for the first time, where other men sound like "friends" you will be the one showing confidence and not being threatened by her beauty or approaching her. This can also save your relationship if she says she no longer feels this way and no longer knows whether she still wants to be in the relationship. Also not letting yourself intimidated by her showing off in some way, eg. if she would say shes a model you could go like "A model, huh, are you a hand model? Foot model?" and shell laugh and say no shes a model for a magazine or something like that, but you betcha you're making a difference. A balance must be found between being a douchebag and not letting yourself shake in the face of her [a strong but reliable, kind man] assets and being able to seem relaxed, even if you dont always feel like it. Grab her, order her to cook something, be a little dominant here and there.

4. Keep communication to minimum, dont have to talk about the same issue 70 times, 3 times a day. Once or several times is more than enough if there are no clarifications needed. Keep it nice and sounding empathetic, take it slow, you dont have to have answers always ready. It gets easier the more you practice, but just be as kind and compassionate to her needs as possible, even without her expressing them. "It seems to me you disliked when i did that" is better than "you aren't into me", seems less judgment. Hugging before and after meeting is a nice way to start a date

5. Affection through language and touch. Intimacy is the number 1 important thing in a relationship. You need to find what your partner needs in terms of intimacy. There are four intimacy types: activities together, intelligent conversations, bonding through time and romantic discussions aka spiritual or emotional, and physical.

6. Doing things you enjoy with her. This will let it feel less of faking to be in a relationship, but have your genuine relationship, and this will help improve your self love and your needs too.Take up the initiative, but dont be afraid if she does sometimes. Its fine for a woman to make decisions and you can let her know you acknowledged what she found good about her decision and follow up with doing it.

7. Practice not being as reliant on always doing things right around her. That includes, don't automatically think your didn't bother her if she reacted in some way. Seek to find if it did, instead. Get to know yourself through her eyes and perception. Trust her.

She's 11 years older than you, she is probably mostly interested in sex which is perfectly normal. Just chill.

Yes, nature calls.