"Ageism" is nonsense

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Sorry but age does make a difference to you.

I can't generalise all youngsters as naive or all old people as wise but all things being equal - ie the same individual - I can do.

Also how I treat someone due to age is rarely going to be negative except if it's something like not dating someone outside of the age group. (Which honestly? The Half Your Age + 7 rule is a way to avoid creeps taking advantage of youngsters rather than 'discrimination'.)

That all things equal thing includes family.

I respect my elders. I protect my younger relatives. That doesn't make me a bigot, it just means I'm taking their life experience/lack of life experience into account.

The times it DOES break stereotypes? That's cos other factors are at play. I've known some downright stupid old people before. But I suspect they were even stupider in their 40s than in their 70s.

Most people are at their cognitive peak in middle age. If ageism was based on science old people would be treated like young people.

People get stupider when they get older all the time. Look at Donald Trump and Scott Adams. I think its at least true that stupid people get stupider when they get old. And even without dementia old people tend to get set in their beliefs and less open to new ideas. Young people are more likely to be naive in an open-minded way and change their beliefs quickly while old people tend to be naive about their tribe and cynical about everything else. It's why so many old people are falling for conspiracy theories on facebook but dismissing anything that doesn't support their side as fake news.

I agree with your larger point about ageism being legitimate at times but I don't think the way society applies it is based on reality. The stereotype that the oldest people are the wisest only makes paranoid, cognitively declining people more confident in their beliefs. There are probably millions of elderly QAnoners who attribute their belief that the Clintons eat children to worldly cynicism, and their children's and grandchildren's rejections of their beliefs to youthful naivety.

I should also clarify that when I said old people should be treated like young people, I did NOT mean that in the context of dating. I only mean that they should be recognized as more naive on average.

I think it exists but lot of times it's science like the younger you are, the more naive you are about life due to limited life experience. That is why teens get a pass for their ignorance when they think you can just move out and just work and you live happily ever after on your own. They have never had to pay rent or mortgage, never had to buy a house, pay for utilities, pay for gas, etc. so they have no idea how much living expenses are and if they come from middle class, they would have no idea about the poor and how minimum wage does not give you a living to stay off benefits.

People have a reason to be concerned when older adults date newly adults because they are still kids. Just because they can vote, get capital punishment, can drive, can work any job now doesn't mean they are adults. They are legally an adult yes. Law just says their brains are developed enough for them to understand politics enough to vote, to decide to smoke, can understand right from wrong and understand their actions to their consequences. Actually we hold minors accountable as adults, law doesn't care about brain development. But yeah I do see 21 year olds as children. That is why I wouldn't date one. I don't care if they can gamble and buy alcohol now, the law says they are old enough to make those choices and their brains are far developed enough for them to handle it.

But young adults are still vulnerable because older men can use them to take advantage of and if you come from a bad situation and you need money and shelter, this leaves you vulnerable to predators. This is why people judge older adults dating young adults but are fine with 50 year olds dating 35 year olds. But 35 year olds have had enough life experience in the real world.


But is it ableism when adults decide to date adults who are intellectually impaired or are closed to being intellectually disabled?

My ex might have been intellectually disabled or close to it but I didn't know it at the time but everyone kept telling me "he is a little ret*d" or that he might be. Even my other ex thought he had it too based on what I was describing about him. But like most people the mild intellectual impairments or borderline intellectual, most of them will try and hide it. But he was also a undiagnosed schizophrenic too and I read they also have cognitive impairments.

And for elderlies and driving, I don't think it's ageism to require them to pass the test every couple of years because your brain does decline and your depth perception. That is why elderlies are bad drivers. They drive too slow, take too long to turn, they are unpredictable so it puts other lives in danger. It's not ageism to take their keys away if they are unsafe drivers. Lot of them have too much pride to quit driving because it means they are losing independence and it will get worse. You can be 70 years old and be a fine driver, people are living longer now so 70 no longer looks like a granny. Plus people are aging slower too so people in their 70's can still look like in their 50's.


It would be ageism if you made assumptions based on their age. But if they are showing their limitations or limited knowledge due to age, not ageism. I do think age discrimination is a thing. I saw a woman on the Dr. Phil show. She decided to be a doctor so she went back to school and graduated in her 50's but no one will hire her and she thinks her age has to do with it. Ageism was discussed on the show. I mean sure if she had been a doctor a lot sooner, she may have been hired if she were still practicing.

I believe it's a real thing in a lot of cases. A friend of mine who was in his low 50s at the time was an unemployed IT professional. He wasn't management or anything thing like that, more like system administration type work. He'd get called in for a lot of interviews that he said went very well but would never get hired. They would always tell him that they really liked him, appreciated his qualifications and experience, but decided to pursue someone else.

Suspecting it might be his age, he added the year he graduated from college to his resume. After he did that, he did not receive a single call back. With no indication of his age, he went from several call backs a week to absolutely zero calls back once he added a piece of information that indicated his age.

Age is just one out of many factors with which to gauge someone.

When you are 20 years older, you will see things differently.
People get wiser with experience, assuming no brain trauma or dementia, etc.
Young people have to earn their stripes in life.

I said that...

It does depend on individual though. Some people go their entire lives being idiots.

They get wiser but they should speak down to younger members of their own sort, not to someone who is clearly more intelligent and educated. If your only education is reading the DM, I'm not the person you should be speaking down to, younger uneducated DM readers are.

"Age" often equates to levels of enlightenment, but it isn't linear nor universally achieved, in reality, grasshopper.

For eg my mum.

Same level of education as me.

So all things are equal.

Except age.

I still take her advice as if she has 20 years experience on me. Because she does.

Talking about "older creeps" is a sign of one type of ageism.
Talking in those terms suggests a type of attitude.
You will see things differently in 20 years time.

While I don't have a problem with most younger people, I do with younger people with an attitude.

I never aged out of my autism. Don't think I ever will. Socially speaking, NT teenagers are "wiser" than geriatric Aspies.

Among Aspies, I guess age makes us wiser to the reality of living in an NT-dominated world, or at least helps us accept the realities of our differences, even if we've know of those differences since childhood.

I don't care.

If someone is my exact age and hitting on a 16 yo, that is old creep behaviour.

It's legal in the UK but it's still creepy.

If people want to not be regarded as old creeps they should stick to only hitting on people with similar levels of life experience to themselves. Esp at my age, if you're hitting on someone half your age then you're pretty close to being a nonce. If you're even older than me and hitting on teens - there's something severely askew even if they're (the teens) adults.

I think it's something you understand once you have relatives from the younger generation to you who are technically adults. If someone my age started pestering my 17 yo nephew for sex, I would hate them for it.

Also I'm saying that ageism is a nonsense prejudice. It's a bit like saying 'fat phobic' when someone is dangerously unhealthy. Saying 'that's ageist' means little to me because I don't consider it a proper prejudice ie a belief out of nowhere.

Someone hits on a teenager when they're in their 30s +? Creep.

Socially maybe.

Education wise, I know a lot of NTs who think they deserve a pat on the back for reading 20 books in a whole year.

I do that in a month. I don't consider myself inferior to NTs, just different.

So there is no misunderstanding, my dating days are over.
I do, however, take exception to ageist terminology.
If I talked about "young brats", in general, I am sure I would be offending someone, also.

In 20 years time, I am sure you will see things differently, youngster.

I liked that show Kung Fu when came out back when I was a lad.