He was definitely not for me

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Hi:
I experienced this yesterday though we did not interact, I now see why we are not a suitable match and probably never will be.

1. Though he is 43, he has some very poor social and communication skills - He cut in front of several people without saying "Excuse me."
2. He did not look like he takes care of himself - He was grungy looking and had long greasy hair
3. Being that he is not a social person, he got what he needed and seemed to disappear
4. The way he was running through the store to get his things was similar to the way a 10-year-old kid acts. "Get what I need and get out of here, it's boring," type of attitude.

While there was a time where I would take offense to that, it does not bother me anymore because I have moved on with my life.

You deserve better than that guy. You're too good for him. There's a better man waiting just around the corner.

Having NT-expectations of potential partners means you are likely to end up dating NTs. Might work for some, but for the majority, it won't.

Simply put: If he acts like an NT he probably is an NT. If he acts like an ND he probably is an ND.

This is entirely out of context for me. Who is this guy? Do you know him? Do you know who he is? Does he know you? Why would you feel the need to consider his suitability as a partner if he's just some random person you observed in a store?

1. When I mean "Disappeared," meaning he got away from me pretty fast and then I never saw him in again during that trip to the grocery store after that

2. He is autistic, and he has severe sensory issues, and poor social and communication skills.

3. He is also very geeky and extremely extroverted -In his mind, going to the grocery store is "Highly logical" and that's it

4. Though he is not a bad person, he can be a very difficult person to deal with along with being extremely picky.

-He only wants to be around people with who he can have deep conversations all the time or he gets frustrated and storms off.

- He will also only date a woman if she is a high geek, and I did not meet those standards.


5. He's known to be nice when he wants to be or whenever he wants something

-His personality is like Jekyll and Hyde too

If I'm getting a pair of pants, I just look for my size, get the pants, pay for the pants, and get out of the store.

The only thing: I have a very short inseam size----so I usually have to pick a 29 inseam; otherwise, I'll be searching or a while. Good thing we have Amazon!

My wife can spend hours and hours in one store.

Just sounds like incompatibility. We shouldn’t change for anyone but ourselves and never try to change others

I think as a trans guy I can explain the trouser thing...

Since I started shopping for menswear (more accurately boys' wear), every shop carries the same size for the same size. This is especially true for men because boys will sometimes have 13 yo rather than 12 yo etc...

For womenswear, what in one shop might be a size 8 can be in another shop a size 6.

So even someone with a 'get in and get out of there' mentality won't find it easy to do what they want.

It's meant to be a 'compliment' to middle aged women that they still wear the same size that they wore as teenagers* but it's actually really impractical & they should fit it like bras with leg length (same as men's) then hip width.

* Cos M&S has more generous sizes than Next has more generous sizes than whatever replaced Tammy Girl

Speaking from the perspective of a person with ASD / Asperger Syndrome who has major sensory impairments.
I can say that the person's who you are talking about's behaviour could be caused by his ASD and sensory impairment.

Shopping in a big shop can be a complete nightmare for people with ASD and sensory impairment.
Hypersensitivity to sound, movement, lights can cause a person with ASD who is hyper sensory to go into the fight, flight and freeze response.

If this happened to the man who you are describing, then it perhaps is understandable with regards to his behaviour, even his rudeness, as during the fight, flight and freeze response, the primitive primate mind takes over and makes the body do what it needs to do in order to escape what is perceived as danger.

I understand from your perspective Summer_Twilight that his response may not be what you like, and sure, you have the right to choose who you want to be in a relationship with, and if his behaviour is something that you don't like or can't adjust to, then sure, you have the right to not befriend / or engage in a relationship with this person. Fair enough.

Perhaps he would be better in a different environment. one that isn't so busy in terms of sensory information.
Perhaps you should tell him next time he is on a date and being judged.

Perhaps you can value the speed of his shopping, as sounds like he was efficient.

As for long greasy hair, this is more to do with his own personal hygiene and there isn't really a good excuse to explain this behaviour apart from poor mental health. A long time ago i had long hair, down past my shoulders (now my hair is shaven into a crew cut), but even during this period when my hair was long, i showered every day and washed my hair frequently. Although i have to admit, having long hair can be a bit of a burden if your not the type of man who wants to spend a lot of time looking after your appearance.

This is one reason why i cut my hair short, so that i no longer had to spend an hour getting ready before leaving the house. After that, it takes me 10 mins in the shower, put my clothes on and gone, all done in 20 minutes and still looking presentable, clean.

I don't know about the geek girl thing. I personally find all attractive woman attractive regardless as to what their into.
I see what is there. Geek girls, Rock Girls, gamer girls, sport girls etc. What there into is just a facet of their personal interests and doesn't detract from their beauty.