At a crossroads with what to do with my career & life?

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Dan_the_man
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25 Feb 2021, 5:14 am

I am a single male aged in his mid 30s. I owned my own company for 8 years and have now had to close it due it not being viable anymore. The work I did was online only and involved no real interaction with humans. It was the dream job for someone who has Asperger's.

I have accumulated a large wealth but I am at a crossroads in order how to use this wealth to live as stress free an existence as possible with regards to interacting with other humans.

I would say for my whole life I have shied away from having friends. I have had traumatic experiences and have been used by others for their own gain. I have been bullied when at school with violence and threats used against me. The work I did in my company for the previous 8 years has shielded me and projected me from other humans. I am grateful for those safe 8 years but I am frightened for my future.

I have five choices,

Option 1 - £12k per year income

Invest in the global stock/bond markets. From my extensive research I could achieve returns of at least 3% which would be around £12k per year after my mortgage has been paid. To give a bench mark a person working full time in a minimum wage job the UK would earn £18k per year. With this option I would be living a pretty miserable existence but at least I would be living in a nice house in a nice area. I would be free from interaction from other humans.

Option 2 - £17k per year income

Option 1 + get a lodger in to earn an extra £5k a year. This brings me up to the minimum wage but then I have to share my house with a stranger. I am a very messy person and struggle to keep the house clean. I think a lodger would get easily annoyed by how dirty I am. My house has two living rooms which might make this manageable as we would have our own space.

Option 3 - £20k per year income

Option 1 + get a part time job in a supermarket stacking shelves. This means I have to interact with humans. I had this type of job before when I was younger but I was assaulted in work and found the experience traumatic . I was also called a freak by other co workers. As I worked nights there were no customers to deal with which helped. This would bring my earnings up to £20k per year.

Option 4 - £12k + Unknown income

Option 1 + try and learn a new skill which I can use to try and create a small business from my bedroom. My skills include great attention to detail and great focus. I have a degree in graphic design and I would be good at desktop publishing, magazines etc. The issue is I have is a procrastinate a lot and I take too much time worrying about details when carrying out projects. For example if you gave 2 people a 2 page magazine spread, person 1 would have it completed in 2 hours but I could spend 2 days obsessing over details before completion.

Option 5 - £25k per year income plus lump sum cash when selling assets.

Use my money and invest in residential properties to rent out to young professionals. This would give me a full time job and I could earn £25k a year plus get to own assets which I could sell when I retire for a lump sum payment. This option gives me the most financial security but could be the most stressful as I am having to manage tenants. I know I have to option of handling management over to an estate agent but I still feel there might be issues that crop up.

I know money is not everything but its a balance of taking more risks to have to interaction with humans on different levels for a better living experience.

Many thanks for listening.



Dear_one
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25 Feb 2021, 5:43 am

In a somewhat similar situation, I lived in my car for two months, exploring an area where farm amalgamation had left houses empty. Remote areas tend to have a higher percentage of people who understand not wanting social interaction. My mother spent the warm halves of 40 years living in a simple camper and just driving to the next park every few days. Social interactions on the road are pretty simple and predictable.
You might find an affinity for nature if you spend some time there. I didn't want to be all alone to deal with any possible visitors, so I live in a small town. Even better would be living on a farm where only the host household knows that one of the foot paths leads to my house. That would cover security. Keeping your house mobile is insurance against an unfavourable change of ownership.
To stay ahead of the curve of time, I would only consider properties which don't need carbon fuel, preferably net-zero or even producing surplus power. I would certainly avoid low seashores.



AlanMooresBeard
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25 Feb 2021, 8:52 am

If it was me, I'd choose either option 4 or 5 and, if pressed, would probably lean more towards option 4. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.



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25 Feb 2021, 9:39 am

Option 4 looks the most attractive. I would have said option 5 BUT the way things are going here in the UK, many who have done option 5 instead of investing in a pension are now facing financial troubles due to the tightening of rules, especially here in Wales. Option 4 is safer and seems more appropiate for your circumstances, and good luck whichever option or route you take.


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Fireblossom
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25 Feb 2021, 10:28 am

Hard to say what'd be the best option for you since I don't know you, but even so, I'd still dare to say to not take option 2. You'd lose some of your own space for sure, and the other person might nag about your messiness like you feared or worse, be a messy one compared to you. Or if you're really unlucky, that person might be up to something shady. Option 2 just doesn't sound like it'd be worth it.

Option 3 sounds pretty good to me, but if you think it's too much for you due to a trauma, it might not work out. Of course, you could always try it out and if a job like that is too much for you, then just try something else.

Option 4 might work out just fine too, but it'd probably take a while for that to start bringing in money. So basically, for a while it would still be like option 1 and will be option 1 if it doesn't work out... though only relying on investments alone can also be risky, so having everything depending on them is not something I'd recommend.

Option 5 sounds the most appealing to me, but it would take a lot of work and it does have it's risks, plus it includes some really important human contact. But if you think it'd be worth the risk and have the money, then why not?



Fenn
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25 Feb 2021, 11:07 am

You could consider becoming a seller on ebay in addition to investing in the stock market.
If you are hypersensitive to physical interaction with people because of Autism + PTSD or CPTSD you might find the online interaction with people of buying and selling to be less painful. There are two approaches I am thinking of to this: one is buying goods in bulk and then breaking them up into smaller lots and reselling at a prophet. The other is buying and selling collectables. In this type of thing a special interest and being detailed oriented can really help - the trick is to know the value of things and become an expert in some area of collectables. The you can spot things for sale at below value, and add value by reselling them with a better listing which highlights the comfortableness, or with additional documentation, which adds value. People also make money on line by buying raw materials and converting them into high value goods and reselling: such as with a CNC or 3D Printer - or with craft or artistic skills. This adds value.
Making money in any way shape or form amounts to trading time for money. If you invest in the stock market you make more money if you invest more time in becoming expert in this type of thing. If you work at a supermarket you make an hourly wage. If you are a internet seller you make more money if you use your time wisely either becoming more expert or in dealing with customers. The money you receive usually comes from other people - so investing in people skills can help, such as reading books on non-verbal communication, or studying how to be a good internet seller. Even investing involves people - having the right investment advisor can increase your gain - or learning to become your own investment advisor and then interacting with people to buy and sell. My current investment advisor started as an insurance salesman. I find interaction with him very trying and I would prefer to find someone else, but my wife likes him and doesn't want to change right now. Before that I made all my own investment decision and had to work with people myself - by wife did the books and became overwhelmed with all the paper work and needed help.
I also have trouble with procrastination or with hyperfocusing on the wrong thing - the thing that doesn't get the job done (the on my boss wants done) or escapism because I am feeling overwhelm or emotional pain. I am working with a therapist on this and I try to read online to "figure it out". Avoiding people has some advantages and some disadvantages. Interacting with people has some advantages and some disadvantages. I try to keep building on my strengths and keep growing - DBT (Dialectic Behavior Therapy) deals specifically with hypersensitivity - either naturally a part of ADHD and Autism - or from PTSD or CPTSD. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) can help with some of the emotional pain. I also take medication to help with the emotional and the ADHD stuff. It is like a jigsaw puzzle or a collage for me.



SharonB
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25 Feb 2021, 12:08 pm

Selfishly (for me), you might understand my separate post about Comfort or Interaction. I am between jobs myself and confronted by this. I am extroverted so want interaction, but need to find a way for it to be as comfortable as possible.

Kudos to you for having a successful business for that period of time.

I would go for Option 5. It might mean shopping around for a property management company that is competent and allows for the most hands-off experience. Might cost a bit more in percentage but be well worth it.



kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2021, 2:16 pm

1,000 pounds a month in spending money isn't bad, actually (you said your mortgage is all paid up). But you wouldn't be able to go on trips/holidays.

Believe it or not, if I were you, I might pick the first option, since it is less stressful. How much do you have to pay in electricity, cable, and phone per month?

I guess I would pick the first option because I don't really know that much about investing. I certainly wouldn't pick a situation where I might get a roommate.



IsabellaLinton
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25 Feb 2021, 2:26 pm

Option 5, and hire a property manager to oversee the people for you.

My family and friends have a history of doing this, and it's quite lucrative.

Just my opinion, of course.

I'd personally dissuade anyone from Option 2.
Sharing living space, especially when autistic, is very problematic both legally, socially, and emotionally.


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Dan_the_man
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25 Feb 2021, 2:42 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Option 5, and hire a property manager to oversee the people for you.

My family and friends have a history of doing this, and it's quite lucrative.

Just my opinion, of course.

I'd personally dissuade anyone from Option 2.
Sharing living space, especially when autistic, is very problematic both legally, socially, and emotionally.


The issue with property managers is the buck does not stop with them but with you. You will also get into situations where you have to confront people. This might only be 5% of the time but it will happen. People not paying rent, neighbours complaining to you about noisy parties your renters are having etc.



Dan_the_man
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25 Feb 2021, 4:43 pm

What about having a fellow aspie as a lodger? Is this a good idea?



kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2021, 6:41 pm

Depends on the Aspie.....but there's the distinct possibility that an Aspie will be a neat freak.



Dan_the_man
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25 Feb 2021, 7:03 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Depends on the Aspie.....but there's the distinct possibility that an Aspie will be a neat freak.


That is a very good point, sadly I am not a neat freak :(



Dan_the_man
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25 Feb 2021, 7:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Believe it or not, if I were you, I might pick the first option, since it is less stressful. How much do you have to pay in electricity, cable, and phone per month?


I could probably get by on £15k at a push. You are right I couldn't go on holidays.



SharonB
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26 Feb 2021, 12:32 pm

Dan_the_man wrote:
This might only be 5% of the time but it will happen. People not paying rent, neighbours complaining to you about noisy parties your renters are having etc.

The house next to us is a rental. In 18 years I have made two complaints (maybe three) to the property owner. As far as I can tell, the property owner ignored me both (all) times. So apparently it's acceptable to simply delete worrisome voicemails. :|

I am considering renting out my current property and have similar concerns (even more so b/c as of last year, the property on the other side is a rental --- it would be three rentals in a row, ugh, plus more complicated taxes). I figure I'd deal with it. Not easily, but logically it should be worthwhile.

I am currently in Option 0 (living on a shoestring). Since Option 4 is an uncomfortable but necessary step for me, I am skipping Option 1 (I've considered but am risk adverse) to Option 3 (I would do secret shopper or work at a hardware store). A lesser Option 5 is my long-term goal. Really I could be convinced (by things in or outside my control) to rearrange things and try any option, but that's the direction I'm going right now.

A journey begins with one step.



IsabellaLinton
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26 Feb 2021, 8:06 pm

Dan_the_man wrote:
What about having a fellow aspie as a lodger? Is this a good idea?


Pros:
They might understand you better
They might be quiet and have few guests
They might be hard working
They might have a reliable source of income from disability payments or a job

Cons:
They might have sensory issues that upset them easily
They might become dependent and hard to evict if needed (disability rights)
They might be the type that wants to talk about their special interest all the time
They might not pick up on your hints or body language, without very firm boundaries
(hard if you aren't a communicator) ^

These are all massive generalisations, of course. I realise that.


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