So I'm gay

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I've been posting here on and off for awhile, so I'm undiagnosed Asperger's and gay. Long story short, I convinced myself early on in life that I was strait. Some of it had to do with Catholic upbringing and growing up in a small town in Michigan. Also, my family wasn't a big fan of it. If my late Grandmother knew, I would of probably gotten sent to conversion therapy.

Anyway, I didn't date in high school and I went out on my first date(with a girl) at 24. It sounds stupid, but I honestly thought these feelings I was having about being sexually attracted to men, would go away if I dated a girl( Sounds F'd up I know). I felt I could "fix" myself. I actually moved an hour away from where I lived, to be with this girl. Then the truth came out... I still remember the day and it's still feels weird to talk about it, July 15, 2007. I was 27(now 41).

When I had announced to my parents I was moving back, they were a little surprised. Then, it was suggested I try dating again and I sort of just blurted out why we broke up, they were surprised but not totally shocked, way I kind of saw it. I cannot say they were thrilled, but they let me know everything was ok and it didn't change anything.

I told a couple of now EX-friends, it went ok. My extended family has never been told and no one at work knows. A few online friends do know. While I like being single, I have those times where I wish I had someone. At this point in my life, I don't see anything changing. Due to my secretive nature, even if I met someone I'm not sure I would go about telling people I was dating a guy.

So that's kind of my story and hope you all don't mind me sharing it.

Thanks for sharing. I hope that every step toward coming out helps in its own way. I'm glad that your parents were OK with it, after you explained what happened with your ex-girlfriend.

I can relate to your story very much. My first (and only) three relationships all ended with the man coming out. This was a twenty year span of my life, so it was pretty significant for me in terms of lost relationships. The second and third men experienced the same pressures from Catholicism that you describe, and they felt they had to hide their sexuality from everyone (themselves, their families, their faith, and me). I'm still best friends with the third man after 20 years and I've finally started dating again (fingers crossed, lol).

Welcome to WP, by the way! I haven't noticed your posts before.

Thanks for the kind words Isabella Linton. To answer r00tb33r, it's a complicated question. I'm definitely attracted to men, Women don't really figure into the equation. Maybe for me it was going through the motions or trying to trick my mind. I still feel awful about the whole experience.

Out of curiosity, when you were growing up, did you think your sexuality was the reason you were different from others? When did you realize you had Asperger's?

Thanks for sharing.
Living a life in denial to your own feelings is the part where I can really relate.
I'm glad you can be true to yourself now.

Do you have a boyfriend now?

My wife’s son is gay, is in a civil partnership, and has a son through a surrogate.

Congrats on coming out 14 years ago!

Grew up in a homophobic home myself - they tried a half hearted conversion but kicked me out at 17.

That was almost 40 years ago, tho.
Im over it. Mom kind of came around as she loved drag queens. She passed a few years ago.

Recently diagnosed AS, so that put so much history in perspective.

Im relationship oriented though, but it was always tough to find longer term dating prospects that could handle my...um..."quirks". Very happily married now - burbs, dogs, I'm a picket fence queen. LOL

thanks and that's wonderful

Congratulations on coming out from 14 years ago!

I'm cisgender and straight, but am sometimes accused of being gay by my LGBT-phobic mom.

Just because I have a few LGBT friends does not mean I'm a closeted gay or bisexual person.

Congrats for coming out. I don’t think badly of people as long as there not a scumbag

^^
Continue to enjoy your stay here on Wrong Planet!