I think I might have NPD

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I think I might have NPD, but I have empathy. I also have some traits of Schizotypal and Paranoid traits.

History of traits that I had and still have:

( Some of these traits are mixes of Learning Disorders, Autism and Conduct Disorder and Narcissism )

*Too egoistic and self-centered from my early childhood to adulthood
*Profound communication delays until age 8 and had very low IQ until age 11
*Sadistic thoughts started from age ten ( Feelings of dark revenge after being bullied )
*History of being very aggressive from my early childhood and at the age of fifteen for one month
*Played mind games about aliens, Military and SWAT team for one month at age fifteen, before taking medications.
*Used to have anger problems from my early childhood and had anger problems at the age of fifteen for one month
*Paranormal beliefs, especially if my routine changed ( From early childhood to adulthood )
*Believes that my restricted interests are more important than anything else ( From my early to late childhood )

I would go to a professional with a lot of clinical experience in personality disorders.

Beware of therapists who say they have experience in this but also list every other type of mental disorder.

Also keep in mind that the personality disorders are something that few people have.

And almost everyone displays traits of the various ones.

I’ve never met a totally “normal” person in my life

Everybody has at least “traits” of some disorder or other.

The stuff you mentioned does not really sound like Narcissism to me. I don't think a true Narcissist would be bothered about being one. Instead they would be upset that others think they are one or they would assume that everyone else is the one with the problem.

But I have unhealthy grandiosed fantasies.

Isn't NPD like a spectrum? Do I need all the treats to have NPD?

I hope that I can understand you better.

Unhealthy grandiosed fantasies can be a symptom of other disorders. I had some when I had a mental breakdown at 20 & was suffering from a psychotic depression. You mentioned Schizotypal Personality Disorder & I would guess that Schizotypal could have those types of fantasies. When I got tested for Aspergers after having the mental breakdown(my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Aspergers during my 1st appointment & she referred me for testing) my report said that I had all the main features of Schizotypal Personality Disorder but did not have it. I think those fantasies can also be part of Schizophrenia & Bipolar Disorder. Us Aspies can have some traits of Narcissism & sometimes the uneducated may assume that the Aspie is a Narcissist but very few Aspies are Narcissist. It can be very difficult to figure out what disorders we have sometimes cuz lots of things can overlap. It helped me figure things out some 1ce I analyzed myself a lot & had a better idea of what things were effects & what things were more direct causes.

Thank you! I understood.

Whilst I agree with others who've posted on here that you may have other psychological problems which would benefit e from an evaluation, if you genuinely had NPD I don't think you'd be on here asking about it.

I've known a few narcissists in my time, and in my experience they're usually so lacking in any capacity for self-reflection that they refuse to accept - or in some cases don't even realise - that they're narcissists.

I think I have too much ego and have abnormal form of happiness.

I have Bipolar Disorder.

There is such thing called "High-functioning psychosis or Schizophrenia"

It means that you have all of the symptoms of Schizophrenia but it is so mild to the point where you can do normal everyday tasks and even do well in school.

That is where people like me come from.


This video is very educational.


Source:


This YouTuber explains that people like me are aware that they are in a psychotic episode and know that their delusions and hallucinations are not real. But they have poor self control, because psychosis plays mind games in your brain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmvLaT6ojaw


Other sources:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14592000/

https://themighty.com/2020/05/high-func ... hallenges/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/arti ... -function/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26827130/


Bipolar Disorder with that may lead to psychosis:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhuF9iQ_QG4


Information about myself:


I still have symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.

For example: Abnormal sense of happiness, agitation, too egoistic and after a few weeks later, I feel worthless and suicidal and sometimes I have a delusion that everything is my fault.

It's just that my symptoms of Bipolar Disorder are mild.

I am also more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors that can be considered unsafe sex. And I might put everyone in danger without intention, because of my manic state.

That is also a symptom of Bipolar Disorder.


Even using too many substances, especially doing illegal drugs to keep you too hyperactive is also a sign of Bipolar Disorder.


That does not mean that I will do these things, but I am at risk for doing these things, because I have Bipolar Disorder.

I act like a narcissist when I have a hypo-manic episode and then become depressed after a few weeks.

Last edited by FranzOren on 03 Apr 2021, 8:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I sometimes tend to have Delusion of grandeur when I have too much ego and too much happiness for a few weeks and get depressed for another two weeks.

It's the same cycle. It is very annoying to have Bipolar and related disorders.

Just putting this out there, please don't be offended if I've got the wrong idea. Franz.
It's just that looking at your threads I see you are casting around to try and find the right label for yourself and any antisocial thoughts you are having.
If you are autistic, it is possible that your brain has latched onto self-psychoanalysis as a special interest, which is why you feel the need to keep pursuing this online instead of through a medical practitioner.
If that is the case, you might find it healthy to divert your interest into concentrating more on other people, for instance I know some autistics develop a keen interest in studying true crime stories and psychoanalysing the perpetrators. Do you enjoy true crime shows and the like?
Just a suggestion, anyway.

Kind of, but yes!

I developed an autistic interest in forensics, psychology, neurology, psychiatry, criminology and criminal statistics to do research of who will more likely to be victims or criminals.

According to my college to university level study, people with mental health and developmental disorders are less likely to commit crimes and are ten times more likely to be victims than the general population.

My scientific study

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2P ... zI-My6/pub