Are these things still possible at 32 or older?

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1. Escaping my control freak mother’s grasp.

2. Getting better education and employment.

3. Potentially living off writing and drawing.

4. Establishing lasting friendships.

5. Finding a loving girlfriend and potential bride.

6. Potentially starting a family.

Are these things still possible at my age or even when I turn 33 this year or even when I get older than that?

#3 is probably less likely than the others----but even #3 is still possible.

If you were living in the 1950s, #3 would have been more possible.

Yes, they're all possible.

#1 is actually inevitable, but I understand you'd like it to occur before and not because of that reason. I'm not a good source for help on that one though, I still live with my parents.

#2 can be hard and it's made worse by not being certain what schooling to pursue which keeps you trapped in dead-end jobs because bills still arrive.

#3 should be doable. There's authors here, Offset and Kraichgauer have both been published ifaik.

#4 can be hard but not impossible. I'd imagine memories of previous bad outcomes way heavily when you're meeting new people and training oneself to believe that better outcomes are possible can be really difficult but that doesn't make it impossible. Am I a friend?

#5 in some ways is a variation on #4.

1. Yes.

2. Yes. Especially if you are able to educate yourself.

3. Didn't you ask for #2? Find something better to do and leave these for a hobby.

4. That's a tricky one.

5. Yes.

6. Sure, but that's not entirely up to you. You may need to open your mind to adoption.

Quite frankly, in order for all this to be possible, you must leave the past behind you.

The past is what is keeping you in your bind at this point.

I think you could do all those things Mark.

Btw I like those monster drawings you did. I wish I could draw those things but I suck at drawing such creatures.

Do some research on how to make money off writing and then give it a go. Do you think you could balance writing and working at the library?

I'm sure that all 6 are possible, yes.

1. Why is that the case for you if you don’t mind me asking?

2. That is true. Speaking in my case, Texas attitude has this weird mixture of the American Dream and working yourself to death. You can decide what you want to do with your life but only what’s considered acceptable at large by those who tell you this and you are expected to work yourself to death or else you aren’t considered working at all.

3. I know the latter but not the former.

4. Yes.

5. Very true.

6. I know you didn’t answer this one but I’ll say something I have been told. I’ve been told I would make a good father because of my gentle nature and my refusal to be like the men in the area I live who drink as well as smoke like crazy on beer and cigarettes (Not judging those who do it to relax. I am talking about those who abuse both things.) and drive dangerously as well as get in fights over trivial things. But I don’t want just any woman to be my bride.

Thank you, Sarah.

I know they aren’t officially published but I have posted a short story online as well as some bonuses to it. I might be able to balance it since my work schedule is going to change where I don’t have to go in at 12 anymore and I fortunately won’t have to see someone who I’ve historically clashed with for whole days anymore. I do still struggle with writer’s block. I know that one of my favorite authors, S. Andrew Swann, works as a tech researcher at the same time as being an author. Another one of my favorite authors, William Gibson (Who by the way lives in Canada but he was born in the US and lived there until he was a young adult because he was scared of getting drafted to Vietnam but he later found out the military never bothered with him.), didn’t publish his first novel until he was 35 but he did short stories before then.

Thank you.

That’s true but also my control freak mother, my financial situation, and disappointing events lately compound the issue.

I'd agree with that, you have a good head on your shoulders for raising kids in that environment. I don't see you raising them with the toxic mindset you describe as common around where you live.

Those things are possible at any age.

My name actually derives from Mars the Roman god of war. Though I am not aggressive, my friend who is a former combat mercenary is teaching me some martial arts, including sword and spear fighting, so I can protect myself so I am in a way living up to my name’s origin. This friend owns firearms as well but he’s trained in hand to hand combat so well he doesn’t need them most of the time to stop an attacker.

Yes these things are still possible.

Although this forum is not primarily intended for advice, it seems to me that the following advice is relevant to the purpose of explaining why I think it is still possible for you to achieve your goals.


That will depend on getting a better job so you can afford to move out.


This is the crux of most of your other goals, and it needs to be planned carefully. What kinds of decent-paying jobs do you think you would be capable of doing? This will determine what kind of education you seek.

Then, when you decide what kind of education you want, be proactive about learning. Don't wait for the professor to teach you everything you need to know. These days, there are lots of educational videos on YouTube, and even more videos on educational services like CuriosityStream. Watch relevant videos and/or read relevant books before you take a course. That way, you'll do much better in the course.


A writing career or an art career would likely take a very long time to establish. Niche marketing is much easier than mass marketing, but even niche marketing will be a lot of work. The first baby steps toward making a name for yourself as a writer are to take notes on everything that interests you and then to create a blog (either Wordpress or Google Blogger) devoted to some topic of interest to you, as I suggested to you via PM.


Will be much easier once you are able to win respect from the kinds of people you want as friends. Since you want to make friends with nerds/geeks who share specific interests of yours, you could eventually win respect as an amateur expert on some topic of interest to potential friends via the afore-mentioned blog. (Also it will be easier to win respect when you have a better job and are no longer living with your parents.)


Likely very difficult until you've accomplished at least #1 and #2 above. Accomplishing #4 above will make #5 easier too. Also, if you want to attract a nerdy woman, my advice regarding the blog is applicable to potential girlfriends as well as to potential friends generally. I strongly recommend NOT focusing on goal #5 at this time, until you've made substantial progress toward the other goals above.


Obviously #5 is a prerequisite, but you should think carefully about whether you really want kids.

I am currently short on time but what if I am successful at the speed dating event but still live with my mother and still have the same job?