ex partners cyber stalking, could you forgive?

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madbutnotmad
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15 Mar 2021, 7:30 pm

if you found out that any (or all) of your ex partners
were involved in cyber stalking / eavesdropping on you
with people who were involved in stalking you in order to
hurt you, to ridicule you, to steal from you and to gas light you

could you trust these ex-partners ever again?
or would you think they are complete a holes
and never want to see them again

:-)



IsabellaLinton
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15 Mar 2021, 7:33 pm

I'd charge them with harassment, and file a restraining order.

I don't mess around with shite like that.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Mar 2021, 7:34 pm

People need an incentive to just "get a life."

A legal incentive-----with consequences if they don't "get a life."



Rexi
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15 Mar 2021, 9:08 pm

Forgiveness is essential to healing and I am the best.

Besides that doesn't include letting them in or trusting them again.

I would view them as worms, because bad apples are better.

I would always know worms can rise based on behavior, but honestly that's their business if they do. Second chances are bad for a worm's growth.

I rule with an iron fish and they love worms. I owe nothing to worms, they owe me more than they can pay.


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nick007
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15 Mar 2021, 10:17 pm

How would you define cyber stalking madbutnotmad :?: Some people consider following somebody's public online presence to be a form of cyber stalking. For example checking the social media your ex uses can be considered cyber stalking by some people's definitions. There doesn't have to be any ill-intentions. I've been guilty of that kinda stuff after both my breakups but I was not contacting them or telling anybody else about their business.


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IsabellaLinton
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15 Mar 2021, 10:27 pm

madbutnotmad wrote:
stalking you in order to
hurt you, to ridicule you, to steal from you and to gas light you


Following an online presence is different from what he's described above ^.


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16 Mar 2021, 12:45 am

madbutnotmad wrote:
if you found out that any (or all) of your ex partners
were involved in cyber stalking / eavesdropping on you
with people who were involved in stalking you in order to
hurt you, to ridicule you, to steal from you and to gas light you

could you trust these ex-partners ever again?
or would you think they are complete a holes
and never want to see them again

:-)


Depends...
...on how horny I am. :mrgreen:



amykitten
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16 Mar 2021, 4:01 am

Put do you have proof they were working together? If it was based on recent thiings you posted online then most people have access to that surely? I generally don't trust exs as they normally would have lost all my trust to begin with.



Blue_Blake
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16 Mar 2021, 4:07 am

I would forgive (for myself) and forget. At that point they wouldn't be worth any of my energy or attention so I would cut all forms of communication with them as well. I've tried making friends online and it hasn't ended well.



Fnord
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16 Mar 2021, 9:28 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'd charge them with harassment, and file a restraining order.  I don't mess around with shite like that.
↑ This is the only sensible course of action, provided you have real evidence (not mere suspicion) to prove their alleged stalking.


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Rexi
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20 Mar 2021, 10:38 pm

amykitten wrote:
Put do you have proof they were working together? If it was based on recent thiings you posted online then most people have access to that surely? I generally don't trust exs as they normally would have lost all my trust to begin with.

Totally agree, its why it's pointless for me to friend exes besides the fact that it's dangerous because we can get back together.
Also I think it's cruel to have the same person as not what they used to be anymore.


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Last edited by Rexi on 20 Mar 2021, 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

r00tb33r
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20 Mar 2021, 10:46 pm

Rexi wrote:
Totally agree, its why it's pointless for me to friend exes besides the fact that it's dangerous because we can get back together.

Depends on the reason why you separated.


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21 Mar 2021, 3:57 pm

I would file claims against them as the law allows, and utterly break connections with them. What a disgusting act.


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21 Mar 2021, 3:59 pm

If they're one of my ex's I stopped trusting them already. For them to then engage in something like that is insult to injury.

How I would handle it would depend on the degree of what was going on. I did have an ex who kind of did some of this but the situation was pretty harmless to me, just annoying. I'd say he ended up hurting himself more.


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23 Mar 2021, 7:33 am

r00tb33r wrote:
Rexi wrote:
Totally agree, its why it's pointless for me to friend exes besides the fact that it's dangerous because we can get back together.

Depends on the reason why you separated.

Not for me. There's a certain point where emotions take over.


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Mona Pereth
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27 Mar 2021, 12:28 am

madbutnotmad wrote:
if you found out that any (or all) of your ex partners
were involved in cyber stalking / eavesdropping on you
with people who were involved in stalking you in order to
hurt you, to ridicule you, to steal from you and to gas light you

could you trust these ex-partners ever again?

Of course not.

madbutnotmad wrote:
or would you think they are complete a holes
and never want to see them again

Certainly.

Unlike some people in this thread, though, I have NOT felt that way about ex-partners in general.

Among the erotic relationships I had when I was in my twenties and thirties, usually either things just fizzled out or we mutually decided we weren't compatible; no hard feelings. It helped a lot that I also had several very close friends. Indeed my circle of friends was more important to me than any erotic/romantic relationship.

Being bisexual and in touch with the LGBTQ+ community helped also. Among lesbians back then (I'm not sure if this is still true), it was commonplace to remain close friends with ex-partners. Indeed many lesbians had an alternative extended family made up of ex-partners.


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