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My mother kept me from becoming a father

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Marknis
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08 Apr 2021, 8:35 pm

Before I learned I had Aspergers, I had some aspirations of being a father. Partly it was because the birthrate in my area is extremely high and I was extolled in the doctrine of “Be fruitful and multiply” by the churches and the private school I was made to go to. But another part of me genuinely wanted to become a parent. However, my mother panicked at the idea by claiming I wouldn’t be able to handle being a parent and even tried to push me to get a vasectomy because she was also paranoid I would have sex in college and potentially get hit with child support. Her fears about the latter were unfounded since I was unable to even get a coffee date in college and interacting with the opposite sex was no different than how it usually went in my developmental years. She also refused to encourage me to date and even told me I shouldn’t even have been thinking about it. She would especially snarl at me for that until she broke my spirit and I started agreeing with her. It wasn’t until I started rejecting the religion she endoctrinated me in and overcame the brainwashing she instilled in me I started telling her to stop attacking my desires. However, I have been unable to prove her wrong.

I hope your happy, mother. You made me become unable to be a father.



AnonymousAnonymous
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08 Apr 2021, 9:57 pm

Marknis wrote:
Before I learned I had Aspergers, I had some aspirations of being a father. Partly it was because the birthrate in my area is extremely high and I was extolled in the doctrine of “Be fruitful and multiply” by the churches and the private school I was made to go to. But another part of me genuinely wanted to become a parent. However, my mother panicked at the idea by claiming I wouldn’t be able to handle being a parent and even tried to push me to get a vasectomy because she was also paranoid I would have sex in college and potentially get hit with child support. Her fears about the latter were unfounded since I was unable to even get a coffee date in college and interacting with the opposite sex was no different than how it usually went in my developmental years. She also refused to encourage me to date and even told me I shouldn’t even have been thinking about it. She would especially snarl at me for that until she broke my spirit and I started agreeing with her. It wasn’t until I started rejecting the religion she endoctrinated me in and overcame the brainwashing she instilled in me I started telling her to stop attacking my desires. However, I have been unable to prove her wrong.

I hope your happy, mother. You made me become unable to be a father.


Wow...you have taken enough abuse from this woman who believes she knows what's best for you.

:evil:

A starting point for you to get a better life for yourself is to contact VR Services in your area. Be forewarned that offices are in Austin and in turn, VR could help you with long-term support such as housing.

If you choose to do this, do it carefully behind your abusive mom's back. It seems as if she enjoys being abusive towards you as if you never meant anything to her other than a target for abuse.


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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


goldfish21
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09 Apr 2021, 11:12 am

While she hasn't exactly given you positive reinforcement about these things, it's not your mother's (or anyone's) fault that you're not a father. No sense in blaming her for your lack of partner. You're your own human being, responsible for your self, your decisions, your health, the effort you put into making yourself more attractive, the things you try to initiate conversations with women etc - none of those things are things your mother, or anyone else, controls.

Your energy would be better spent focused on improving your health, fitness, social skills and general attractiveness, instead of angrily blaming your mother or anyone else for your situation. One has a chance of improving you and your dating life chances, the other only serves to further ingrain negative thoughts in your noodle and distract you from taking action towards your goals.

IMO.


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Summer_Twilight
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09 Apr 2021, 11:27 am

Marknis wrote:
Before I learned I had Aspergers, I had some aspirations of being a father. Partly it was because the birthrate in my area is extremely high and I was extolled in the doctrine of “Be fruitful and multiply” by the churches and the private school I was made to go to. But another part of me genuinely wanted to become a parent. However, my mother panicked at the idea by claiming I wouldn’t be able to handle being a parent and even tried to push me to get a vasectomy because she was also paranoid I would have sex in college and potentially get hit with child support. Her fears about the latter were unfounded since I was unable to even get a coffee date in college and interacting with the opposite sex was no different than how it usually went in my developmental years. She also refused to encourage me to date and even told me I shouldn’t even have been thinking about it. She would especially snarl at me for that until she broke my spirit and I started agreeing with her. It wasn’t until I started rejecting the religion she endoctrinated me in and overcame the brainwashing she instilled in me I started telling her to stop attacking my desires. However, I have been unable to prove her wrong.

I hope your happy, mother. You made me become unable to be a father.


You mother does sound controlling but that's not you, it's her.