Overwealmed.

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I did not know what it meant but I "Know" what it means. What I mean by that is I know what the feeling means... When one can't take any more input or one feels like one will explode! But... I did not know the feeling was called that. I did not know the feling had a name. I have recently figured it out!

"What a strange thing for me to say!"

Yes. I have heard the term before but... It is not a term I used because it was a term I may say without connecting it with a meaning? But... How didn't I know?

I am trying to figure it out. I have quite a few feelings which only recently have I managed to match the feelings to words. Anxiety is one of them.
I have been soo used to anxiety that I did not really know what the term means. Can I be this stupid? Why has it taken me so long?

I do not always have anxiety. What I mean is that though I have had it from a young child onwards, I do not have it every single hour of the day.. is what I am trying to say.
I was used to anxiety big time before school or work etc. It meant I was paralized with it so I had to get there early and just sit quietly until I calmed down enough to let my body move and hold my weight.

But yet again, how come it has taken me until Kraftie was able to show me what the feeling was in words. How come the words to feelings don't dawn on me until I am roughly my age?

With anxiety, I heard of someone who had a stomache ulcer due to anxiety and had to go to hospital when I was younger. It was one of my mothers friends. I think I thought in my mind that if I don't have a stomache ulcer, I don't have anxiety? I thought in my head that only adults have that. (Anxiety).
So when I was asked if I get it I said "No" because in my mind, I did not associate it with the feeling that I often had. Oh.. I could merely think of going to school (Or later going to work) and I would have to rush to the toilet as I would not just have the runs, but I would have acid come out and complete green leaves etc. My behind would be burning as my stomach contents would shoot through... And it did not take any more then a few minutes. I mentioned this to my doctor once (Previous doctors I used to be with) and I got told off for saying it as my then doctor reaconed it was impossible to happen. I did not mention it again, but I knew it happened. I could even do it today!

But putting feelings to words. Uhmmm. Some feelings took me most of my life to find out, and yet others I have easily made the connections with the words that describe them.

Yet I am above average intelligence? Work that one out! Haha!

I get it. being trained to deny ones feelings from an early age, thinking feelings had no meaning and were not important (isn't that how a lot of us were trained?), being told how I felt and why I was doing things (that was not true, never was the right reasons they assigned me) etc etc. why would we NOT be confused and have a hard time sorting emotions or defining them. I had to have therapy to teach me.. I could not figure it out on my own. Many autistic people struggle to sort emotions of all sorts. Seems like a thing that many of us have. My problems sorting emotions might not be like any body elses, but on the other hand, lots of us do seem to have trouble sorting and identifying our feelings and recognizing the signs our bodies give us. I have heard there is a form of occupational therapy that can help with this. I have not checked it out. Cheering you on!

It is only with some feelings, and I did not realize that I had any issue in this regards. I didn't even know. Strange isn't it?