watching amy winehouse disturbed me

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Iv never been a fan of amy winehouse and i had no idea really what she went through but my husband was watching some videos of her singing when drunk or stoned and it disturbed me to watch because its exactly how i was when i was young i was a alcoholic for a time and smoked some pot sometimes and slept around with all sorts of guys,and i sung karaoke at bars and clubs complety drunk out my head
if i didnt get pregnant with my son (which made me stop the drinking and drugs i dont think i would be here today
now my past has come back to haunt me i shall never watch amy winehouse again

its just how she sung when ill from drugs/alcohol on stage oh my god this was exactly me

I never saw myself in her but watching her snort coke during a performance was disturbing and sad. But yeah I was reckless like you described your youth to be. Can’t change the past. All you can do is learn from it.

You have some very talented people who have very severe demons.....

Amy Winehouse seemed to be a person with a lot of talent. All wasted.

Watching Amy Winehouse destroy herself was like watching a train wreck in slow-motion, in that you can see what is happening, you know how it will inevitably end up, and there is nothing you can do to stop it without causing problems for yourself.

You are you, not her. And the past is history. Amy Winehouse was talented, yet she was an addict. And not all addicts survive addiction.
Admitting to triggers is a positive thing. Live in the present, and get help if you ever need it. Try to be the best version of your current self.

well i know it was a long time ago and everything but if i get reminded about it i get upset cos it wasnt a nice life
guys of all ages would get me drunk or drugged up to take advantage of me and stupid naive me just carried on letting them
i didnt always know whose bed i was going to wake up in i was just passed around london like an object

I think it’s possible to be a little bit traumatized by something like that. When you wake up and look back, it’s scary. I was sexually taken advantage of by my cousins when I was no where near going through puberty. We never had sex, I was too young to know what that was. But they asked me to do things of a sexual nature. I was too young and didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know I was supposed to say, NO!! ! I’m still traumatized by that. Do you think talking to a therapist could help? I might get therapy at some point for the things that traumatized me in my youth, so that I can move past the pain.

Also, if you’re feeling guilty for that, therapy could help get over the guilt and forgive yourself. I felt guilty for sleeping around and doing drugs too when I was young. It took me a long time to forgive myself. It’s just sometimes when people are young they’re living for the moment and not thinking things through. Naivety.

I did have therapy years ago when i was pregnant
I am getting on with my life now,im happily married and in a job as a bus driver so Ive totally come a long way but if i get reminded of my slut/alcoholic years i do shudder especially at the thought that i was stoned or drunk most of the time
I would wake up in a guys bed or passed out on the floor i mean just imagine how scary that is sometimes waking up in a strangers apartment you never been to
I was so scared and it is why id use the money these guys paid me for sex and drugs to buy more alcohol to escape and it went like that for years its a wonder i got out alive

I know, it’s horrifying. My life wasn’t much different back then. I’m lucky I survived.

But things are different now. You are different now and more safe.

I know how you feel. I hate my younger self too. I know I didn't get into drink or drugs but I was still cringy. But I was the opposite to you, I was so stubborn that I didn't want to leave my comfort zone and change my lifestyle but then I got depressed about it and beat myself up about it.

I was behind socially as a teenager, and as a young adult I kept having rage outbursts that upset my family. Things changed once I met my boyfriend, I seemed to have broken out of my bad mental health problems and became a much better person to be around.

i didnt have a home of my own for a few years i just stayed at different guys places and just moved my clothes and make up around with me
yea i looked like a typical whore -- overdone make up and dressed in miniskirts...
I often woke up in some random guys bed without knowing how i even got there and my make up was smudged all over my face which means i must have had a night full of drugs,drink and sex but then start drinking alcohol again the minute i woke up
it didnt help that my own boss allowed me to turn up for work drunk and he even bought me bottles of alcohol to drink while i was at work yes it was wrong of him they only made me permanantly drunk so they could take advantage
but while i was drunk i was like a extraverted nt but also erratic but not aggressive

never do i touch alcohol now

Yep....you can help other people who are tempted to live "the lifestyle."

But aren’t you proud of yourself that you survived that?
So many could not!
But you were determined and smart and strong, and you climbed out of a terrible pit!
You lived through it!
Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Whitney Houston...all tragically dead, all famous, surrounded by people who COULD have helped them if they let them, but YOU did your own struggling and fighting and climbing and you made it!
Look back at your past and be proud!
There are so many who were not able to survive and surmount what you did!