XSara wrote:
As autistic people we struggle to express our emotions, we always have to force ourself to appear sociable by producing facial expressions. We also have sensory issues that cause us to stim in embarassing ways sometimes, and we try to hide that. If we want to fit in I think we have to act like we're somebody else, somebody cool. That's the only way, I think, people could find us interesting. In my life, everytime i acted like myself, i was ostracized. Everytime i acted like somebody else i made friends. I wish i could be myself with people but it doesn't seem possible. I care too much about having friends and not being alone and useless.
So is people saying to us "be yourself" , bad advice? What are your thoughts about it? I know that there could be many points of view. Thank you
I grew doing exactly what you did and to some degree up until I was about roughly 25.
Acting like someone else, you can make friends but does this well and truly bring us happiness if we have to constantly walk around with a mask on? I'd rather be myself and if I gain friends and they accept me for who I am, that's far better than them being friends with me for the image I've built myself and then finding out that this is not who I am. Already risking breaking friendships this way also. Also not great for the mental health.
Here's a piece of advice which may help you in a long run. Learn to embrace yourself and love yourself and all else follows. The mindset shouldn't be gaining as many friends, because as we grow older, all this stuff just becomes irrelevant. In a time of crisis, you will find out of that many hundreds, only a very few will be there.
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