Women Are Rarely Direct With You About Not Being Interested

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Muse933277
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02 May 2021, 9:56 am

This is something that iv'e learned from attempting to date and find a girlfriend. Women will rarely be direct with you and tell you whether or not they're interested in you or not. If you're looking for women to be honest with you, you're in for a lot of disappointment.

Here's a good example. When you ask a girl out, a lot of women will say they're "too busy" to meet up with you. Most of the time, this is a load of horse crap. I guarantee you this woman is probably "too busy" netflixing on the couch or browsing instagram. When a woman says she's really busy, what this means most of the time is that she's not interested in you and she's trying to figure out a way to let you down easy which of course in my opinion, this is a stupid ass way to do it. BUT here's a way to make sure. Next time a woman says she's too busy, text her and say "When would be a good time when you're not busy?" A woman who's trying to let you down will either not respond back, will give a vague response such as "i'll let you know" and never get back to you, try to dodge the question, or simply be straight up with you.


Here's another good example of how women absolutely SUCK at being direct. Sometimes when you ask a woman out, either she'll try to invite her friends along or if you two are in the same social group, she'll try to invite the whole group. Once again, this is a sign she's not interested and I'll explain why down below. You see, by a woman's logic (which is good logic in this case), if multiple people are going out together, then it's not really a date and it's just a friendly hangout. An actual "date" is usually just two people and and woman who's not interested in a guy will oftentimes try to avoid being alone with him (unless it's a part of her job). So if a guy who she's not interested in tries to ask her out, she'll try to turn it into a group outing because that's her way of friendzoning his ass.


And the classic "I'm not looking for a relationship with your ugly ass right now"



rdos
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02 May 2021, 10:46 am

Muse933277 wrote:
This is something that iv'e learned from attempting to date and find a girlfriend. Women will rarely be direct with you and tell you whether or not they're interested in you or not. If you're looking for women to be honest with you, you're in for a lot of disappointment.


Not my impression. The one's I've clicked with and where it was mutual, it was pretty obvious.

OTOH, if you look for the wrong type of women, then it's pretty logical that you get little to no interest.

Muse933277 wrote:
Here's a good example. When you ask a girl out, a lot of women will say they're "too busy" to meet up with you.


Well, if they are compatible you should expect that answer, and if they are not, you will get it too because they probably feel that you are not for them.

Muse933277 wrote:
Most of the time, this is a load of horse crap. I guarantee you this woman is probably "too busy" netflixing on the couch or browsing instagram.


Busy means not interested, so why do you persist?

Muse933277 wrote:
Here's another good example of how women absolutely SUCK at being direct. Sometimes when you ask a woman out, either she'll try to invite her friends along or if you two are in the same social group, she'll try to invite the whole group. Once again, this is a sign she's not interested and I'll explain why down below. You see, by a woman's logic (which is good logic in this case), if multiple people are going out together, then it's not really a date and it's just a friendly hangout. An actual "date" is usually just two people and and woman who's not interested in a guy will oftentimes try to avoid being alone with him (unless it's a part of her job). So if a guy who she's not interested in tries to ask her out, she'll try to turn it into a group outing because that's her way of friendzoning his ass.


Not necessarily like you describe it. It could also be a safety issue, and particularly if she is autistic and have trust issues.

Even worse, this setup is perfect for autistic people to get to know each other for the purpose of a possible future relationship, and your logic therefore is pretty flawed.



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02 May 2021, 11:48 am

Muse933277 wrote:
And the classic "I'm not looking for a relationship with your ugly ass right now"

To be fair, I don't know many people looking to date unattractive donkeys.

Edit: Joking about the "ugly ass", not calling you a donkey!


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02 May 2021, 5:43 pm

Women are not always direct, but if you know what to look for, you cannot go wrong.

"Yes" means "Yes".
Anything other than an obvious "Yes" means "No".

If she does not say "Yes", and you think she is just waiting for you to coax her, forget it.  If she is the kind of women to play mind games with you (and a small fraction of them will), then she is not worth your interest; and if you are the kind of man who will play those Incel/PUA mind games on a woman, then maybe you do not deserve a date in the first place.

Just smile, say "Thank you", and move on.


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03 May 2021, 2:05 am

Fnord wrote:
"Yes" means "Yes".
Anything other than an obvious "Yes" means "No".
I did not know that for sure until I joined this forum & started hanging here in the L&D section a lot. I honestly thought the "I'm Busy" phrase was sometimes cuz they really were busy & I would ask again later. This is a major reason I'm NOT compatible with NT women. I'm waaay too direct, straightforward, & literal to read between the lines, especially during the moment. Every now & then I suddenly have epiphanies where I suddenly realize a screw-up misunderstanding social blunder I had like 15 years or more ago. I'm a very slow learner & I've gotten LOTS of headaches trying to understand NT behavior :wall: It's very frustrating trying my best & failing miserably. I guess I should not care about that now since I'm in a long-term relationship with someone who is direct but I still want to learn from my mistakes & do better with various social things.


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03 May 2021, 4:59 am

Muse933277 wrote:
This is something that iv'e learned from attempting to date and find a girlfriend. Women will rarely be direct with you and tell you whether or not they're interested in you or not. If you're looking for women to be honest with you, you're in for a lot of disappointment.

Here's a good example. When you ask a girl out, a lot of women will say they're "too busy" to meet up with you. Most of the time, this is a load of horse crap. I guarantee you this woman is probably "too busy" netflixing on the couch or browsing instagram. When a woman says she's really busy, what this means most of the time is that she's not interested in you and she's trying to figure out a way to let you down easy which of course in my opinion, this is a stupid ass way to do it. BUT here's a way to make sure. Next time a woman says she's too busy, text her and say "When would be a good time when you're not busy?" A woman who's trying to let you down will either not respond back, will give a vague response such as "i'll let you know" and never get back to you, try to dodge the question, or simply be straight up with you.


Here's another good example of how women absolutely SUCK at being direct. Sometimes when you ask a woman out, either she'll try to invite her friends along or if you two are in the same social group, she'll try to invite the whole group. Once again, this is a sign she's not interested and I'll explain why down below. You see, by a woman's logic (which is good logic in this case), if multiple people are going out together, then it's not really a date and it's just a friendly hangout. An actual "date" is usually just two people and and woman who's not interested in a guy will oftentimes try to avoid being alone with him (unless it's a part of her job). So if a guy who she's not interested in tries to ask her out, she'll try to turn it into a group outing because that's her way of friendzoning his ass.


And the classic "I'm not looking for a relationship with your ugly ass right now"


All these seem like valid assumptions to me, right on the money. Another I'd add is that it might not be you, it may be her own insecurity.

I have been amused in the past by the most disgusting and repulsive Toads of women pre-emptively notifying me that they were not interested, in the most ostentatious and public manner, or ceasing contact (from just being acquaintances), not because I asked them out, or made any inviting gesture in that direction, but because (I thnk) they realized, deep down, I couldn't get it up for them in a million years.

:lol:

It's all about their ego, man. The womens are just like the mens - got to protect their precious little ego from the ghastly horror of Rejection.


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03 May 2021, 5:24 am

Perhaps it would help us dense guys get the hint if the women would flash an engagement ring :lol: :arrow:


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03 May 2021, 8:24 am

nick007 wrote:
Perhaps it would help us dense guys get the hint if the women would flash an engagement ring...
Perhaps it would help if "dense guys" would not expect women to even give them the time of day.

Better yet, it would help even more for guys to work on improving themselves before getting into the dating game.


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04 May 2021, 2:18 am

Your OP does kind of suggest that women do this because they are dishonest. But, from what I understand, many women don't reject dudes directly because they have faced aggressive reactions from men they have rejected in the past. It's a matter of personal safety.

But yes, your OP is true. I've also gotten the "I can't tonight, maybe later" and then replied with "ok sure, just hit me up when blah blah blah." They never get back. It sucks, and honestly it hurts a little just getting ghosted like that, but having an angry guy harass you also probably hurts.



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04 May 2021, 5:54 am

MidnightRose wrote:
Your OP does kind of suggest that women do this because they are dishonest. But, from what I understand, many women don't reject dudes directly because they have faced aggressive reactions from men they have rejected in the past. It's a matter of personal safety.

But yes, your OP is true. I've also gotten the "I can't tonight, maybe later" and then replied with "ok sure, just hit me up when blah blah blah." They never get back. It sucks, and honestly it hurts a little just getting ghosted like that, but having an angry guy harass you also probably hurts.
I can understand & respect that women need to be carefull when rejecting guys in person but women can be indirect rejecting guys online as well. Completely ignoring a guy & blocking a guy online would make more sense to me than putting off making plans or postponding plans indefinately while continuing to still chat with the guy if the woman is not a catfish & real about her info & stuff.


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04 May 2021, 8:17 am

MidnightRose wrote:
Your OP does kind of suggest that women do this because they are dishonest...
Incels seem to engage in this type of irrational thinking a lot.  Instead of blaming themselves for being unattractive, they will accuse ALL women of being dishonest (among other evils) -- sort of like when misogyny meets "Sour Grapes".


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04 May 2021, 8:50 am

What you need to do with these women is if they don't want to be with you, stop messaging them. Say look we can chat over a drink or going for a walk. Don't be friends with them. All this nonsense about saying they're busy etc. Say fine give me a call when you wanna hang out. If she messages you any nonsense asking to catch up don't keep messaging her back and say oh we can catch up doing this or doing that. Don't let them catch up on social media or by text.



Last edited by Champagne supernova on 04 May 2021, 9:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Muse933277
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04 May 2021, 9:02 am

Some females are experts at leading you on; some even intentionally do this for their own benefit and to take advantage of you. Not all of them are like this but you'd be naïve to think all females are nice honest people.


I'll give you an example of female behavior where they're clearly taking advantage of you.


Example #1. John knows a girl by the name of Sally who he met in a college class and who he also has a crush on. He texts her almost everyday, he agrees to help out with her homework, buys her things, and generally agrees to help out with almost anything Sally asks for.


Sally KNOWS that John has a crush on her but she is not interested in a romantic and sexual relationship with him. However, Sally knows that if she tells John about her lack of interest, he'll stop doing favors for her, so she never explicitly tells John that she doesn't like him. To keep John around, Sally has to be nice enough to him to make him think that he has a shot with her so he'll continue to buy her things and do her favors.



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04 May 2021, 9:04 am

MidnightRose wrote:
Your OP does kind of suggest that women do this because they are dishonest. But, from what I understand, many women don't reject dudes directly because they have faced aggressive reactions from men they have rejected in the past. It's a matter of personal safety.

But yes, your OP is true. I've also gotten the "I can't tonight, maybe later" and then replied with "ok sure, just hit me up when blah blah blah." They never get back. It sucks, and honestly it hurts a little just getting ghosted like that, but having an angry guy harass you also probably hurts.


Agree'd . Personal Safety .

Unfortunately , Often the Christ is viewed as the Lucifer . Even if it's blatantly a contradiction on reality .

with Women Comfort Plays a Big Part . You May Look like Jack Nicholson But have a heart of Gold and Protection .. but Held at arms Length .. Whilst A Johnny Depp May Be a Serial Abuser but manages to slip the net .

i think for a woman , they chip away until a conclusion is built .Either they trustbYou or they Don't .



cbd
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04 May 2021, 9:08 am

. as for the rest of the topic .. Flakeyness or Lack of Response , this can be an easing out a situation .

You Gotta think .. you really have to grab a Woman's attention .. amongst a crowd of Lurking Orbitors .

If She likes you , she's not gonna p**** foot around .

Don't ask for permission to set up dates either . suggest a time and place . if it's not happening , doesn't matter what you say or do ..

But don't view genuine reasons as blowing you off . Remember Women can be Uncertain Too .

Know when to exit .. Concerntrate on People who do give response



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04 May 2021, 9:08 am

Muse933277 wrote:
Some females are experts at leading you on; some even intentionally do this for their own benefit and to take advantage of you. Not all of them are like this ...
So why obsess about a small minority?  Ignore them, forget them, and move on.


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