Question if I am stupid for being learning disabled.

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Sweetleaf
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02 Jul 2021, 11:27 pm

No...I also have a learning disability in math, lol not sure what it is called the neurologist who diagnosed my autism also mentioned that but even she was a bit stumped on what exactly it was, but I certainly demonstrated an inability to do math.

I mean I was kinda lucky I was able to get diagnosed autism through the children's hospital in my state, because I had a bit of history with them when I was a lot younger they were doing blood tests and thought I may have had MD of some sort or something. Turns out nothing like that, just a slight genetic mutation that doesn't effect my health. But well I was still technically a patient there so me and my mom set it up to get an autism diagnoses from there and it worked out.


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cyberdad
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02 Jul 2021, 11:36 pm

FranzOren wrote:
I don't know how to do basic math. Does that mean that I am stupid? I feel very depressed.


My daughter is a math genius but her social skills are way behind her classmates. If she had the choice she'd ditch math to be more socially acceptable.



FranzOren
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03 Jul 2021, 12:09 am

It makes sense.



ToughDiamond
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03 Jul 2021, 12:44 am

cornerpiece wrote:
One thing I regret is that I spent my life trying to "fix" my weaknesses instead of focusing on strengths. Yes it is good that now I can get along with NTs but.... I've put decades of effort into it and for what? Just so that I am "less abnormal"? "More average"? Was it worth it?

I am envious of those AS who didn't give a sh*t about what others say and just did what they do best, and became exceptional.

So, find something you are good at, and focus on excelling at it.

Some truth in that I think. There's also a middle way - it's possible to put some effort into both. Indeed I would think it very hard to sublimate one's identity completely and to try to become a perfect "fake NT," and certainly very painful. There's always been a part of me that insists on life being acceptably comfortable and fun. And to just focus on what you do best and ignore whatever anybody else thinks might not be sustainable for long - how many people out there who never compromise with others at all actually survive long enough to become exceptional? I think there's a balance point somewhere.



cyberdad
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03 Jul 2021, 1:27 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Indeed I would think it very hard to sublimate one's identity completely and to try to become a perfect "fake NT," and certainly very painful.


It might interest you to know that most NTs are fake as well. There is a narrative/script about how one is supposed to be behave in a social setting and also a work setting.

Most NTs have to put on an act in order to please others. We all carry dissonance about having to keep up appearances but its a necessary evil.

Very few people are authentic to themselves, although Aspies like Elon Musk have done it but then he still follows social rules but then can afford to reveal some of his "true self" now that he's a billionaire.



AprilR
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03 Jul 2021, 5:12 am

What does it mean to be stupid? Does it depress you because you feel like your life is worthless? If so, there are lots of intellectually disabled people in the world.It must mean they are worthless and their life has no meaning also. Being stupid is not a crime.



cyberdad
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03 Jul 2021, 5:15 am

AprilR wrote:
What does it mean to be stupid? Does it depress you because you feel like your life is worthless? If so, there are lots of intellectually disabled people in the world.It must mean they are worthless and their life has no meaning also. Being stupid is not a crime.


I think Franz has internalising social stigma about having a learning disability. A lot of young men and women experience this.



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03 Jul 2021, 5:25 am

cyberdad wrote:
AprilR wrote:
What does it mean to be stupid? Does it depress you because you feel like your life is worthless? If so, there are lots of intellectually disabled people in the world.It must mean they are worthless and their life has no meaning also. Being stupid is not a crime.


I think he's internalising stigma about having a learning disability.


I also think so. It is hard to stop seeing yourself from hateful ableist people's point of view but it is possible. I hope and wish He can feel good about himself too. Even if you have the lowest iq in the world you should have the right to feel happy and like yourself.



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03 Jul 2021, 7:35 am

cyberdad wrote:
It might interest you to know that most NTs are fake as well. There is a narrative/script about how one is supposed to be behave in a social setting and also a work setting.

Most NTs have to put on an act in order to please others. We all carry dissonance about having to keep up appearances but its a necessary evil.

Very few people are authentic to themselves, although Aspies like Elon Musk have done it but then he still follows social rules but then can afford to reveal some of his "true self" now that he's a billionaire.

True, there's probably more faking in the NT world than in ours, but they don't feel as bad about it as we do. And a lot of the time they don't intend to be taken at their word. I've felt for decades that the best definition of lying is deliberately giving a false impression. Though I'm not saying they never do that.

I think the NT mind is often inherently more sublimated to the hive mind, so maybe they don't feel the pain of losing their identities to society as much as we do, on average.



cyberdad
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03 Jul 2021, 7:58 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
I think the NT mind is often inherently more sublimated to the hive mind, so maybe they don't feel the pain of losing their identities to society as much as we do, on average.


The hive mind is a science fiction concept. I think NTs i) engage more in social discourse and ii) pay attention to social norms. In this respect they choose to affirm their connection to the wider collection of people they see as their desired social networks (for example football or video game fans).



ToughDiamond
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03 Jul 2021, 9:23 am

cyberdad wrote:
The hive mind is a science fiction concept.

You may see it like that. I see it as a fair metaphor for what actually happens.



HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jul 2021, 9:31 am

FranzOren wrote:
I don't know how to do basic math. Does that mean that I am stupid? I feel very depressed.

I have dyscalculia and also find even basic math difficult. There are other things I'm okay at, even if I do them a bit slowly, so I don't think that having a learning disability makes people stupid.


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FranzOren
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03 Jul 2021, 9:33 am

Thank you! It makes sense.



firemonkey
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03 Jul 2021, 9:55 am

Quote:
(e.g. CS Lewis - clearly with extremely high intelligence in the linguistic domain - was utterly unable to pass the school certificate mathematics exam despite many attempts - probably set to be passable by the top ten-fifteen percent of the population.)


https://iqpersonalitygenius.blogspot.co ... gh-iq.html


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HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jul 2021, 10:03 am

firemonkey wrote:
Quote:
(e.g. CS Lewis - clearly with extremely high intelligence in the linguistic domain - was utterly unable to pass the school certificate mathematics exam despite many attempts - probably set to be passable by the top ten-fifteen percent of the population.)


https://iqpersonalitygenius.blogspot.co ... gh-iq.html

I couldn't pass my states math exam for high schoolers, so after multiple attempts my counselor had to give me a waiver for it or I wouldn't have been able to even graduate HS. Honestly, even though most people can pass math exams I don't know a lot of people that actually do great on them. lol


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 49

Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


FranzOren
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03 Jul 2021, 10:04 am

Thank you!