Need educated on non-binary

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I want to put it out there that I am a fairly androgynous, masculine woman who is a lesbian... but I don’t truly understand non-binary.. I can understand being transgender, and I have nothing against what anyone wants to do or who they are inside.. but, in my mind being non-binary is just not fitting into the social constructs that people put on Men and Women. Being a man or a woman to me is just your body type... and as a woman who fits practically 0 constructs placed on women.. I am okay with being a woman. I’ve felt like neither gender before because of these stereotypes placed on women.. that women have to wear skirts, dresses, jewelry, care about their hair, or romance.. I’ve felt alienated from my gender because I like dressing masculine, hanging out with men, and pretty much everything that falls into the typical male category... but that does not mean I am not a woman.. that means I don’t fit a box made by society. Is non binary created for people who fit neither box and feel alienated? Because I do, and I’m not non binary.. I’m a woman who knows society’s boxes are stupid and bunk the stereotypes. Woman doesn’t have to mean anything except the way I was born. Nothing but a word on my birth certificate.. but it is indeed there, and I don’t see how we can pretend like gender doesn’t exist?

I'm half awake here, trying to get through my first cup of coffee. Still, I'm going to try to put together something like coherent thoughts.

I'm non binary. For me, while I do find gender stereotypes to be completely ridiculous, they aren't what put me into the non binary category. It goes deeper than that. You mention in your post that you are a woman, that you are okay with it regardless of how society says you should look or behave (paraphrasing here, correct me if I misunderstood). For me, I can't say that. My body might be one of a woman, but the rest of me isn't.

I tend to be more stereotypically masculine in speech, mannerisms, hell most of the time in appearances (though in all honestly, I look damn good in a dress and I will gladly wear them now and then) but despite me being more 'boyish' in outwards appearances to the casual onlooker, I never have felt like a man either. I have no dysphoria where my body is concerned.

I really don't care either way how people perceive me. It's not about other people for me, maybe that's why I don't care much about stereotypes, all of that is largely irrelevant to me. For me it comes down to how I think/feel about myself. And for me, I'm not someone who fits neatly into the male/female binary. I'm not either of those. So yeah, for me it's not a category I fit into because I fit neither and feel alienated. For me it's a personal thing, less concerned with others and more concerned about the self. And at the end of the day, I simply don't feel like a man or a woman. I'm just me.

I'm not trying to pretend my birth gender doesn't exist. It clearly does and it has impacted me on more than one occasion, for both better and worse. It's a part of my life experience. But it doesn't lessen the disconnect I have to feeling like a woman or comfortably identifying as one. I could just as easily wear a rabbit costume all day, everyday, and try to connect to rabbit-ness. It's not gonna happen.

And I have no idea if any of this is making sense or resonating with you. If I'm lucky, the lack of caffeine in my system isn't wrecking my ability to talk this morning. I never can tell if it does until I go back and reread later...

And as it goes, standard disclaimer here, this is just me and my thoughts on it all. You meet one nonbinary person, you met one nonbinary person. There are more of us roaming about this site, and they all could very well feel very differently than I do and from each other.

I assume “non binary” (binary means 2) means your gender you identify with doesn’t fit neatly into typical gender identities i.e male female.

There’s been so many labels created that even those who it’s meant for don’t even know anymore.

The key is while your welcome to identify as whatever you wish try not to get angry at others who many not be aware of what it means, as some unfortunately do.

The word woman often comes with thoughts.. that’s programmed into your brain by society... woman only has to mean how you were born.. a title given to you at birth based on your reproductive organs... how you act, what you wear, how you look is all entirely up to you.. to me it’s strictly society that’s caused this non-binary thing... and people are so confused when I say this because they think I’m non binary often... but I was obviously born a woman? And what is wrong with that? Society is what has made me confused at times.. society and its stereotypes and ideas on what women have to look like and be. Woman is just what was written down on my birth certificate when I was born and doesn’t define me, that doesn’t mean I’m non binary. Society is the problem and the reason I have issues with my gender.. that should change not my gender. I’ve felt like not a woman because of “darlings” and “honeys” from condescending men.. but it was these men who were making me feel lesser... it’s all society.

← Gynotropic cis-male who enjoys baking and gardening, and who gets along better with cats than with people.

Professional sports?  PFEH!  A waste of time and media attention.  Same for NASCAR and WWF events.

To some people, this make me "queer as a three-dollar bill".  Those people do not matter.

Am I strictly binary?  Maybe ... maybe not.  Why should anyone else care?

I thought nonbinary meant the person does not identify as a man or as a woman. But that is just a thought I had. I really know nothing about it.

I've always felt like a woman (I didn't know there were other options) but I identify with the OP in that, I grew up preferring outside to inside, wanting to be camping, wanting to learn how to build stuff, climbing trees, exploring swamps, getting dirty. The only reason I wore a dress to school was because it was required back then. As soon as I was out of school it was jeans and tee shirt. I've never been interested in or worn make-up.

I grew up extremely resentful that I was prohibited from doing things boys did, and was denied careers and other activities which were reserved for men. I resented the privileges granted men. But I did not want to be a man.

I've always wondered why people can't just be who they are, with whatever interests they have, with whomever it is they want to love and just be done with it.

I had always thought that "binary" in this context meant that if you were male you had to conform to the "Manly Man" stereotype in every way (publicly, at least), and that women had to be "girly" and submissive.

I have since learned that "non-binary" thinking means different things to different people, the most common belief being that gender roles are not determined by "sex assigned at birth", but by what each individual feels most comfortable with.

Certainly, there is more to it than my own simplistic view.

↑ All of what you said makes intuitive sense to me, but only because of my own personal experiences.  I am an engineer, not a biologist; so my opinions on binary v non-binary are only that -- opinions.  I must rely on the expert opinions of medical and behavioral professionals.  Even then, critical thinking must be applied.

My pronouns are "He", "Him", and "His Majesty".

When I first encountered the terms "non-binary," "gender fluid," "gender queer," and the whole "what are your preferred pronouns?" thing, my reaction was: "Huh? Oh great, another set of ideas I have to figure out in my old age if I don't want to offend people or be considered un-PC."

I always felt androgynous in many ways but I always identified as a woman.

Aside from one's gender conforming to society's roles or ideas of self, which are more psychological issues, there is a biological issue that makes it relevant on medical forms to ask about gender. Some diseases are more common in one gender or the other, and many drugs are metabolized differently. A biological woman needs certain types of health care regardless of her roles, relationships, and self image.