Can an autistic dude have neurotypical girlfriend

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Mitko
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04 Jul 2021, 6:38 am

Our I should look for one with mental disorder. I call it disorder because it's impacting my life negatively since as long as I remember.



Mountain Goat
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04 Jul 2021, 6:46 am

My advice is to just look for a girlfriend regardless of if they are on the spectrum or not. Many have ended up with the ideal partner who may be or not be on the spectrum. Regardless of if the other person is on the spectrum or not, both of you will need to compromize somewhere somewhere along the line. It is what courting is for. It is a time to get to know each other without rushing in.
And most people will date a few different girlfriends before they find the right one for them. Some are lucky and find one straight away. Others are still looking...

Just enjoy dating when you do date.

And yes. Of course an autistic dud date a nerotypical girlfriend. It may not be easy at times, but for many it does work out as each person covers each others weaknesses with their strengths, so yes, it can work out. It all depends on love each has for each other to overcome the differences and difficulties.

It does not always work, but neither does finding a girl on the spectrum always work, and one never knows unless one tries.



that1weirdgrrrl
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04 Jul 2021, 8:49 pm

Most certainly. There are a few who are happily married to NTs on here.


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DW_a_mom
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04 Jul 2021, 10:49 pm

I don't think you need to limit your dating pool, but I believe it could be helpful to get a handle on the differences in expectations so you can have a frank conversation early on and avoid having your actions and words misinterpreted.

Some common problem areas:
1. The NT not understanding that the ND partner may not remember and/or prioritize birthdays and landmark occasions.
2. The NT not understanding the frankness that comes with ASD and getting hurt easily.
3. The NT not fully verbalizing wants and needs but assuming the ND partner will know from various signals.


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13 Jul 2021, 11:13 am

Yes, I've been with my NT partner for nearly 8 years.

I must be doing something right for her to have had genuine compassion for me. :lol:


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funeralxempire
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13 Jul 2021, 11:36 am

I've dated far more women who weren't diagnosed with ASD than those who were. I've dated a few I've had suspicions about too.


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ironpony
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13 Jul 2021, 4:36 pm

It's hard to say for me. I am autistic and I have had relationships with NTs but they have never worked out so now I am starting to have doubts myself.



funeralxempire
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13 Jul 2021, 4:43 pm

ironpony wrote:
It's hard to say for me. I am autistic and I have had relationships with NTs but they have never worked out so now I am starting to have doubts myself.


Wouldn't it be fair to say that most relationships don't work out, but that it's hard to notice that because most of them that can be observed at any given moment are working out when observed.


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MarcDC
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13 Jul 2021, 4:57 pm

I'm married for 21 years now, and we have a daughter of 19 and a son of 16.
Our children think my wife and I will make a cute older couple.

I do think what made my wife prefers in me is the brutal honesty. Her mother is a manipulating person, if she's not narcissistic, it would come very close, attention seeking, never content, always comparing her with others around. And with me she got a positive clear confirmation that she's fine no matter.

Probably not a fully positive reply, but my wife is not autistic, although she's an introvert, she does like elegant clothes, loves shopping, even just for the fun of it, she gets energised from a trip to the city... unbelievable...
In a sense she was exposed to lesser traits of human behaviour from her mother, so that marked her...
It also Marc'ed her... :lol:



kraftiekortie
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13 Jul 2021, 5:02 pm

How can you get white Belgian hot chocolate cheap? My wife loves the stuff....



MarcDC
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13 Jul 2021, 5:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
How can you get white Belgian hot chocolate cheap? My wife loves the stuff....

Is this what you had in mind? They're called manon-pralines
https://webshop.chocolates-sweets.be/nl ... -950g.html

this here is a the plain white chocolate:
https://nl.cotedor.be/onze-producten/ta ... &provider={D193998A-4A6D-4EA5-BAA8-209357B27A09}&categoryId=12545

not sure if they ship oversees.

This is also pretty popular over here
https://nl.cotedor.be/onze-producten/pr ... &provider={D193998A-4A6D-4EA5-BAA8-209357B27A09}&categoryId=12552



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Jul 2021, 12:53 am

Mitko wrote:
Our I should look for one with mental disorder. I call it disorder because it's impacting my life negatively since as long as I remember.

Ya I think men on the spectrum have the potential to date NT women.I have.I think a lot of it depends on various other factors though in addition to being on the spectrum.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jul 2021, 4:56 am

Thanks, Marc.



MarcDC
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14 Jul 2021, 5:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Thanks, Marc.

this here used to be my father's favourite, and I admit, it's also my go to... praliné with cashew nuts...

https://www.ah.be/producten/product/wi2 ... ssert-58... at 15 euro per kilo...
a kilo is the weigt of a liter of water... a liter is a quarter of a gallon...

also on topic, sweet dreams are made of these...



kraftiekortie
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14 Jul 2021, 6:25 am

The answer to the OP: it happens all the time.

Antwerp, or Brussels?



MarcDC
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14 Jul 2021, 4:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The answer to the OP: it happens all the time.

Antwerp, or Brussels?

I live closer to Brussels, in the Dutch speaking Area.
We also have two nice cities called Ghent and Bruges... Bruges is very popular for tourists, Ghent is a gem in my opinion, a very nice city to live also.