I have no idea what is going on

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,878

17 Jul 2021, 11:52 am

So we have a neighbor that i am on friendly terms with. We talked about 5 or 6 times maybe and he got my number once.

After 2 years or such he messaged me out of the blue and invited me for a drink. we messaged 0 times before and he just said hi, are you in the city, do you want to go for a drink? In my country, asking someone you don't know well out for a drink is kind of weird, it is def. Not a typical first date.

Also He is probably ten years older than me, is divorced and has a son. I think we have about 0 things in common.

Truth be told, i just want to be friends with him, as i don't have many friends. But i don't think that is what he has in mind.

Basically i am very scared that i will be left alone after my parents die and i sometimes feel like i have to "catch up to other people" by having relationships. So i said yes when this guy messaged me. But i am pretty sure i have no romantic interest in him.

What do you think i should do?



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 40,188

17 Jul 2021, 11:57 am

When are you going April?

Please be safe. Stay in a public place etc. Message us when you get back.

I think there's nothing wrong with getting to know someone, especially a neighbour. It might be nice to get out and have a drink and relax a bit. If he tries anything shady, I'll have him removed immediately.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,878

17 Jul 2021, 12:05 pm

Thank you Isabella. We will meet on Monday. I am also a little scared. I don't want to get in his car. I will insist we stay in the neighborhood. I also told him i don't want to drink.

I think we probably have nothing in common. I will probably see him just this once and won't accept if He asks for a second date.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 77,148
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Jul 2021, 12:16 pm

Please don’t get involved with a man whom you don’t fancy. I’ve done that….with some women…and it’s got me nowhere!

You have good qualifications. You can take care of yourself.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 17 Jul 2021, 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,878

17 Jul 2021, 12:21 pm

^You are right i will probably find a way to ditch him. I will get my second shot of Pfizer in the monday morning so maybe i will use that as an excuse.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 77,148
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Jul 2021, 12:26 pm

Glad you’re getting the second dose!



that1weirdgrrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 868
Location: Between my dreams and your fantasies

17 Jul 2021, 12:28 pm

It is within your right to tell him that you enjoy his friendship but do not desire anything romantic.


_________________
...what do the public, the great unobservant public, who could hardly tell a weaver by his tooth or a compositor by his left thumb, care about the finer shades of analysis and deduction!


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 40,188

17 Jul 2021, 12:29 pm

I'm not suggesting he's a narcissist, but the end of this video has some really good advice for protecting yourself when you get to know new people. I thought you'd like the video regardless because you like psychology.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,878

17 Jul 2021, 12:39 pm

@kraftie: thank you, i am really glad as well.

@that1weirdgrrrl: thank you so much for saying that, i always thought so as well and it is nice to hear it from another person. I am someone that doesn't have many friends and making new connections makes me happy but i wouldn't want to enter a relationship because of that.

@Isabella: I have trouble establishing and protecting boundaries so this video is a godsend. Thank you so much, i am sure it will help me a lot to prepare myself before the date.