R by Deception

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Trigger warning etc. - save Cornflake some trouble and don't print the R word.

As I was gallivanting across the evil (conservative) sections of the internet - shortly after high-fiving Satan, this video crossed my path. I've heard the term "R by deception" before, but it was a case from Israel some years ago before Trans was much of a thing. As I recall it was a Jewish woman who had slept with a Palestinian man under the assumption or deliberate pretence that he was Jewish - I believe he was convicted.

Now the term is back, but in a different context. Lesbians "tricked" into sleeping with "women" with penises, straight men traumatised for life. Ah the perils of 21st century life.



So PPR, should trans disclosure be legally mandated?

It's probably a best practice to follow.
That said, addressing transphobia is probably also part of the solution.

If you're so fragile that sleeping with someone who's trans shatters your identity that's more you problem than a partner problem.

For those who prefer reading, this is one of the articles/cases brought up by the video:

Julie Bindel When is a R not a R

Josie* (not her real name) is a university student in England who was r*d in early 2018. Last year Josie’s mother Elsie* contacted me to ask for advice and support following the collapse of her daughter’s r*e trial. During a night out with some female friends, Josie, a lesbian, started chatting to Marsha* who later joined the group in going on to a lesbian nightclub. Marsha could not find their hotel at the end of the evening and seemed quite drunk and somewhat disorientated.

Marsha “passed very well” for a woman on the night of the r*e, according to Josie. Conveniently, however, Marsha did not “pass” during their attendance at court, but was dressed and presented in a far more traditional male way. With the benefit of hindsight, this makes complete sense given the defence strategy used during the trial.

The defence used in court, which led to an acquittal, was that Josie was well aware that Marsha was a trans woman, and that Josie reported Marsha for r*e as a result of being “transphobic”. The defence claimed that if the jury couldn’t be persuaded that the defendant in court passed convincingly as a woman, then Josie must have consented, and therefore a r*e cannot have taken place.

“Marsha gave no indication that she was trans and kept referring to a couple of YouTube bloggers who are lesbians,” Josie said. “You don’t get to use your femininity to gain the trust of a female and then use your masculinity to destroy them,” she added. “I felt and still do feel an extra sense of violation, at being accused of being transphobic in court after being brave enough to speak my truth as a victim of r*e.”

Ah I believe this would get you called a "superstraightphobe" on twitter nowadays.

Or more honestly, a transphobophobe.

I would have thought that there might have been something if the accusation of rape was because Josie was too drunk to consent to sex, but the accusation of rape for just being transgender, kind of seems off and leaning towards the trans panic defence. Marsha also might have needed to be a bit more forward for her own safety, such as this case of being accused of rape. And whether Josie could have and might have withdrawn consent at any time, that whether Marsha listened.

Super Straight is not a thing, neither being phobic of such. It mostly just a rebrand of transphobia. Sure, people can have a genital preference, but it doesn't make people more or less straight or whatever.

I would think there are three circumstances where I would consider “rape by deception” to be a valid concept:

- When one person agrees to sex contingent on the use of birth control or the non-fertility of the other person, but birth control is knowingly not used or the person lied about being infertile.

- When one person agrees to sex contingent upon the other person using protection or not having an STD, but the other person knowingly did not use protection or knowingly misled the other about their STD status.

- When someone consents to have sex with one person, but they are secretly switched with another (see: Alex Hepburn)

I don’t think it is immoral to not mention your sexuality, gender, race, religion, political views, etc before having sex. Obviously if your genitals are dramatically different to what someone might expect then some sort of mature discussion makes sense, and you should be communicating your expectations throughout.

Similarly, it would be fine (legally at least) for me to say that I am a billionaire rockstar Olympian astronaut in order to improve my sexual prospects. Obviously someone could withdraw their consent when they realised I was lying, but I think few people would consider that to be something the law should prevent (even though it is super shady).

None of this to say anything about the rights and wrongs of this specific incident. Trans people aren’t inherently rapists or anything like that but they’re also not immune to it. But it would be remiss of me to not mention that Bindel is primarily known for her transphobia these days and I don’t trust her to be an impartial reporter on trans issues.

These could be appended to your list...

- When one person agrees to sex contingent upon the other person being of legal age, and that other person is actually a minor.

- When one person agrees to sex contingent upon the other person eventually divorcing her/his spouse, and that other person never files for divorce.

- When one person agrees to sex contingent upon the other person providing favors (i.e., employment, free rent, better grades, increased pay, a promotion, a speaking role in a movie or TV show, et cetera), and then that other person does not deliver.

- When one person agrees to sex contingent upon the other person paying them for sex, and then that person does not pay.

Lets see who can invent the most DIVORCED FROM REALITY imaginary mental condition!

But people call out rape by deception in other cases though. So why does it count as rape by deception in other cases of deception, but not by decieving someone if you are trans or not?

Under what context is someone deceiving another in whether they are trans or not?

Perhaps if they were asked if they were trans and then lied, that would be something. But the frame of mind that they have to say something or have whatever happens be called rape, kind of sounds like an extra standard is being put for trans people. There might be social reasons why a trans person should be forward about their certain circumstances, such as things like violence, just as there might be reasons why they might keep quiet. But some sort of legal mandate that trans people needing to say things before getting down or be at risk of committing a crime, sounds really close to the trans panic defence.

Ahem. Well you see the sexual orientations superstraight or its homosexual counterparts supergay/superlesbian are attracted to the biology of their would-be partners. Concealing that biology is a sexual offence and denying that is an attack on these protected groups, you bigot.

Pretty sure something is not a sexuality just because a bunch of transphobic people pretend it is (I already said genital preference can be a thing), let alone some attempt to say that those that might like trans people are not really straight or a fake gay maybe.

But by all means let these people self identify as superstraight/gay/lesbian, so that prospective partners can choose to stay away from them. it can work in the safety of some people to have warning from people who might be at risk in attacking them for being trans, accusing them of rape, or maybe just don't want to deal with someone with so much insecutiy in their gender as to feel the need to add "super" to the start of it.

The bigot comment is funny.

Those are good points. I guess it's hard for people to ask if a person they are interested in is trans or not because so many people are offended by that question when asked, but if people could be less offended, that would definitely help solve issues maybe?

If it sounds difficult for the people to ask others if they are trans, can you imagine how difficult it would be for the trans people?

That makes sense, but I still feel that people should be open and honest with each other, rather than keep secrets because it's difficult. It starts with some people being open and honest, and then it will spread.