I am so sensitive to other people's moods
I have always been super sensitive to other people's moods, and now I know and understand about autism and trauma, I think it is being "hypervigilant" which comes from being abused when quite young. You set your radar unconsciously always watching for danger in the background of whatever you are doing. Startle reflex is quite strong and anxiety, fear is very frequent in almost everything I do. I figured this out after reading a lot about autism and trauma. It could be that when this happens it is because of the feeling that there is constant danger, especially watching for explosions that may put one in harms way. I learned this behavior mode long before I could talk, it has got better over the years as I feel safer, but any display of aggravation or anger puts me in full flight mode in an instant. Instinct is hard to overcome once it is trained. At least now I understand the "why" behind this particular behavior pattern and I can take measures to protect myself and avoid those personality types. I don't think the anxiety/upset/in danger response is ever going to go away, it has been too long a part of me now at age 69. I may be alive today because of that in my growing up and young adult years. Wishing you all the best.
_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
StrayCat81
Sea Gull
Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 214
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
One of reasons I've learned to despise humans. Not only they make no sense, they also spread their toxic emotions everywhere, and it's annoyingly easy to pick it up. And on rare occasions when they are actually happy, they tend to be so loud and obnoxious that I get overstimulated in their presence... Guess the only good human is dead human, since they don't really affect me badly... :3
Which makes me wonder, what am I even doing here, this forum is also full of humans... Although at least you all are far away, so only partially annoying... And maybe I will learn something useful so the suffering will be worth it? :3
I am super sensitive to others' emotions also and extremely aware of it. I wonder that my ASD-like BFF is sensitive also, but she is mostly unaware of it. For example, outwardly I am highly reactive and mostly my brain lights up (emotional overwhelm and intensity) and on rare occasions I shut down (feel nothing). My BFF is the opposite: outwardly underreactive, mostly shut downs, on rare occasions explodes. There is a PTSD study that shows brain images of trauma survivors that shows these polar biological responses. Making fun of analogies: A double-edged sword, or two sides of a coin --- where most people use the flat of the sword or the edge of the coin?
In my case, if I can express myself alongside the person, it's not a problem. However, if I am supposed to regulate myself while they are not... that's a challenge. I was at a funeral and since I am "on" or "off", in my culture which is reserved I chose "off" which was disappointing (I could not talk). I wish I were in a different culture where I could have wailed alongside the griever and we'd both be better for it. Albeit, I don't think my husband wants me wailing when he's cursing at his lost internet connection.
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