Is anyone here not narcissistic at all?
StrayCat81
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By that I mean you don't care what opinion others have about you. You can't be offended, because you don't care. Compliments are meaningless, because again, you don't care.
Curious what will be the results. I have a working theory that humans are inherently narcissistic, but happy to find someone to disprove it :3
StrayCat81
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That's the problem with labels, they tend to be vague. I thought about calling it sociopathy too, but that label seems to be used for people who are reckless and antisocial. While this is more like being asocial? But asocial isn't popular label, so I assumed nobody would know what I'm talking about...
I have hard time noticing that gulf. Both types demand compliments (narcissistic supply), or else they get butthurt?
StrayCat81
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Isn't it still characteristic of every human ever? For example, I like pigs, because unlike humans, pigs can be nice and cute. But if I told random human that I value them almost as much as a pig, they would get instantly butthurt. Why? My guess is because feeling of superiority. Is this correct?
StrayCat81
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Isn't it still characteristic of every human ever? For example, I like pigs, because unlike humans, pigs can be nice and cute. But if I told random human that I value them almost as much as a pig, they would get instantly butthurt. Why? My guess is because feeling of superiority. Is this correct?
Narcissism is a specific diagnosis that has certain criteria that need to be validated. It is very much not at all similar to what you're describing. You are describing a subjective evaluation based on your own values, and how other humans consider those based on their own subjectivity.
This is normal. Whether they get offended or not is not really relevant, because it falls within a standard expectation of how humans react in a social circumstance. We are social creatures, hence we have such expectations that fall within the norms.
A Narcissist falls OUTSIDE of the norm.
A more typical response from a Narcissist would not to be "butthurt" about your comment. Instead, they would agree with you that humans aren't as good as pigs, and oh by the way they have the most bestest cutest pig ever, would you like to see it, it is their favorite pig and they want you to be impressed with it.
...and they could be lying through their teeth. And they will use that leverage of your interest in THEM to find ways to make you like them more...until eventually you can ONLY focus on them, even above your personal like of pigs. That is their goal.
And if you do not play by those rules...they don't care about you or your pigs. But if they think they can get more attention by getting other people t hate you for liking pigs, they will do so 2 seconds after they told you they love pigs.
THAT is why Narcissism is not a term that applies here. Narcissists behave in ways that are decidedly not NT, and in a way that can be very dangerous. They are not sociopaths, but they can sometimes seem like it.
StrayCat81
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A certain amount of "self love" is vital to survival. But like everything else in life it can be taken to pathological extremes.
Its the pathological extreme that is named after the character Narcissus in Greek mythology, and is given that diagnostic label.
Thats it. End of discussion.
FleaOfTheChill
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To address that ^
I can be offended (it takes a lot. I'm not easily offended), but I don't know that I've ever been offended by what someone thinks about me. I'm not much effected by praise or criticism. I might take the words into consideration if it's relevant to something, like a task I'm trying to accomplish, but beyond that, eh, I'm not concerned. But when it comes to insults, I don't care. If someone compliments me, it rolls off the same as insults.
I don't know if it's 'not narcissistic' of me though. I actually think it's kind of selfish. I don't care what others think of me because they aren't me. They don't have to wake up in my skin everyday and live my life, I do, so they are irrelevant to me. When dealing with others it all comes down to how I view myself and them, not how they view me. It's been problematic with me in my interactions with others.
It is fair to note, I was speaking about people who aren't my family. I do care what my kids think to a point. If I was, for example, doing something that embarrassed them in public, I would try to do something about that. I would care what they think...up to a certain point. It wouldn't offend me though. They have every right to feel how they feel and to speak their minds about it so long as they do so with decency and respect.
I don't react to compliments or deliberate put-downs emotionally. I'm open to constructive criticism. I'm wary of folks that are hinting that they might escalate things: either with violence, malicious falsehood rumors/slander, or micromanaging.
I'd love to live by the adage of "Don't worry what others think about you, do your own thing." But seeing as others may have the physical or social power to destroy me out of nowhere, I must remain vigilant. Not all NTs are evil, but the ones that are can be flat-out viscous.
Stay safe. Be aware of those around you.
...yes, normies can be viscous.
StrayCat81
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Very true, it does complicate things. With issues like that, how did you end up being super social, with kids and all?
Yes, exactly. This is actually why it took me long time to realize how weird I am. I thought everyone pretends to care in order to not get in trouble. But apparently normal humans actually have intrinsic need to be admired and seen as 'good', whatever that means...
Ran away from them, being completely alone is great, sweet freedom... :3
That's not what narcissism means.
Everyone on the planet has some of these traits but it doesn't mean they're narcissists. To be a narcissist you need most (or all) of these traits:-
Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Take advantage of others to get what they want
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office
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It's called the Ego -- not narcissism.
Narcissism is a personality disorder, not a fundamental (yet a very noisy) part of the human experience and psyche.
Egos comes with all sizes, shapes, colors or even other characteristic like 'flexibility', 'strength' or 'durability'.
An egotistical person has a bigger and stronger ego, but not necessarily fragile.
Narcissists on average has bigger sizes, yet also generally will always have a fragile ego.
So... To sum up --
All humans have egos.
But not all those who have an ego are narcissists.
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Narcissistic personality disorder -- one of several types of personality disorders -- is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy (psychotherapy).
Source: This Mayo Clinic Article
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