Do even very young children have this knack?

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firemonkey
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14 Aug 2021, 7:04 am

The knack of sussing that a person is significantly different to the other children,teenagers and adults they know.


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Nades
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14 Aug 2021, 7:19 am

In the most basic sense without getting into psychology, yes they appear to be capable of it.



firemonkey
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14 Aug 2021, 9:15 am

I asked because my 3 year old gt granddaughter was asked by her mother give me a hug yesterday , and gave a very wary look. I just said 'it's OK' . I'll add that I'm not blood related but am called grandfather. It might be an age thing re her not wanting to give me a hug ie not unusual for a child that age..

My(step) daughter, I'd like to drop the 'step' bit ,as she's the closest to a daughter I'll ever have but I'm not sure how she'd feel about that She has known me for nearly 40 years . Her real father was out of the picture before she started school.

Apart from my late wife I've not been very forward in using the word love. It's something I say with ease to my(step) daughter etc, and they to me.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2021, 10:17 am

Children tend to be wary of strangers from a very young age.

Sometimes, though, curiosity supersedes the wariness, and this is where naïveté might replace the wariness, thus children being the target of exploiters (note: I’m talking about wariness versus naïveté in general, not your situation).

I feel like your granddaughter is “sensibly wary”—but at least she seems to have warmed up to the idea of you being her granddad.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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14 Aug 2021, 12:00 pm

Sometimes they pick it up very quickly from the way others around them behave toward the object or subject, so it's learned what belongs in the group and what doesn't. It relates to survival and is a healthy part of development. Also, they notice differences and similarities on their own and make judgments accordingly.


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firemonkey
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14 Aug 2021, 12:16 pm

My s/family are very good to me. I can't fault them on that score.


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Joe90
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14 Aug 2021, 12:34 pm

It is common in small children to be shy around adults that aren't their immediate family. I think even I was the same.


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ToughDiamond
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15 Aug 2021, 2:35 pm

I wouldn't read much into a small child being shy of me if they weren't used to me. The ones I've met have never seemed to care much who they engaged with, though nobody has ever tried to get them to hug me, and I can understand any child not wanting to be pushed into something like that with anybody.



firemonkey
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15 Aug 2021, 5:52 pm

I've known her from days after she was born. It's a major worry/paranoia of mine that adults can tell I'm odd by the way I talk,walk and look etc. I do wonder whether children are the same.

My s/dau showed me a short clip of her swimming without armbands today. She won't be 4 till November. I felt so proud of her.


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reginaterrae
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15 Aug 2021, 7:42 pm

I'll echo the others in thinking it's just general shyness and not probably about you as being "odd." It seems to me that very small children might notice differences among us without judging them the way older kids do. Even really obvious physical disabilities, the really little ones just seem to take in their stride.

Take me with a grain of salt though.... I have an opinion on everything ... I am not a mother or a teacher, I'm the youngest child in my family, I don't have a lot of experience with children.

I am told that when I was four years old, sitting at the dinner table with my (white) family, sitting next to a guest who was a close friend of the family, i.e., I had met him very many times already, I looked up into his (black) face and said "Jim! Your hand is black!" I had never noticed until that minute........