I've been to an aspie's funeral...

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dorkseid
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15 Aug 2021, 11:23 am

Well, I can't say for certain that he was an aspie. This was in a time and place where AS awareness did not exist at all, so he never received any diagnosis. But many of the classical signs were present.

He was awkward in some ways. He never married. He had a strong fascination with classical literature that he often talked about even when others were clearly disinterested. And many people disliked him and thought he was weird. I never knew what he did for a living.

He died by suicide when I was in high school, and I attended his funeral. My mom told to ask my uncle to take me because he wouldn't have gone at all otherwise. I noticed that nobody really wanted to be there, and I could tell from what they were saying that everyone was only there out of a sense of social obligation. Everyone was making jokes and insulting remarks about people who struggle with mental health and/or die by suicide. I remember hearing a lot of jokes about people who hear voices, and nobody could seem to comprehend how anyone would want to take his own life. And I learned something new that day: Muslims typically pray for the deceased at funerals, but they never pray for people who die by suicide.

After the funeral, nobody ever talked about him again. Nobody ever noted that anything had ever changed after that. Nobody seemed to miss the guy. It was almost as if he'd never existed.

Every other eulogy I've ever heard emphasized that the deceased was survived by their family, and how that is what made them matter. Every time a character in a movie or TV show gets killed, the reaction of those around him is always that he had a wife and children. It is always emphasized that that is specifically why a person's death is tragic; why their life mattered. The message is clear: only men who have a spouse and/or children hold value. Societies even actively engage in wars for the purpose of disposing of their excess unmarried men.

I don't have any children or anyone who depends on me. I've never been married and nobody has wanted to b my girlfriend in over 12 years. I barely even have any friends. And I don't have any skill sets that are not easily replaced or hold any social or professional function that is crucial to society. If I were to disappear tomorrow nobody would be affected by my absence, and I sincerely doubt anyone would even notice I'm gone. And when I say all that, I know it from experience; I've seen it with my own eyes.



DuckHairback
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15 Aug 2021, 2:19 pm

Cheer up chum, no one's going to remember any of us for more than a few decades after we die. And once you're dead you're probably not going to care anyway.


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Mountain Goat
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15 Aug 2021, 3:55 pm

Jesus loves you. He cares.



dorkseid
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15 Aug 2021, 4:12 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Jesus loves you. He cares.


Seriously?! !



Mountain Goat
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15 Aug 2021, 4:23 pm

dorkseid wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Jesus loves you. He cares.


Seriously?! !


Yes. I would not say it if I was not serious.



Aspie1
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11 Sep 2021, 8:31 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Yes. I would not say it if I was not serious.
You can't forget that not all of us here are Christian. I'm an atheist now. Prior to that, I was Jewish. And before you say anything, the hell I'll go to for rejecting Jesus can't be any worse than the hell I live in now. :P

Lake of fire? Satan poking me with his pitchfork? Pfft! :lol: My nerves, blood vessels, heat receptors, and pain receptors will stay with my corpse. And that's IF I don't choose to have it cremated. My ghost won't feel physical pain, just the boredom from swimming a lake of fire for all eternity, which still can't be any worse than the boredom and loneliness I lived with throughout my entire childhood. In other words, when I go to hell, I won't experience anything I don't already know.



dorkseid
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11 Sep 2021, 12:12 pm

I suggest reading the Haven forum rules.



dorkseid
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11 Sep 2021, 12:14 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Yes. I would not say it if I was not serious.
You can't forget that not all of us here are Christian. I'm an atheist now. Prior to that, I was Jewish. And before you say anything, the hell I'll go to for rejecting Jesus can't be any worse than the hell I live in now. :P

Lake of fire? Satan poking me with his pitchfork? Pfft! :lol: My nerves, blood vessels, heat receptors, and pain receptors will stay with my corpse. And that's IF I don't choose to have it cremated. My ghost won't feel physical pain, just the boredom from swimming a lake of fire for all eternity, which still can't be any worse than the boredom and loneliness I lived with throughout my entire childhood. In other words, when I go to hell, I won't experience anything I don't already know.


Besides, even if you were to accept Jesus, you'd just end up spending eternity in Allah's hell.



XFilesGeek
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11 Sep 2021, 1:04 pm

Please, don't proselytize in The Haven.


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Jakki
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11 Sep 2021, 1:22 pm

am pretty sure the opening post of this thread will eventual apply to me aswell as alot of us.
Particularily if One gets to make it into old age. And manage to outlive friends and family.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2021, 2:39 pm

Not many people will remember me, either, when I “go.”

This is why I seek to enjoy myself as much as possible in life. Instead of lamenting over things you can’t control.



Aspie1
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11 Sep 2021, 3:28 pm

dorkseid wrote:
Besides, even if you were to accept Jesus, you'd just end up spending eternity in Allah's hell.
Islam and Judaism have more in common than people are willing to admit; I'm Jewish. And Judaism doesn't have a strong belief in the afterlife. Even the rabbi presiding over my family member's funeral :( emphasized the importance of families remembering the deceased, rather than what happens to them after the burial.

So... while I know little about the Islam, I don't think it has a strong concept of afterlife, either. There's that "70 virgins in heaven" thing, but it's an extremist belief; I'm talking about mainstream Islam. I know it has a concept of End Times and eschatology, like the other two Abrahamic faiths do, but it's still more of a "here and now" religion



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11 Sep 2021, 4:25 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Besides, even if you were to accept Jesus, you'd just end up spending eternity in Allah's hell.
Islam and Judaism have more in common than people are willing to admit; I'm Jewish. And Judaism doesn't have a strong belief in the afterlife. Even the rabbi presiding over my family member's funeral :( emphasized the importance of families remembering the deceased, rather than what happens to them after the burial.

So... while I know little about the Islam, I don't think it has a strong concept of afterlife, either. There's that "70 virgins in heaven" thing, but it's an extremist belief; I'm talking about mainstream Islam. I know it has a concept of End Times and eschatology, like the other two Abrahamic faiths do, but it's still more of a "here and now" religion


Actually, the Afterlife is a very big part of Islam and is heavily emphasized in both the Quran and the Hadith and in Islamic culture. According to Islam, on the Day of Resurrections (Yoam Al-Quiyama) all will rise from the dead to face the judgement of Allah. The righteous will be rewarded by being admitted into Jannah (Paradise) while the wicked and the disbelievers will be punished in Jahanam (Hell). A very large portion of the Quran is dedicated to the promises of rewards of heaven for the believers and the threats of the torments of hell for the disbelievers. While the 72 virgins things is mentioned in the Quran, it is rarely mentioned and what is commonly emphasized are the palaces and gardens and food. In hell, disbelievers are are subjected to hot fires and their skins melt away but are immediately replaced by new skins. When they ask for water they have boiling water poured down their throats the tears apart their intestines. And while it is a common belief among Muslims that most people will only be in Hell until they complete being punished for their sins and are allowed into heaven afterwards, this is actually in direct contradiction with the Quran which is very clear that no-one who enters hell will ever be allowed out. There are also many beliefs about the torments the dead in the grave while awaiting judgement, but none of that is mentioned in the Quran itself. There is one way for a Muslim to guarantee going straight to heaven after their death, and that is to die in battle during Jihad.