My boyfriend is mad at me (might be long post)

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We had free shopping vouchers come through, and as we're struggling with money at the moment we thought these vouchers would be the perfect way to get a free load of groceries for today. But we couldn't spend these vouchers in the supermarkets that we normally get our groceries from, so we had to go to a store that I don't usually go to so wasn't familiar with.
There was nowhere to park the car so I had to go into the store while my boyfriend drove around town until it was time to pick me up.
Like I said, I wasn't familiar with this particular store, and I didn't have a shopping list. He just said to get what I can, and anything I don't get we can always get it the next day. So I didn't feel too much under pressure to do a whole shop, and I just tried to focus on the things we needed.
I saw a load of new ice-cream and stuff that you don't often get anywhere else, and I must admit I got a little carried away with the deals and ended up buying 6 different types of ice-cream and still had enough voucher money left over.
I got other things we needed like bread and milk and sauce and drink, but there were a couple of things I forgot. But I weaved in and out of each aisle about 5 or 6 times with the shopping cart, carefully looking for things my boyfriend might like. I got the things I'd like, but a lot of the food choices there I had never heard of and wasn't sure whether to get them or not, as I know my boyfriend doesn't always like trying new things. I couldn't find much I was familiar with, so I just stuck to what I know and went to pay.

I was happy to still have some voucher money left over, and I felt pleased that we had some free items to get us through the rest of the day and tonight. But when we arrived home my boyfriend was dissatisfied with about 95% of what I had got. He said he didn't like the crisps (potato chips) I had got even though he bought the same ones a few weeks ago and never complained. I'd bought our favourite canned food but he still seemed disgruntled. And I'd bought milk with a 5-day expiration date which I thought was long enough (because we do get through milk fast) but he said that isn't long enough. And he was especially mad at the amount of ice-cream I had got even though it was for both of us (as he likes all sorts of ice-cream). I didn't buy any cakes because I'm trying to cut down on things like that, and he needs to lose weight too and I know that if cakes and chocolate are there in the pantry we will eat them, probably all in one day. But I bought tropical fruit juice to have instead.

He just was disgruntled by everything I'd bought and kept saying it in that passive-aggressive sort of way. For the rest of the day he's been a bit off with me, and it's made me feel guilty. I now feel like I've failed, and that I'm stupid and selfish - even though I'm usually good at shopping and getting what others like. But I know how fussy he is with groceries, so even if he writes a list for me and I get one thing wrong he won't like it, instead of being open-minded and just try it.
I hate letting other people down. I tried to achieve something and I failed. I am a failure. A hopeless case. It's really fed my depression. He made me cry and didn't even comfort me or reassure me by appreciating what I had got.

I suppose because he's an NT everyone here will be on his side, so having Asperger's/ADHD just makes me a failure.

It sounds like he's being needlessly whiny. For example, he's had those crisps before but this time they're a problem? No, he's just frustrated by all the little things adding up and taking it out on you.

I agree that it sounds like he seems frustrated at something other than what you bought if you got two things that you already knew he liked.

Don’t make assumptions like that. We’re on your side here.

He should go shopping for himself.

I hate to grocery shop for that very reason. So, about 8 years ago I stopped. Now my husband does all the grocery shopping and I don't get upset by what he chooses.

Maybe offer to drive around while your boyfriend does the shopping, then he can't complain. And I tell my husband that's my strategy. I use one of those corny communication templates I learnt in therapy: When I _____ , you seem ______. So, next time we will switch roles and you can do the _____ and I'll do the _____ instead. It works for us.

I don't drive, and he does normally do the shopping but I had to do it this time because he had to be with the car. I didn't mind, as I am capable, but I wasn't sure what I was looking for but I tried my best.

I'm a people-pleaser, and when I don't please someone I get all anxious and worry that I'm selfish. But I suppose all humans are entitled to be selfish sometimes, no?

I hope your boyfriend got over it already….

We are fine now. We got more shopping today using the rest of the vouchers. (We got on the bus today then got the shopping delivered home, as this particular supermarket can do that). Actually we made a joke over it today, he said they might sell out of ice-cream today because I bought all the ice-cream yesterday.