People Overload - anthropophobia & ASD?

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I wondered if anyone else on the spectrum often feels a need to make friends and connect with others in a meaningful way, but is also trapped by a feeling of hypersensitivity around people based on what they say and how they act. I am not sure this is anthropophobia (fear of people) but it is definitely anxiety inducing while also very depressing. It's a difficult one because it's a feeling of wanting to meet new people but also having that feeling being offset by being frustrated, alienated and depressed by what and how they say things as well as their general behaviour and attitude. I don't think I avoid people although I would acknowledge that I don't particularly mix much with them. There's always this profound feeling of isolation when I am usually bunched with others.

I suppose this stems from the fact that people with ASD have to talk about something that means alot to them with someone else rather than indulging in banter and the like. I am not sure but it is overwhelming being around people because I end up thinking about things that have happened that may last many months or even years. I remember discussing this with someone who had some academic knowledge of autism and they said that autistic people can develop social trauma similar to Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) if we are confronted, for example, by a misunderstanding from someone else in public, or various bad social experiences at an earlier point in our lives at school, for instance. I recognise it as an involuntary, compulsive sort of hyper-perception of what people are doing or saying which leads to a bungled combination stress, frustration and depression.

I have a friend who has OCD and on the spectrum who has a problem similar to this. He is very anxious in getting on public transport and commented on feeling all the eyes on him when getting on the bus, for instance.

I wondered if anyone else could relate to this(?)

I definitely relate to all that.

I'm kinda dealing with something at the moment so I can't talk to much about it right now, but I can say that one thing I noticed that's helped me a fair bit is that, speaking plainly, it takes me much longer than average to start 'trusting' people.

In more detail, what I mean is that it takes awhile for my brain to 'learn' and get used to new people, to feel less like they're some unknown and unpredictable person, and to feel more casual and be less analytical of every little thing in our interactions.

Realizing and accepting this has made it less stressful for me to meet new people. I'm less critical of how I act and respond before 'familiarity' sets in. I acknowledge that my brain acts differently with new people. It's still relatively unpleasant, of course, but I'm more patient and forgiving of myself in response to that.

Also, that fear of people looking at you is called Scopophobia. I learned that from another autist here who also experiences it. Up until then, I actually had no idea it was a thing even though I also experienced it. It's crazy what kind of things you can get used to, accepting as just a normal part of the human experience.

I have the sensitivity.
In my worse of moods, it skirts around to degrees of mild intolerance, which would just provoke the same irritation and overwhelm like with hearing and unable to ignore noises.

Thus, just as stressful or draining in human presences.
In fact, mine may not be limited to humans -- but just about any living being big and capable of being rowdy enough to be disruptive.


But like most sensory intensity based issues and various circumstances, I don't have the lasting anxiety and never had fear over it.
Let alone trauma and feelings of isolation because of it.

I can't relate probably because I don't have the same (social and emotional) desires or priorities in life.
And unlike most people with ASD, I don't have the same intolerance to uncertainty. Most at the time, there's no anxiety for me to deal or cope in most situations.

Nor same reactions to stress. Anxiety is a reaction to stress.
I still deal the same amount of stress that comes from the sensitivity. It's the reaction and outcome just isn't the same.



TLDR; I can relate to sensitivity part.
But not the anxiety and fear, isolation and depression part.

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I can relate to what you describe too. I get really lonely and crave friendship and companionship, but being around people, especially new people, is total sensory overload. It is like my synapses get white hot from energy processing overload and then snap and collapse, and then I'm wiped out.

It isn't as bad with people I know, but it still exists. I do best with plants and animals, and in some cases, other autistics. Generally, but not always, people on the spectrum don't seem to send my nervous system into overdrive as much.

I agree with what you're saying about social PTSD. NT people give me very high anxiety, mostly because I know from experience once they see any percieved weaknesses or vulnerabilities they can be anything from bullies, to straight out dangerous and life threatening for people who are different. My system is on such high alert, socializing is the last thing I can do with people like that. All systems say get the heck away!

I can handle an average of an hour a day of dealing with the general public and most acquaintances. One guy who has helped me when I needed it does not lead to re-hashed conversations keeping me awake as I try to logically sort out any emotional content I'd missed. Our opinions are far from coincident, but they are considerably closer than the average match around here.
All my life, I've searched for people who share my special interests to discuss them, and never gotten well engaged, even though I'm interested in saving people vast sums and much conflict. Emotions keep short-circuiting what should be logical exchanges.