Height being most important factor?

Post Reply New Topic

This is true. I would add though that finding "the one" is the ultimate goal, and attracting a high number of prospective partners is useful as a means to that end.

But you don't need to appeal to everyone, or even most people. As long as you can garner the interest of even a handful of people you also have an interest in, finding your match is plausible.

It's when you appeal to very few people or no people you're interested in that you have a problem.

If I relied upon statistics to determine my dating future, I’d still be a virgin at 60. If I went about dating the conventional way, I’d still be a virgin at 60.

I’m just under 5 foot 5, 164 cm. My “looks” depend upon how I carry myself. I appear to have a vague disorder. People looking for that know right away. I’m not really articulate. I stutter slightly and I blend words and phrases together to a mild degree; this is known as “cluttering.” I sense there is a slight “ret*d” cadence to my voice, though it has lessened over the years. My phraseology is rather childlike.

I knew, from about age 15 or so, that I had to achieve romance through the back or side door. If I went about it the conventional way, I’d have no chance. Even less chance with online dating.

Statistics are irrelevant for individual persons.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Nov 2021, 5:56 am, edited 3 times in total.

Hence why surveys should be anonymous, no one wants to appear "shallow" in public.

It's thanks to statistics that more people are encouraged to get vaccinated .

In the case of the Facebook poll I was talking about, you could see the names of the people who voted no.

Vaccination is science. “Social science” is a crapshoot.

If you go about dating using scientific methods, you would have no chance.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Nov 2021, 5:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

All people have internal narrative and genuinely believe many things they tell not only to others, but to themselves as well. Every study confirms that, even in case of completely anonymous questionnaires about some trivial, low stake matters, results of asking people virtually never match de facto data collected by observation.

I recall a study that confirms that but not gonna post here.

Yes.....there are some women who care about height. There are some women who would not go out with somebody who is shorter than them.

But there are many who don't care about height, and some who wouldn't mind going out with somebody shorter than them.

My wife and I are the same height----but she claims I'm shorter than her. The difference is that her arms are longer than mine, and her face is a little smaller. If I had a smaller head, I'd probably be closer to 5 foot 3.

I was debating about this topic on yahoo answers and one person said “doesn’t matter if a man is tall or short us women just don’t find men attractive”

More people attracted to you doesn't necessarily translate to more relationship success. What matters is how many of the people attracted to you are actually compatible partners for you.

If you're swamped with offers from unsuitable people, you're likely to have a lot of trouble picking out the few that would be suitable from the crowd.

This is also assuming you even know who's attracted to you. I've known many people who've realized only years later that someone was hitting on them.

Your logic is similar to people who argue "calories in calories out" for dieting. It sounds plausible, but the reality is way more complicated.

For example, social psych research shows that people who have an easier time getting dates don't necessarily have an easier time finding someone they want to marry. In particular, high social self-monitoring (basically the NT equivalent of masking) makes it easier to find dates but harder to find a spouse.

Is the hypothetical women who is open to dating someone shorter than them, also required to refuse any advances from men taller than her?

A lot of people talk about physical traits they find attractive when single, it doesn't mean they will only date people who check off all the boxes in that list. Also, just because someone would date someone poorer, shorter or less attractive does not mean that is the person they will meet who they hit it off with.

Sounds like my aunt :> Popular, had loads of boyfriends but never established a stable relationship.

My post-high-school observation was, the first to marry were the less objectively attractive couples - I think once they found each other, they didn't expect many more chances, so they were faster to invest into their existing relationships.

It seems clear that that there are three possibilities when trying to measure the opinions of people regarding their own preferences (in many other cases, not just whether women are strongly selective of taller men).

1) There will be a lack of honesty when disclosing one's opinions in a non-anonymous survey (whether that lack of honesty is known or subconscious)

2) A preference (or lack thereof) will be expressed, and sincerely believed, but actions in life will run counter to the expressed.

3) A preference (or lack thereof) will be expressed, and sincerely believed, and actions in life will accurately reflect the stated attitude. I would be very interested to see a statistical breakdown of this sub-group, and whether the honest "yeah, I like and go for tall guys" subset or the honest "He only needs to be a good guy in other ways, height is unimportant" subset wins out...

I don't think this is necessarily true. I think what decides whether or not someone gets married young is their values.

For instance, some people really value getting married and starting a family. Maybe their religion or their family background, highly encourages finding someone to marry. As a result, people with these values tend to marry quicker and younger compared to others who prefer to date casually without setting down or those who'd rather focus on a career than on getting married. Also the culture you grew up in can really influence people to get married young if that is what is seen as normal or the norm. I know that in many small rural areas, many people get married before the age of 25 and that is completely normal for them.


I graduated from a small Christian high school with a class of 13 kids and I know at least half of them are married now. The people who got married young were the most well known and popular kids, and I would say that most of them are fairly religious. Because in Christian culture, marriage is seen as a very sacred thing to do, so those who are very religious, along with growing up in a conservative culture that promotes marriage, will tend to get married younger.

Could also be that less attractive people were more likely to pick partners based on personality, and therefore end up with someone they actually enjoy spending time with and not just looking at.